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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/30/2005 9:01:45 PM EDT
Might be a right of passage but I was never really shown as a child…

Tonight the family and I are enjoying a good family movie and I’m feeling a little gassy from going out to dinner. We don’t get out often but enjoy it when we do. Split a humus plate and pepperoni Swiss burger with the wife tonight so I’m starting to peel paint off the wall.

I was told to light a match or candle if I were to continue to participate in the movie watching. I lit a candle and proceeded to watch the movie. Along comes the urge and I’m thinking: Hey, Jeffrey hasn’t seen a fart lit! He’s 9-years-old and sharp as a tack so I figure, why not. Back my ass up to this cute little votive candleholder and let-er-rip.

Sweet mother of God! It has been years since I have pulled this off. I saw that I completely and instantaneously blew out the candle and THEN was told a slow, lingering, blue flame rose from my ass and proceeded up my pajamas. A blue flame about 6” in diameter engulfed my flannel pj crack area. I was obviously concerned and quickly patted any residual flame that might have continued.

My nine-year-old was in complete and total awe. THAT WAS TOTALLY AWSOME DAD! WOW. (Several minuets of giggling and wow ensued) Wife was concerned my insides were ablaze as I was too. A quick trip to the bathroom and a mirror check confirmed a few singed hairs. All in all a good fire science lesson. Hope this is of some humor or help for others…

Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:03:34 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:05:17 PM EDT
Next time, record the event on video.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:07:58 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:10:14 PM EDT
I damn near shit my pants I laughed so hard. That's sick man. Help I can't breathe OMG that's so fucking funny.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:13:17 PM EDT
You know your a redneck when .........
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:14:00 PM EDT
tHAT CRACKED ME UP.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:16:15 PM EDT
OMFG I can't stp laughing!
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:17:23 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:27:46 PM EDT
I hope he doesn't try.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:30:10 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:33:50 PM EDT
Originally Posted By OrARGB:
Might be a right of passage but I was never really shown as a child…

Tonight the family and I are enjoying a good family movie and I’m feeling a little gassy from going out to dinner. We don’t get out often but enjoy it when we do. Split a humus plate and pepperoni Swiss burger with the wife tonight so I’m starting to peel paint off the wall.

I was told to light a match or candle if I were to continue to participate in the movie watching. I lit a candle and proceeded to watch the movie. Along comes the urge and I’m thinking: Hey, Jeffrey hasn’t seen a fart lit! He’s 9-years-old and sharp as a tack so I figure, why not. Back my ass up to this cute little votive candleholder and let-er-rip.

Sweet mother of God! It has been years since I have pulled this off. I saw that I completely and instantaneously blew out the candle and THEN was told a slow, lingering, blue flame rose from my ass and proceeded up my pajamas. A blue flame about 6” in diameter engulfed my flannel pj crack area. I was obviously concerned and quickly patted any residual flame that might have continued.

My nine-year-old was in complete and total awe. THAT WAS TOTALLY AWSOME DAD! WOW. (Several minuets of giggling and wow ensued) Wife was concerned my insides were ablaze as I was too. A quick trip to the bathroom and a mirror check confirmed a few singed hairs. All in all a good fire science lesson. Hope this is of some humor or help for others…






Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:37:22 PM EDT
This thread is useless without...


Oh, never mind. I don't want pictures.

Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:39:45 PM EDT
Man, that was hilarious. What are you going to do if the other kids hear about it and ask for a live demo?
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 9:42:15 PM EDT
Hold my beer.......
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:03:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheCommissioner:
Next time, record the event on video.




www.thatvideosite.com/view/739.html
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:09:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By napalm:

Originally Posted By TheCommissioner:
Next time, record the event on video.




www.thatvideosite.com/view/739.html



Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:11:01 PM EDT
And Tomorrow

"Hey Dad, show my friend Tommy how you can..."


Later at Thanksgiving

"Then out of Dad's butt came this huge>>>"
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:11:18 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:13:29 PM EDT
You're a good father

As a child:

Dad: Look what I have, fireworks!
Me: But mom said we can't play with them.
Dad: Mom isn't here...
Me: ALRIGHT!
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:13:51 PM EDT

Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:15:18 PM EDT
that si funny,

In town here a Kid was showing off (and drunk of course) and yanked his pants down to "blow fire" forhis friends.

Lost all the hair on his ass, as well as his balls. Got startled fell down and slammed his ass down on the candle.


Emts took him to the hospital, burns on his penis, scrotum, and buttocks (wax splashing I assume, maybe also from the gas burning?) and he had the candle stick in his ass...........


how the hell do you live that down? (happened at a lutheran college, friends of mine lived just down the hallway in res from this brain surgeon)


Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:15:40 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:29:22 PM EDT
Funny shit.

I've had so much gas lately I could probably power a car for a week with the amount of gas I produced. Didn't think of lighting it up though.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:33:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalPenguin:
my friend litt a fart and imploded...





You Canuks cant do anything right.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:49:22 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:49:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By paenutz:

Originally Posted By TacticalPenguin:
my friend litt a fart and imploded...





You Canuks cant do anything right.



Wasn't any friend of mine, even if it had been, after super stupidity like that he wouldn't have been, do shit liek that with your own ass, what woudl you do if you found a rifle round in my house? (or knife, rifle, acid, etc.?)
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 10:57:22 PM EDT
Another, “Here, hold my beer…” moment of fame.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 11:00:28 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 11:02:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalPenguin:
what woudl you do if you found a rifle round in my house? (or knife, rifle, acid, etc.?)




lol .. what?
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 11:11:55 PM EDT
Did you ask your son to hold your beer for you while you did that?
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 11:19:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By paenutz:

Originally Posted By TacticalPenguin:
what woudl you do if you found a rifle round in my house? (or knife, rifle, acid, etc.?)




lol .. what?




damn i am tired, meant to say what would he have done hadhe found such things in my house (had he been hypothetically in my house)


at the time I had 3 gallons of Nitric acid, 4 gallons of sulphuric acid, 2 gallons of phosphoric acid, as well as thousands of rounds of ammunition. And several rifles. Stupid enough to shove a candle up your ass, (even accidentally) stupid enough to blow yourself or someone else up
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 1:13:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/1/2005 1:14:14 AM EDT by darealickt]
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 6:42:33 AM EDT
And now I see the light!

Had a quick talk with my son this moring about the importance of not releasing the results of our experiment with everyone.
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 7:03:03 AM EDT
OrARGB

is your screen name synonymous with the sound your ass made when it exploded????


Link Posted: 10/1/2005 7:07:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By OrARGB:
THAT WAS TOTALLY AWSOME DAD! WOW. (Several minuets of giggling and wow ensued)




The best part of the whole post!! LMFAO!!
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 12:15:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By paenutz:

Originally Posted By TacticalPenguin:
my friend litt a fart and imploded...





You Canuks cant do anything right.



Yeah, but he blowed up real good.

Larry
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 12:22:24 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 12:26:04 PM EDT
I thought this would be about banging a ugly chick so your friend could get some
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 12:51:32 PM EDT
*wiping tears from eyes* HAHAHAHAHA

OMG that's friggen funny !

Nice !
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 1:05:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/1/2005 1:05:25 PM EDT by thompsondd]
You owe me a new keyboard!

Dinner with the family: $40
Rental Movie: $5
Candle: $0.50
Showing your kid how you can blow BLUE FLAMES out of your butt: FUCKING PRICELESS!!



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