Long Island, NY additions:

11) you buy offroad gear just to profile at the mall parking lot knowing you're never going to leave the pavement.

12) you go out driving in a snowstorm at 70+mph confident in the abilities of your 4x4 only to spin out and end up grill first in the woods.

all the parking spaces available in the parking lot are only big enough for a Kia

[b]10) The truck will accelerate in other conditions besides only running downhill.[/b]

my rusty s10 is wearing 4 oversize, carbide studded snow tires, it's carrying 320 lbs of salt in the bed for traction, has a slipping automatic transmission an will STILL burn rubber.

[b]9) You don't understand what people mean when they talk of 'warrantees'.[/b]

owned it for almost 7 years and it has had an enviable service record. 1 don't need no stinkin' warranty!

[b]8) You are disappointed because 'split vinyl seats' apparently aren't installed in new trucks.[/b]

not only is my viynl bench seat split to beat hell, it's cold in the winter and hot and sticky in the summer.

[b]7) The fuel economy isn't dependant on the temperature.[/b]

i get terrible fuel economy. that little v6 drinks gas like a 7-litre v-8. i get a christmas card from the saud family.

[b]6) The paint color is the same over the whole truck.[/b]

my rust holes don't need no paint.

[b]5) All four tires and all four rims match.[/b]

well yeah! and in typical billhilly fashion, they are worth more than my truck.

[b]4) The spare tire matches the other four tires.[/b]

believe it or not, since 1988 that spare has never been used.

[b]3) All the lugnuts match.[/b]

now that's odd...mine still do.

[b]2) You realize that all the dashlights and gauges are supposed to function.[/b]

my dash lights have never worked since i bought the truck. the gages work just fine, though.

[b]1) You attempt to file insurance claims for every time somebody else's door gets too close to your sheetmetal, ie, within 5 miles.[/b]

nah! i just toss more appliances in the bed for use as bulletfest targets!!!