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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 2/6/2002 12:52:14 PM EDT
I think it's time we came clean about the capabilities of this wepon with Feinstein, et al. We should all write various anti-gun lobby members a letter and outline these capabilities. It should be noted that the gun, with the proper ammuntion, can do the following: (1) Take a satellite out of orbit. (2) Sink a ballistic missle submarine at depths below 500 meters. (3) Sink Nimitz class carriers from distances of 25 miles. (4) A semiauto version of the rifle can easily down a full squadron on F-15s flying on full afterburner. (5) Reveal that recently declassified documents show that all the Iraqi tanks destroyed in the Gulf War were taken out by a single .50BMG sniper. (6) Reveal that recently declassified documents show that an atomic bomb was NOT dropped on Hiroshima. The city was actually laid waste with a single Barret 50 fired from the Enola Gay. I can no longer deal with my guilt in withholding this information. Help me get the truth out about the 50!
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 1:17:24 PM EDT
You forgot to mention that the Passenger Pigeon was rendered extinct by the .50BMG in its infamous 'birding load'. The entire active population of Passenger Pigeons, estimated at six BILLION birds, were taken out in a few short years by ten people with birding loads in their Barretts, shooting just ten rounds each on alternating weekends. A .50BMG round, when fired into a herd of cattle, will kill, bleed, field dress, skin, hang, butcher, and package the entire herd for retail sale. A .50BMG round, if fired into the wrong spot on the San Andreas Fault, could cause the western side of Californistan to slide into the sea. Make sure you've staked out your claim to the new oceanfront property beforehand! The craters on the moon were caused by astronauts shooting at the moon with their Barrett rifles back in the 60's. Sunspots are actually holes left in the sun by the .50 rounds that missed the moon. CJ
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 1:28:32 PM EDT
Global Warming is caused entirely by the waste-heat of .50BMG rifles. The Ozone Layer isn't being depleted; it's being perforated by all of the .50 rounds on the way to the moon. Or, as cmjohnson points out, to the sun. It wasn't a cigar that Monica used, it was a...no. Even *I* can't visualise that.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 1:43:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By cmjohnson: You forgot to mention that the Passenger Pigeon was rendered extinct by the .50BMG in its infamous 'birding load'. The entire active population of Passenger Pigeons, estimated at six BILLION birds, were taken out in a few short years by ten people with birding loads in their Barretts, shooting just ten rounds each on alternating weekends. A .50BMG round, when fired into a herd of cattle, will kill, bleed, field dress, skin, hang, butcher, and package the entire herd for retail sale. [b]A .50BMG round, if fired into the wrong spot on the San Andreas Fault, could cause the western side of Californistan to slide into the sea. Make sure you've staked out your claim to the new oceanfront property beforehand![/b] The craters on the moon were caused by astronauts shooting at the moon with their Barrett rifles back in the 60's. Sunspots are actually holes left in the sun by the .50 rounds that missed the moon. CJ
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Jeez, really? I knew the rest of the stuff, but this is truly amazing. I gotta get me one.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 1:54:07 PM EDT
New physics research has concluded that, if you throw out Einstein's bogus cosmological constant, there is only one rational explanation for the Big Bang: a KB from an improperly headspaced Barret 50.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 3:59:48 PM EDT
[shock] damnnnn, I gotta get me one 'dem!
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 5:20:16 PM EDT
It's starting to look like the .50BMG is approaching the mind-boggling power of the .45 caliber 230 gr. ball fired from an M1911! Well, maybe it'll approach that level after a little more work on the optimum loadings... CJ
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 6:31:04 PM EDT
Don't forget the heat-seeking or laser-guided .50 bullets available from Radio Shack. I bought a bunch so I can use my laser pointer to designate spotted owls and mating dolphins for my friends. They can shoot the gun in the next state over and it will fly around until it hits the animal. I get around the hunting rules by doing this.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 7:11:36 PM EDT
The 50BMG was also utilized for American offshore oil drilling purposes, until southeast Asia started complaining about all the gaping holes.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 11:27:02 PM EDT
All these jokes were funny, but the sad truth is that here in the worker's paradise of Kalifornia, .50 sniper rifles are now the drive by weapon of choice of all the drug dealers and gangbangers who are no longer able to possess ar-15's and ak-47's because those are now illegal. Sad sad sad.
Link Posted: 2/7/2002 12:21:22 AM EDT
Originally Posted By cmjohnson: A .50BMG round, if fired into the wrong spot on the San Andreas Fault, could cause the western side of Californistan to slide into the sea. Make sure you've staked out your claim to the new oceanfront property beforehand!
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Would you do that for us?!?! If not us, maybe the children?
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