My back door opens onto a deck. Lately, when I open the door to walk out on the deck, there's a spider laying in wait to run in the house. As soon as I open the door, these fuckers run in and dart for the shadows.

I always grab them and chuck them back out onto the deck, so they can go forth and eat more bugs.

I think I've grabbed the same one more than once. One guy, I swear I chucked him out three times. The third time he pulled a knife on me.

Anyway, I'm sympathetic to their plight. They've been chewing up bugs all summer, and now it's getting cooler and they want to spend the winter in a heated place. But I'll be damned if I'm going to share my home with a little fucker who ain't paying rent, or even pitching in on the beer.

Hey, I'm thankful for them keeping the bugs down, but seriously, it don't get you a free ride for the winter.

Anyone else dealing with these skulky little bastards?

FPNI

Was watching Netflix with my brother in my room a few months ago and this horrid spider comes crawling up the wall behind my bed. I slowly get a notebook and very gently obliterate the spider with the notebook...leaving a giant black blood splat on the wall complete with spider bits and extraneous legs. I seriously don't know what kind of spider it was but it got juiced.


My brother(Westpoint grad) looks at me and says: "All right, lets think of three sustains and three improves that you can take from this experience."

Lol wut?

Auto erotic nailing of yourself does not count

Hey! You can't do that, it's like high fiving yourself!

High fiving yourself accounts for 87% of all arfcoms posts, its a time honored tradition...

Actually, I do move several jumpers indoors a few times a year. They dont make webs, they kill all the other bugs and spiders.
And when they have eaten all the bugs and spiders they leave to find more food.
Just this morning I caught a large bold jumper outside and moved him into the living room.

Spiders don't live long around here, scorpions and lizards get them pretty fast.

I've made peace with the brown barns, wolves and those thread-legged fuckers that cob in the upper corners of rooms.  I live alone, so they're welcome company unlike when my ex lived with me and would freak out at the slightest sign of them.

Even my cats seem to give most free passage.