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9/19/2017 7:27:10 PM
Posted: 11/23/2002 5:26:32 PM EDT
1) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"? (2) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crispness which no decent human being would eat? (3) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? (4) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? (5) Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? (6) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? (7) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? (8) Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? (9) Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! (10) What do you call male ballerinas? (11) Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? (12) Why ARE Trix only for kids? (13) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? (14) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? (15) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (16) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (17) If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong? (18) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? (19) If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? (19A) If the opposite of PRO is CON, then is the opposite of PROGRESS, CONGRESS? (20) Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? (21) Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? (22) Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? (23) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 5:35:09 PM EDT
#13. it became personal for Wile E.
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 5:52:56 PM EDT
[B](2) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crispness which no decent human being would eat? [/B] It's a conspiracy between the bread companies an toaster manufactures (plus the power company) [B](3) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? [/B] My deep freeze has a light in it , does that count? [B](5) Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?[/B] Carpool lane no, but hte HOV lane YES! [B](6) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?[/B] Cuz he'd never see Ginger or Mary Anne again! [B](10) What do you call male ballerinas? [/B] Fags [B](12) Why ARE Trix only for kids? [/B] They're not [I]only[/I] for kids, just not for rabbits. Incidentally Dix r 4 chix [B](14) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? [/B] Cuz when he's done you're broke. [B]15) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?[/B] Cause for prayer in school. [B](21) Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? [/B] Dunno, but the Star Spangled Banner is to an old Brittish drinking song. PONY_DRIVER
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 5:59:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/23/2002 6:01:56 PM EDT by Kar98]
Originally Posted By KBaker: (7) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
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One doesn't? Oh, that would explain...nevermind, mmm-kay? Edited to add: How about mimicking taking a leak then?
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 6:10:13 PM EDT
Originally Posted By PONY_DRIVER: [B](10) What do you call male ballerinas? [/B] Fags PONY_DRIVER
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LOL That's the first thing I thought of when I read that. LOL
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 6:26:04 PM EDT
Why do we drive on Parkways, and park on driveways? Why is bra singular and panties plural
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 6:40:42 PM EDT
Originally Posted By swatmedic Why is bra singular and panties plural
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Dunno, but there's a PAIR of titties in a bra, and this one time when I got the panties off this chick...9 months later I was married and had a beautiful bouncing baby boy. Maybee that's why it's plural? Why is it a pair of jeans? Why "rabbir ears" when it'a an antenna? Why are rabbits feet lucky? They weren't for the rabbit. PONY_DRIVER
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 9:24:20 PM EDT
Is a Zebra white with black strips or black white strips? HUMMm
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 9:35:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/23/2002 9:37:02 PM EDT by Adam_White]
Originally Posted By KBaker: (2) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crispness which no decent human being would eat?
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Three simple words: Pillsbury Toaster Strudels. Yummmmmm.
(6) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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As Pony_Driver insinuated, I think it's pretty obvious the Professor had an ulterior motive for wanting to stay on that island. Back on the mainland he was a babeless geek. On that island he was THE MAN. He was having his way with Ginger AND Mary Anne nightly, IMHO.
Link Posted: 11/23/2002 10:28:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By KBaker: (23) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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I really don't have an answer to this, but I have to ask; Why is it that my 5 lb. poodle will turn his nose up at hamburger meat, and then go out in the yard and eat cat shit? HMMMM!!!! Is this a commentary on hamburger meat or on cat shit?
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