Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 7/24/2002 6:01:38 PM EST
My 30 year-old great-nephew just called to ask for some advice, and I couldn't come-up with anything to help him. After getting laid-off from five EE jobs in four years, he decided to become a preacher. A month ago, he moved to Nebraska to preach at a small church. He preached his first (first at his own church) sermon three Sundays ago and is living with a family that attends the church. Their three month-old daughter passed away Monday, and the mother asked him to do the funeral. It's his first funeral. Also, the mother has requested that the casket remain open until it is lowered into the ground. He wanted to know how I would keep from losing it (crying and choking-up) while standing beside the (open) casket. He also asked what I thought he should say. He said they went over several good funeral scripts in seminary and practised them, but obviously that won't be good enough for this situation. What can you say to comfort the family? None of my children survived, so I've been there before, but it wasn't like I learned anything from it. There isn't anything I know to say to make it better. If I was honest I'd say for the rest of your life you'll be more bitter and your world will be darker. No parent should ever outlive a child. Every time you think about your daughter, the world will be a little less desirable place to stay in. No, honesty isn't the right course. Often when reading some of the juvenile posts here, I feel "old and wise." Now, I feel like a wide-eyed innocent child. Any advice? Any words of wisdom? Anything? He asked me to call him back at 8 AM (forgot to ask if that was my timezone or his), so I have to come-up with something. Poor kid is getting a trial by fire. I've helped him out many times before, but this time, I'm useless so far. It's a 20 hour drive away so I can't be there either.z
Link Posted: 7/24/2002 6:18:32 PM EST
Just that they're in a far better place now than in this world. That has to be very hard to experience. I'm sorry.
Link Posted: 7/24/2002 7:06:33 PM EST
Sorry to hear of your loss, zoom. As a father of two, I don't know what I'd do if my children didn't all outlive me. I can't think of anything more painful. WhiskeyBravo's advice is all I can think of. If you're the parents, it would be hard not to be angry. God allows nature to take its course, but he still loves us. Good luck to your nephew.
Link Posted: 7/25/2002 5:42:55 AM EST
Hi, Z. Sorry to hear of the little girls very untimely passing. I suppose that this is too late but my advice to him would be to just be himself. That is, if he feels like crying he should go ahead. First of all, he won't be the only one. Even though he thinks that he should be strong for the congregation, They will probably appreciate his honesty. Good luck to him. It ain't easy.
Link Posted: 7/25/2002 3:02:07 PM EST
Thanks for the replies. He said it was a small grave-side service for only the family. There were about 20 family members at the service. He said he was fine until they got out of the car to walk to the grave for the service. He said he broke-down and wasn't able to say a thing. He said nobody said a thing. Finally after a few minutes, the mortician and his assistant lowered the casket and shoveled dirt over it while everyone just sat. When they finished, each family left without saying anything to anyone. A silent funeral sounds strange, but when there's nothing you can say, it seems somberly appropriate. When I talked to my great-nephew, he seemed frustrated that he wasn't able to do anything, but I tried to reassure him that he'll do better next time. The hardest one is in past.z
Link Posted: 7/25/2002 3:23:16 PM EST
Originally Posted By zoom: My 30 year-old great-nephew just called to ask for some advice, and I couldn't come-up with anything to help him. After getting laid-off from five EE jobs in four years, he decided to become a preacher.
View Quote
Now THERE"S a good reason to become a preacher!! I assume this is a Christian church?? We believe the child has an auto-pass to the throne. On that level, it's cause for joy. WE are the one's who miss the departed. Kid is in a better place....
Link Posted: 7/25/2002 4:02:49 PM EST
A thought may be to explain that there are many reasons to be on this earth. One reason that I believe we are hear on this earth is to bring glory to God, in fact it is the main reason we are hear. IMO This baby girl glorified God.
Top Top