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Posted: 4/24/2002 3:57:51 AM EDT
[#1]
So, then, I take it you're not overly religious yourself?
[:D] |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 4:05:04 AM EDT
[#2]
it's not the religious that bother me, it's the hypocrites and stupid people. there's just no telling what some folks will do in the deity's name.
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Posted: 4/24/2002 4:55:31 AM EDT
[#3]
Who would I trust more: an imaginary Cosmic Muffin, or the average psychiatrist? [:\]
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Posted: 4/24/2002 5:05:35 AM EDT
[#4]
Achmed, please don't use the name of the Giant Space Turtle in vain, lest he rain his terrible wrath down upon your unbelieving head.
In the Giant Space Turtle we trust. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 5:12:03 AM EDT
[#5]
I for one have placed all my faith in the Giant Space Turtle. Any further blasphemy on your part could result in you being charged with a hate crime. Think carefully.
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Posted: 4/24/2002 5:19:07 AM EDT
[#6]
And which religion is it, exactly, that professes the spiritual practice of regular *intimate* contact with nubile 18 and 19 year old cheereleaders?
Where does the Turtle stand on this issue? |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 5:24:28 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted: And which religion is it, exactly, that professes the spiritual practice of regular *intimate* contact with nubile 18 and 19 year old cheereleaders? That would be the "Assembly of Golf." |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 5:37:16 AM EDT
[#8]
Quoted: And which religion is it, exactly, that professes the spiritual practice of regular *intimate* contact with nubile 18 and 19 year old cheereleaders? Where does the Turtle stand on this issue? Giant Space Turtle is all for it. "And bring the cheerleaders unto you, and the short little skirts shall be removed from them, and their little sweaters, and they shall rightfully praise your prowess and ability in the Great Shell of Pleasure" Most Giant Space Turtle scholars interpret the "Giant Shell of Pleasure" to be a reference to a bed. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 6:09:58 AM EDT
[#9]
Quoted: "And bring the cheerleaders unto you, and the short little skirts shall be removed from them, and their little sweaters, and they shall rightfully praise your prowess and ability in the Great Shell of Pleasure" Most Giant Space Turtle scholars interpret the "Giant Shell of Pleasure" to be a reference to a bed. Pardon me, sir. Do you have a scriptural reference for this? I believe it is in Shecky 2:12 that we read, "There will be hosts of strippers in schoolgirl outfits unto the faithful, and the Giant Space Turtle will bless them with frosty Jack and Cokes for their righteousness." [img]www.threewisheslingerie.com/images/TeachersPet5.jpg[/img] [img]www.libations.com/base2/images/jack_coke_images/stripesGIF.gif[/img] Please try to stay specific, and don't lend your own interpretations to the Word. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 6:11:18 AM EDT
[#10]
Sorry, I was working from memory, as I did not have my copy of the Giant Space Turtle scrolls handy at the moment.
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Posted: 4/24/2002 6:22:38 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted: Quoted: "And bring the cheerleaders unto you, and the short little skirts shall be removed from them, and their little sweaters, and they shall rightfully praise your prowess and ability in the Great Shell of Pleasure" Most Giant Space Turtle scholars interpret the "Giant Shell of Pleasure" to be a reference to a bed. Pardon me, sir. Do you have a scriptural reference for this? I believe it is in Shecky 2:12 that we read, "There will be hosts of strippers in schoolgirl outfits unto the faithful, and the Giant Space Turtle will bless them with frosty Jack and Cokes for their righteousness." [img]www.threewisheslingerie.com/images/TeachersPet5.jpg[/img] [img]www.libations.com/base2/images/jack_coke_images/stripesGIF.gif[/img] Please try to stay specific, and don't lend your own interpretations to the Word. Can I get an Amen!! Say: "Hallelujah!" |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 6:31:09 AM EDT
[#12]
All together now: "We love you Gamera!"
[img]http://www.geocities.com/chrisjkoch/images/Gamera/gam01u.jpg[/img] -White Horse (added pic and fixed spelling) |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 6:35:48 AM EDT
[#13]
Quoted: All together now: "We love you Gamara!" -White Horse [i]DR. FORRESTER: How does the Gamera theme song stack up against songs from yesteryear? FEINSTEIN: Oh, it's interesting you should ask that because the opening lyric of the Gamera theme song has sort of a Rogers and Hart feel to it. Let me show you what I mean. [plays piano and sings] Gamera-- [plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk] Gamera-- [tra la la la, tra la la la] Gamera is really neat. Gamera is filled with meat. We all love you, Gamera. But then the second part is a little more fun. It has a sort of George and Ira Gershwin feel to it. Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Claws, Scales, Breath, Fun. It sort of sneaks up on you. "Boo," it says. [plays piano and sings] Gamera's enchantment still grows. He fills our hearts with love. Gamera's the latest thing. He fills our hearts with spring, spring, spring! Anytime you want some moonbeams, [whispered] Gamera is the thing. [plays piano and sings] Gamera is really neat, He is filled with turtle meat. We all love you, GAMERA!!![/i] |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 6:50:43 AM EDT
[#14]
Behold!
[img]http://home.earthlink.net/~steveandrenee/gamsup.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 6:57:23 AM EDT
[#15]
I guess it has escaped our resident psochological experts that authorities in the field of children's behavior have already stated that regardless of whether or not Ryan Alexander was taking his medication for ADHD, it would have had no bearing on his likelihood or predisposal to commit such a horrendous crime.
Ya'll can go back to your ignorant God bashing/mocking now |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:04:48 AM EDT
[#16]
Ignorant god-bashing?
I thought it was very literate sarcasm myself. BTW, it is "psychological". |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:26:20 AM EDT
[#17]
And yet, God still loves all of you.
Not in the mushy, sappy, puppy love sense, but in the sent His own Son to die for you sins, in payment for a debt He did not owe, that you could not pay. And all you have to do is ALLOW Him to pay it. Your call. Choose wisely. The stakes are eternally high. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:38:50 AM EDT
[#18]
DScott, thanks for the lingerie link!
Boomer, the news last night was vague about what the medication was, but implied that it was relevant to the 16-year-old murdering the little kid. If you have more specifics, then maybe you know whether it would have mattered or not. Let this be a lesson to me -- never post while sozzled. Oy. But I'll let it ride. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:47:35 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: Achmed, please don't use the name of the Giant Space Turtle in vain, lest he rain his terrible wrath down upon your unbelieving head. In the Giant Space Turtle we trust. Praised be the name of Great A'Tuin, the Giant Space Turtle. :) |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:51:58 AM EDT
[#20]
Praise the Turtle and pass the Jack Daniel's.
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:52:20 AM EDT
[#21]
Quoted: Choose wisely. The stakes are eternally high. You spelled it wrong....I like my StEakes medium rare....thanks! |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:54:50 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted: And yet, God still loves all of you. Not in the mushy, sappy, puppy love sense, but in the sent His own Son to die for you sins, in payment for a debt He did not owe, that you could not pay. And all you have to do is ALLOW Him to pay it. Your call. Choose wisely. The stakes are eternally high. Uh huh. Let me put it this way. Say you're walking down the street one day and a man approaches you, offering you 500 acres of ocean-front property for only $1/acre. "Just write me a check for $500", he says, "and it's all yours". What would your reaction be? At the very least you would ask to see the property before paying for it. In other words, you would require proof before believing that the offer was true. What I'd like to know is how one can believe in the existence of god without a single shred of evidence while at the same time demanding proof in everyday decisions, like buying land. Yes, it really is that simple. Faith is nothing more than belief without proof. Faith is not noble, it's foolishness. -kill-9 |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:55:43 AM EDT
[#23]
You trust the media as a reliable source of information? I'd say it's 50/50 at best.
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:56:03 AM EDT
[#24]
Quoted: Let this be a lesson to me -- never post while sozzled. Oy. But I'll let it ride. On the contrary, please post more when sozzled. :) -kill-9 |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 8:02:04 AM EDT
[#25]
Columbine killers took their meds like good little boys and see what happened! Meds alone do not cause or prevent violent behavior.
BTW the 16yr old boy can be cured but only if he trusts in God. Considering that he had a previous criminal record and is now accussed of murder I doubt that he is a Believer like his parents. Shok |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 8:07:10 AM EDT
[#26]
Remember, kids, scrupulousity is a recognized psychiatric disorder under DSM4...
I do love space turtles (only in soup), but don't forget the Church of the Quivering Otter!!! P3[pyro][^][heavy] |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 8:11:15 AM EDT
[#27]
A man owned a house in a flood plain. A big storm was coming, and a higway patrol car stopped and told the man, "You should evacuate, the flood will sweep your house away and you will die."
The man replied, "God will save me." Later as the water began to rise, he was forced to go the second floor. A boat came along from the local emergency service. "Come with us, the flood will sweep away your house and you will die." The man replied, "God will save me." As the waters rose higher still, the man climbed on to his roof. A helicopter came along, and a man said, "Come with us, the flood will sweep away your house and you will die." The man replied, "God will save me." Well, soon thereafter, the flood swept the house away, and the man died. When he hit the Pearly Gates, he was steaming mad. He looked up God, and said, "I TRUSTED you to save me. I demonstrated faith over and over. But YOU let me die!" God replied, "Enough already. I sent a patrol car, I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter. What more could I do?" |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 8:27:55 AM EDT
[#28]
Kill-9 is comparing apples to oranges. Imagine your father paying $500 for beach front property and giving it to you for free. Would you accept this free gift? Absolutely!
God paid a ransom for you and will give you salvation for free. You've got nothing to lose by accepting God's free gift of forgivness and salvation. http://www.etm.org/BA.HTML Shok |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 8:32:24 AM EDT
[#29]
Quoted: I do love space turtles (in soup), but don't forget the Church of the Quivering Otter!!! Sacrilege! You'll pay dearly for that, infidel... [img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/newsaw.gif[/img] |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 9:16:56 AM EDT
[#30]
I think it's a shame that some Christians have about as much of a sense of humor as a frozen lima bean. No one here wants to hear you preach right now.
Cinch up your holy boxer shorts, close your eyes and say three times: [b]It's only a joke; God won't kill me if I laugh It's only a joke; God won't kill me if I laugh It's only a joke; God won't kill me if I laugh[/b] Either that or take another Ritalin. The last one you took must be wearing off. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 9:50:15 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted: I think it's a shame that some Christians have about as much of a sense of humor as a frozen lima bean. No one here wants to hear you preach right now. [b]It's only a joke; God won't kill me if I laugh [/b] . jarhead - Question: If I really beleive that the unsaved man goes to Hell, for eternity, in payment of his sins, and I do mean REALLY BELEIVE THAT, is his eternal damnation something I should laugh about??? (Mind you, I have NO IDEA about YOUR eternal destiny, I'm merely asking a generic question) . No one here wants to hear you preach right now. When would be better for you? I have an opening in my calendar Thrusday, Friday, Saturday this week as well as Sunday Monday Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. What works for you???? [:D] (That's "frozen lima bean" humor [:D] ) Seriously, my wife and I didn't want to hear the doctor tell us she has hodgkins disease, cancer. We were going on vacation like two days after he told us. So we could have waited for a more convenient time to listen to him. But If we waited too long, she would have been dead. People here are my brothers in arms. The Liberals, the Marxists, the Greenies, the Pinkos, the Whackoes and the Fruits have all made it clear that I am nothing to them. So, I go to my friends FIRST with a message from the "Doctor." Its meant in love, my friend. Even tho the news can be hard to take. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 2:49:58 PM EDT
[#32]
Quoted: Columbine killers took their meds like good little boys and see what happened! Meds alone do not cause or prevent violent behavior. Exactly. If the kid was taking his medication, it would have been blamed. Since he wasn't taking his medication, that is now being suggested as a contributing cause. How can one win? |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 3:43:24 PM EDT
[#33]
garandman, do you climb on your pulpit in a thread about 20 round magazines or airline security or blowing up tree stumps?
Why would you think that this is an appropriate venue for it? Do you believe that any of us here are serious about the Giant Space Turtle, or any of the other sarcastic remarks made in this thread? Really? Just another instance that proves my theory that sense of humor is in inverse proportion to religious zeal. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 4:05:40 PM EDT
[#34]
I saw something in a forum not to be named here that caught my attention. If I recall correctly, it went like this:
We're both atheists. I just believe in one god fewer than you. When you understand why you don't believe in all the other myriad gods out there, you'll understand why I don't believe in yours, too. Yeah, that's about it. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 4:37:17 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted: If I really beleive that the 'unshaved' man goes to Hell.... [:D] |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 5:03:58 PM EDT
[#36]
Quoted: I think it's a shame that some Christians have about as much of a sense of humor as a frozen lima bean. No one here wants to hear you preach right now. Cinch up your holy boxer shorts, close your eyes and say three times: [b]It's only a joke; God won't kill me if I laugh It's only a joke; God won't kill me if I laugh It's only a joke; God won't kill me if I laugh[/b] Either that or take another Ritalin. The last one you took must be wearing off. I think it is a shame that your sense of humor is not based on anything funny. No one wants to hear you mock the living God right now, or ever. Cinch up your unholy boxer shorts and get ready for your ride to hell is only one heart beat away. Of course then it will be too late for you. What a shame. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 6:48:35 PM EDT
[#37]
Originally Posted By [red]Crock[/red]: Cinch up your unholy boxer shorts and get ready for your ride to hell is only one heart beat away. See you there. I think self-righteous guys like you are in for a big surprise one day. Fitting handle, by the way. |
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Posted: 4/24/2002 7:35:40 PM EDT
[#38]
Can we get back to semi-naked cheerleaders now?
I'll start: The Satan's Cheerleaders! [img]http://www.satanscheerleaders.com/girls/11-01/7shot02color.jpg[/img] [url]http://www.satanscheerleaders.com/start_frames.htm[/url] |
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Posted: 4/25/2002 2:25:35 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: If I really beleive that the unsaved man goes to Hell, for eternity, in payment of his sins, and I do mean REALLY BELEIVE THAT, is his eternal damnation something I should laugh about??? If I swear by God that I REALLY am looking forward to eternal damnation in Hell, will you please accept my decision and stop preaching? DScott, please continue. |
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Posted: 4/25/2002 5:43:33 AM EDT
[#40]
Damn!
[img]http://www.satanscheerleaders.com/girls/suppose2.jpg[/img] The devil made me do it! |
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:12:17 AM EDT
[#41]
Quoted: garandman, do you climb on your pulpit in a thread about 20 round magazines or airline security or blowing up tree stumps? If I find threads in the "20 round magazine" forum, or the "airline security" forum, or the "tree stump" forum, I try to limit myself to the type of content the FORUM indicates. Same with the "General" forum. I was apparently under the misconception that "general" means "general." [:D] (more FLB - frozen lima bean - humor [}:D] ) That whole Clinton thing with "is" made me take a hard look at what words mean. [:D] Why would you think that this is an appropriate venue for it? Read the thread opener, then read my initial response, and then tell me if my initial response was inappropriate. Achmed SET the "venue." Do you believe that any of us here are serious about the Giant Space Turtle, or any of the other sarcastic remarks made in this thread? Really? Just another instance that proves my theory that sense of humor is in inverse proportion to religious zeal. Its kind of a Catch-22 for us. While we know you are not serious, this is NOT the kinda thing we feel comfortable joking around about. Lemme illustrate - Would you tell "Dubya" jokes in the presence of the President at ANY venue, or would that be "inappropriate" is ANY "venue?" (to mock him, even "jokingly," in his presence??) Since we are ALWAYS in the presence of God, is God deserving of less respect than President Bush?? On the other hand, I don't want to be anal about it. So its a balancing act I try to achieve. My MAIN interest was in responding to Achmed, not the followers of the "Great Space Turtle." |
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:18:54 AM EDT
[#42]
Quoted: No one wants to hear you mock the living God right now, or ever. Actually I love to hear people mock gods...living or dead gods, pink purple or green gods....gods with long hair, gods with 8 arms.....I am an equal opportunity god mocker.... Edited to add bluish purple 10 armed god with a bad hair doo. |
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:23:29 AM EDT
[#43]
[img]http://www.maxwell.syr.edu/southasiacenter/Newsletter/99Spring/Kali.gif[/img]
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:27:07 AM EDT
[#44]
What goes around, comes around, I imagine...
The girls say, "Rah, rah!" [img]http://www.satanscheerleaders.com/girls/pompomtrick.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:27:11 AM EDT
[#45]
Quoted: Its kind of a Catch-22 for us. While we know you are not serious, this is NOT the kinda thing we feel comfortable joking around about. Then just click that little "X" in the upper right corner of your screen and it all goes away. Don't assume some kind of pained, pursed-lips expression of disapproval and try to set us right. Regardless of your intentions, it doesn't speak well of you when you can't even smile at what is so obviously a joke. Would you tell "Dubya" jokes in the presence of the President at ANY venue, or would that be "inappropriate" is ANY "venue?" (to mock him, even "jokingly," in his presence??) Since we are ALWAYS in the presence of God, is God deserving of less respect than President Bush?? It happens all the time at dinners he attends. The difference is that the people around the President have a sense of humor and you apparently, in spite of your use of smileys, do not. On the other hand, I don't want to be anal about it. So its a balancing act I try to achieve. Ooooooooooookayy. [rolleyes] |
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:28:41 AM EDT
[#46]
Uh oh! Now you've done it! It's ... (um what's it's name, Murph?), evil destroyer thing!!
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:30:15 AM EDT
[#47]
It's Kali.
With her righteous, holy necklace of tony orlando heads. |
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:33:35 AM EDT
[#48]
[img]http://www.people.virginia.edu/~pm9k/pop/kali.jpg[/img]
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:36:33 AM EDT
[#49]
[img]http://www.mahakali.com/large1/photox16.jpg[/img]
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Posted: 4/25/2002 6:48:10 AM EDT
[#50]
I prefer not to make fun of people who posess the singular ability to send me to Hell.
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