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Posted: 5/24/2002 10:55:26 AM EST
The Beer Bill of Rights

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law disrespecting an establishment of beer, or prohibiting the free consumption thereof; or abridging the freedom of bar service, or of brewing; or the right of the people peacably to assemble, and to petition the bartender for a round of beers.

Amendment II
A well-stocked bar being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to brew and consume beer shall not be infringed.

Amendment III
No beer shall, in time of heat be quartered in any house without refrigeration, nor in time of cold, except in a manner prescribed by law.

Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their beer, bottles, glasses, and brewing effects, against unreasonable searches and seziures, shall not be violated, and no last calls shall be issued, but upon the proper time, supported by the clock, and particularly offering the bar patrons the opportunity to purchase and consume one more beer before closing.

Amendment V
No person shall be held to consume a second-rate, or otherwise infamous beer, unless on presentment or indictment of a large bar bill, except in cases arising in block parties or backyard barbecues, or at a fraternity house, when in actual celebration in time of holidays or sporting events; nor shall any person subject for the same bar bill to be twice put in jeopardy of cash or credit; nor shall be compelled in any drinking establishment to purchase beer for anyone other than himself; nor be deprived of beer without due process of law; nor shall private stocks of beer be taken for public consumption without just compensation.

Amendment VI
In all drinking establishments, the patron shall enjoy the right to speedy and courteous service, by a qualified bartender of the establishment wherein the beer shall have been ordered, which establishment shall have been previously licensed by law, and to be informed of the nature and price of the beer; to be presented with the bar tab against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining the beer which was ordered, and to have the assistance of the bartender for service.

Amendment VII
In bills at drinking establishments, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of service shall be preserved, and no tab presented by a bartender shall be otherwise re-examined in any drinking establishment in the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII
Excessive drinking shall not be required, nor excessive prices imposed, nor cruel and unusual beers inflicted.

Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain beers, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others consumed by the people.

Amendment X
The beers not supplied to the bars by mass marketing, nor brewed in microbreweries, are reserved to the brewpubs respectively, or to the people.

Link Posted: 5/24/2002 11:00:08 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/24/2002 11:07:57 AM EST
If I third and fourth I'd be motioning [b]on[/b] the floor.
Link Posted: 5/24/2002 11:20:10 AM EST
but.... unregulated BEER???  There must be REASONABLE restrictions on BEER.  


... pass me a brew....

Link Posted: 5/24/2002 11:24:39 AM EST
There being a right motion, a second (and a third & fourth as well), I hereby call for a voice vote.

All in favor of adoption the Beer Bill of Rights, as presented, say "AYE" ( or "Hell Yes" in Texas and all points south of the Mason-Dixon line.)...

Any opposed?...I didn't think so.

Motion carried.  Will someone please crack me a cold one?!
Link Posted: 5/26/2002 3:15:39 PM EST
Upped, because of the topic "beer should be banned". Also, I think it says something about cruel and unusual beers in there, Coors Light certainly falls into this category. I know, I know, has to be both cruel AND unusual, but it certainly won't be found in this here household.
Link Posted: 5/26/2002 3:22:59 PM EST
I don't drink, but I feel the national beer standard should be Becks.
Link Posted: 5/26/2002 3:35:15 PM EST
Ok, Ok, but you must ban the "semi-auto" taps!

Those things can dispense one beer right after another!!!!!

And high capacity kegs are RIGHT OUT!!!!

Link Posted: 5/26/2002 3:35:51 PM EST
All in favor say Aye:


All opposed say Nay:

...........(sound of Silence)...
Link Posted: 5/26/2002 3:54:13 PM EST
The Beer Bill of Rights

Naturlich typical German.[rolleyes]

My vote is for Double Diamond as the National Beer.

Link Posted: 5/26/2002 6:29:14 PM EST
wouldnt it be all in favor" say ALE
Link Posted: 5/26/2002 6:33:55 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/26/2002 7:02:14 PM EST
motion carried!

if there is no further business...i move this this meeting be adjourned...and that we adjourn to the bar.

do i hear a second?
Link Posted: 5/26/2002 7:18:47 PM EST
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