Torn scrotum? No problem. Where's my stapler?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Torn scrotum? No problem. Where's my stapler? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:01:42 PM EDT

A masturbating machinist catches his scrotum in a machine, tears it open, staples it back together and goes back to work. Three days later, he decides he need to go to the Dr.

Linky

Ouch. My boys are sore just reading this.

ETA: No graphic photos/video in link. There is a medical diagram of a normal male member/sack.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:03:55 PM EDT

Not clicking on link....

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:04:01 PM EDT

I for one, am NOT clicking the link...

BSW

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:04:49 PM EDT

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:05:46 PM EDT

You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:06:56 PM EDT

I heard that story a long time ago, I didn't think it was true.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:07:21 PM EDT

damn....damn...

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:07:47 PM EDT

The article is from Snopes.

No disgusting/inappropriate photos.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:08:25 PM EDT

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

You've seen that, too?

I'm with you. The article didn't even blip my dayum-o-meter. The BME Pain Olympics feature the most fucked up people I have ever seen, and will likely ever see. It scarred me for life.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:08:33 PM EDT

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:08:42 PM EDT

That guy is tough......and stupid.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:08:47 PM EDT

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

NOT AGAIN!!! Please, no more smoothie videos...

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:09:03 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

You've seen that, too?

I'm with you. The article didn't even blip my dayum-o-meter. The BME Pain Olympics feature the most fucked up people I have ever seen, and will likely ever see. It scarred me for life.

+1

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:09:07 PM EDT

We had a guy attempt to remove his scrtum with a set of finger nail clippers once.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:10:45 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

NOT AGAIN!!! Please, no more smoothie videos...

Its not a smoothie video. Much worse.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:12:03 PM EDT

Damn, that had to leave a mark.

I know this isn't inline with the OP but as far as 'gross' goes it pretty much fits. Yesterday at work, yea...it was a little slow...we checked out YouTube. If you like the gross stuff, or want to make someone else puke you have to search for 'bot fly' and 'horse pus' on YouTube.

That bot fly thing still gives me the willies.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:16:03 PM EDT

I call fake on the BME Pain Olympics video

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:16:05 PM EDT

That remimnds me of the scene in Idiocracy where the doctors are fixing up the guy's naughty bits

Doctor: "Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krenske and Mueller, he should regain full reproductive function again."

Clevon: (in background) "Get your hands off my junk!"

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:16:52 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

You've seen that, too?

I'm with you. The article didn't even blip my dayum-o-meter. The BME Pain Olympics feature the most fucked up people I have ever seen, and will likely ever see. It scarred me for life.

+1

+2

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:21:43 PM EDT

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

I have lost my soul long ago. I laughed when I read the part where he got thrown through the air

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:22:40 PM EDT

Quoted:
I heard that story a long time ago, I didn't think it was true.

Apparenently the same doc saw him a few years later for something unrelated. So yes, it really happened.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:27:20 PM EDT

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:31:43 PM EDT

When I get an ache in my testicle it hurts like a motherfucker, I can't believe this guy ripped his shit off and went back to work. Now thats one tough SOB.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:34:58 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

NOT AGAIN!!! Please, no more smoothie videos...

Its not a smoothie video. Much worse.

I just googled the video, i made it till some balls were chopped off with a hatchet, and the guy wasnt all the way through so he put more pressure on the hatchet with his free hand to get through.

OMFG scarred for life.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:36:14 PM EDT

no way im clickin' on that

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:37:05 PM EDT

Think he was able to finish up?

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:40:03 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

NOT AGAIN!!! Please, no more smoothie videos...

Its not a smoothie video. Much worse.

I just googled the video, i made it till some balls were chopped off with a hatchet, and the guy wasnt all the way through so he put more pressure on the hatchet with his free hand to get through.

OMFG scarred for life.

Why in the holy hell, after having the benefit of several people telling you that something seriously fucked up their shit, would you go LOOK FOR IT?

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:44:48 PM EDT

Here are the post-game highlights:

"The left testis had been avulsed and was missing."

".....he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the
air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis,
and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and
resumed work."

I'm not sure if he is incredibly moronic, hardcore - or both.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:48:08 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

NOT AGAIN!!! Please, no more smoothie videos...

Its not a smoothie video. Much worse.

I just googled the video, i made it till some balls were chopped off with a hatchet, and the guy wasnt all the way through so he put more pressure on the hatchet with his free hand to get through.

OMFG scarred for life.

Why in the holy hell, after having the benefit of several people telling you that something seriously fucked up their shit, would you go LOOK FOR IT?

Curiosity killed your innocence

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:49:55 PM EDT

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

Like lawyers have a soul...
<BR>

(you know I love you, man)

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:52:09 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

Like lawyers have a soul...

(you know I love you, man)

Heh. Touché, sir.

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:53:55 PM EDT

wasn't that originally on the darwin awards?

Posted: 5/30/2008 2:59:10 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

NOT AGAIN!!! Please, no more smoothie videos...

Its not a smoothie video. Much worse.

I just googled the video, i made it till some balls were chopped off with a hatchet, and the guy wasnt all the way through so he put more pressure on the hatchet with his free hand to get through.

OMFG scarred for life.

Why in the holy hell, after having the benefit of several people telling you that something seriously fucked up their shit, would you go LOOK FOR IT?

Curiosity killed your innocence

I thought seeing kiddy shit like goatse, tubgirl, and all the other crazy internet fads over the years prepared me for this video.

NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THIS VIDEO, NOT A DAMN THING.

My balls are tingling right now from what i just saw.

DONT LOOK FOR IT, DONT WATCH IT.

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:01:48 PM EDT

The moral of the story is,

Masturbation+machineshop=OUCH!!!!

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:04:09 PM EDT

Sounds like a Jackass Steve'o story.

Yaaaa Duuude!

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:07:43 PM EDT

Here's the whole enchilada:

This is from Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, July 1991 in the Unusual Case section. This is not an urban legend, it is a true case history.

Scrotum Self-Repair

by William A. Morton Jr, MD

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.

After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were the one inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard.

We X-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexaclorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning. The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present. Through-and-through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site and the the skin was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me. An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work. I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

William A. Morton is a retired urologist residing in West Chester, Pennsylvania.

I guess it was a good enough feeling that he'd give his left nut to do that!

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:09:55 PM EDT

I feel sorry for the poor sap who ended up finding the missing testicle.

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:15:07 PM EDT

Quoted:
I feel sorry for the poor sap who ended up finding the missing testicle.

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:35:27 PM EDT

Quoted:
I thought seeing kiddy shit like goatse, tubgirl, and all the other crazy internet fads over the years prepared me for this video.

NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THIS VIDEO, NOT A DAMN THING.

My balls are tingling right now from what i just saw.

DONT LOOK FOR IT, DONT WATCH IT.

I had the Google search page up in another window till I got to the part in red.

Call me a pansy, but I went ahead and closed the window.

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:40:09 PM EDT

Shit Steve-O became a millionaire doing that!!

called 'the butterfly'

staplegun to nutsack to thigh

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:42:23 PM EDT

Quoted:
I heard that story a long time ago, I didn't think it was true.

Yeah...............like 25 years ago.........at least.
It made me cringe then , and still does.

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:47:30 PM EDT

At least he didn't nail his testicle to a roof

Posted: 5/30/2008 3:52:57 PM EDT

Quoted:

The moral of the story is,

Masturbation+machineshop=OUCH!!!!

Well.........not always.........

Ol' Jack the machinist
had an inconel penis
and he polished it with emery cloth.

One day he's a scrubbin
his shiny lil' nubbin
when all of a sudden , he gets off!

He sprang from his mill
in an orgasmic thrill
The look on his face was ecstatic.

But when his spoof hit the part
Jack exclaimed " Damn I'm smart!
This stuff works better than Tap Magic !"

Posted: 5/30/2008 4:02:34 PM EDT

Quoted:
I thought seeing kiddy shit like goatse, tubgirl, and all the other crazy internet fads over the years prepared me for this video.

NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THIS VIDEO, NOT A DAMN THING.

My balls are tingling right now from what i just saw.

DONT LOOK FOR IT, DONT WATCH IT.

Don't touch the red button!

Yew shoodn'a dun at. Ee's jest a boy.

Posted: 5/30/2008 4:04:37 PM EDT

Fascinating!

Posted: 5/30/2008 4:21:59 PM EDT

After you've seen pictures of a man cutting his penis up into little pieces or a dead woman's eye plucked out and stuffed into her vagina, nothing genitalia-related really phases you anymore.

Posted: 5/30/2008 4:22:14 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
I thought seeing kiddy shit like goatse, tubgirl, and all the other crazy internet fads over the years prepared me for this video.

NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THIS VIDEO, NOT A DAMN THING.

My balls are tingling right now from what i just saw.

DONT LOOK FOR IT, DONT WATCH IT.

Don't touch the red button!

Yew shoodn'a dun at. Ee's jest a boy.

If you want a good laugh, check out Youtube's most conspicuously gay guy (Peron75) whose reaction is similar to mine (except I'm not ghey, nor as pretty, and I think I screamed a bit louder).

You go from being uncomfortably amused, to aghast, to horrified, to utterly broken down as a human being.

Ugh.

Posted: 5/30/2008 5:14:52 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

You've seen that, too?

I'm with you. The article didn't even blip my dayum-o-meter. The BME Pain Olympics feature the most fucked up people I have ever seen, and will likely ever see. It scarred me for life.

What is this pain olympics you speak of?

Posted: 5/30/2008 5:17:05 PM EDT

Quoted:

Quoted:
You know, I should cringe like a little pussy after reading that.

But two weeks ago, one of my so-called friends sent me a shock video to watch called the "BME Pain Olympics."

It was the most horrid and vile exhibit of self mutilation I have ever seen and it plainly cost me some of my soul, because reading the article linked didn't even make me blink.

You've seen that, too?

I'm with you. The article didn't even blip my dayum-o-meter. The BME Pain Olympics feature the most fucked up people I have ever seen, and will likely ever see. It scarred me for life.

What is this pain olympics you speak of?

Nothing, carry on.

ETA: It's for your own good.

Posted: 5/30/2008 5:23:47 PM EDT

I never realized that heavy machinery could make some guys so horny that they needed to jerk off. Myself, I can't say I've ever been sexually attracted to electric lathes or hydraulic presses or anything.

Go figure I guess

.

Posted: 5/30/2008 5:29:07 PM EDT

Quoted:
I never realized that heavy machinery could make some guys so horny that they needed to jerk off. Myself, I can't say I've ever been sexually attracted to electric lathes or hydraulic presses or anything.

Go figure I guess

.

If you become attracted to a band saw, get help before you do something irreversible.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Torn scrotum? No problem. Where's my stapler? (Page 1 of 2)

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