Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:12:26 PM EDT

video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2643835654848098127

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:13:28 PM EDT

[#1]

hmm, link doesn't work for me for some reason, goes straight to google search

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:15:23 PM EDT

[#2]

That was kinda lame.

Kinda, meaning really lame.

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:15:41 PM EDT

[#3]

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:18:08 PM EDT

[#4]

Ah, come on. I thought it was funny!

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:19:22 PM EDT

[#5]

Ghey

But so was the first top gun.

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:20:39 PM EDT

[#6]

funny

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:25:46 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
That was kinda lame.

Kinda, meaning really lame.

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:29:50 PM EDT

[#8]

Posted: 2/24/2006 6:36:35 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
hmm, link doesn't work for me for some reason, goes straight to google search

Try this: www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/01/barebacktopgun.html

That was fucking hilarious even though I've seen it posted before.

Posted: 2/24/2006 8:11:39 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Ghey

But so was the first top gun.

Well, there were enough queers IN the movie (the actors)! It should have been. In fact... the top (IMO) 3 characters were played by gays or lesbians....

Although I STILL don't WANT to "claim" Cruise....

Posted: 2/24/2006 8:12:53 PM EDT

[#11]

DUPE

Posted: 2/24/2006 8:13:49 PM EDT

[#12]

Iceman to Maverick;"You can fly my tail, anytime!"

Posted: 2/24/2006 8:15:51 PM EDT

[#13]

I HATE TOP GUN!!!

And I'm in the Air Force and working to be a fighter pilot!

Why do I hate Top Gun?

Because every uneducated motherfucker on earth thinks Top Gun is a movie about the Air Force. They ALWAYS call my "Mav" and talk about me landing on carriers. They try to correct ME when I tell them the AF doesnt fly off carriers, and that Top Gun was a movie about the Navy. I HATE TOP GUN!

Posted: 2/24/2006 8:19:07 PM EDT

[#14]

Posted: 2/24/2006 8:29:14 PM EDT

[#15]

Just when I think the Brokeback parodies are getting old, another one makes me laugh out loud.

Hilarious.

- BG

Posted: 2/24/2006 8:42:10 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
I HATE TOP GUN!!!

And I'm in the Air Force and working to be a fighter pilot!

Why do I hate Top Gun?

Because every uneducated motherfucker on earth thinks Top Gun is a movie about the Air Force. They ALWAYS call my "Mav" and talk about me landing on carriers. They try to correct ME when I tell them the AF doesnt fly off carriers, and that Top Gun was a movie about the Navy. I HATE TOP GUN!

I wouldnt want to be associated with far superior Naval Aviators either.

Posted: 2/26/2006 8:10:08 AM EDT

[#17]

Quentin Tarantino (Sid) on Top Gun www.imdb.com/title/tt0111218/quotes

Memorable Quotes from Sleep with Me (1994)

Sid: You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.

Duane: Oh, come on.

Sid: Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.

Duane: It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.

Sid: It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You've got Maverick, all right? He's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line, all right? And you've got Iceman, and all his crew. They're gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they're saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.

Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?

Sid: Kelly McGillis, she's heterosexuality. She's saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They're saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what's going on throughout that whole movie... He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they're going to have sex, you know, they're just kind of sitting back, he's takin' a shower and everything. They don't have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She's like, "What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?" Next scene, next scene you see her, she's in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She's got the cap on, she's got the aviator glasses, she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy's going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I'll do that through subterfuge, I'm gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it. Okay, now let me just ask you - I'm gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she's like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right? All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they're beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it's over, and they fucking land, and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!" And what does Maverick say? "You can ride mine!" Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin' A, man!

Posted: 2/26/2006 8:48:38 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Quentin Tarantino (Sid) on Top Gun www.imdb.com/title/tt0111218/quotes

Memorable Quotes from Sleep with Me (1994)

Sid: You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.

Duane: Oh, come on.

Sid: Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.

Duane: It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.

Sid: It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You've got Maverick, all right? He's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line, all right? And you've got Iceman, and all his crew. They're gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they're saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.

Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?

Sid: Kelly McGillis, she's heterosexuality. She's saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They're saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what's going on throughout that whole movie... He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they're going to have sex, you know, they're just kind of sitting back, he's takin' a shower and everything. They don't have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She's like, "What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?" Next scene, next scene you see her, she's in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She's got the cap on, she's got the aviator glasses, she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy's going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I'll do that through subterfuge, I'm gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it. Okay, now let me just ask you - I'm gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she's like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right? All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they're beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it's over, and they fucking land, and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!" And what does Maverick say? "You can ride mine!" Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin' A, man!

Maddox on Top Gun -

So here are five of the shittiest movies that everyone loves:

1. Top Gun
For those of you who don't remember, "Top Gun" was the movie about a bunch of guys who stand around high-fiving each other for about 90 minutes. The movie focuses on some loser named "Maverick" who penetrates deep into the coveted veil of the top gun academy of smug, sexually frustrated aviators. I know many of you reading this will probably think I'm exaggerating when I say this (since I exaggerate everything, except for my manliness which is enviable), but there were no fewer than 500 shower scenes in this movie. The wardrobe for this film must have consisted of a towel, a jump suit, and 50 pages of gay innuendo, because the rest of the time Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer were walking around naked eyeing each other's packages.

Then as if the director didn't think all the high-fiving and shower scenes were suggestive enough, there was a gratuitous scene in which all the guys got oiled up and played volleyball. Every few minutes I half-expected to see Cruise and Kilmer lock lips to a ballad of "It's Raining Men:"

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron

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