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Posted: 2/1/2011 9:39:43 AM EDT
Meet "Jack"**


If you think that size matters, then you DON'T KNOW JACK!! So WHAT if he weighs less than 7 pounds?! So WHAT if infant size diapers fit a little loose on him??

NO, IT MATTERS NOT!!

For he will kick your ass nightly, and I do mean night after night after night, from 11:30pm - 6:30am, you WILL be the recipient of his merciless hourly beat downs. You WILL find yourself in a thick, zombie-like fog of sleep deprivation and exhaustion. You WILL have two black eyes from the dark circles he will paint on your face, while he giggles and coo-coos at your suffering. And yet you WILL find yourself inexplicably drawn to him like a neodidium magnet to a refrigerator ("magnets...how do they work??"), regardless of the unending punishment he heaps upon your hapless soul. Beaten wife syndrome is mere sniffles when compared to this viscious cycle of one-way love repaid with gratuitous abuse.

Oh, and he WILL teach you to have new levels of respect for your fairer half, who will take 10 times as many beatdowns as you, and yet still function twice as better as you.

And regardless; none of it matters, for it's all worth it


**This is NOT a picture of my infant, by the way. Too many wackos out there for that, lol.

Link Posted: 2/1/2011 1:56:55 PM EDT
I had to laugh. Been there/done that ... had my sleepy ass kicked many nights by a young'n 3 pounds 15oz at birth
who's now 21 and almost 6ft tall.
Best to the family.

Stay safe
Link Posted: 2/1/2011 7:00:18 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sparkyCG:
I had to laugh. Been there/done that ... had my sleepy ass kicked many nights by a young'n 3 pounds 15oz at birth
who's now 21 and almost 6ft tall.
Best to the family.

Stay safe


Omg, that must have been scary as hell; glad to hear it worked out fine...

And thanks! Oh, look, it's just about the time for me to submit to the ass kickings...
Link Posted: 2/1/2011 7:23:17 PM EDT
I would give them a late night feeding a big bottle of warm milk about 12 midnight, turn the lights off, they be a snoring till about 5-6 am
Link Posted: 2/1/2011 7:24:32 PM EDT
Originally Posted By cobra-ak:
I would give them a late night feeding a big bottle of warm milk about 12 midnight, turn the lights off, they be a snoring till about 5-6 am


You're a lucky, lucky man..
Link Posted: 2/2/2011 2:33:53 AM EDT
Originally Posted By KeepShooting:
Originally Posted By cobra-ak:
I would give them a late night feeding a big bottle of warm milk about 12 midnight, turn the lights off, they be a snoring till about 5-6 am


You're a lucky, lucky man..
Timing

Link Posted: 2/2/2011 3:44:32 AM EDT
"Size doesn't matter!"

What a crock of shit. Wait until that 7 lber gives up his first deuce, you'll find out size matters!!!
Link Posted: 2/2/2011 4:56:05 AM EDT
The first 2 to 4 months are hell, but it gets better.

My advice is to "cluster feed" the little one before bed. Feed the little tike till he is ready to burst and you will get more sleep.
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