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Posted: 10/22/2004 10:25:21 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 10:30:18 PM EST by G-Rated]
WTF is up with the toilet seat? As a guy, I have to put it down AND up all the time. Doesn't seem to bother me. When I approach the toilet, it is always in an unknown condition. The status of the seat is checked and it is adjusted accordingly to suit my needs.

I also happen to be a huge advocate of the urinal in homes. It is my belief that the conventional toilet is not the right tool for the job when a guy has to take a leak, and that a urinal would solve a lot of maritial tensions! Well. except for the fact that females would probably think a urinal would be "too ugly" for a home bathroom.
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:32:23 AM EST
It's polite to put it down if there is a female (company) in the house and doesn't make the bathroom look quite so skanky???

However, studies have shown that most from the male species can not multitask well so I'm not sure why any of the female species would expect that after finishing such a momentous event like peeing, the male would then be capable of putting the seat down while he is basking in the glory of his accomplishment.

Double this basking time for making a poo, but instead of not putting the seat down afterwards, it stays down, since it was down when he accomplished goal #2. However, since the bathroom is normally rendered "unusable" for an inconclusive amount of time, it therefore incapacitates the female species from being able to appreciate the true state in which the toilet was left.

Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:41:14 AM EST
I know for a fact that my shit does not stink!



­
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:47:10 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/23/2004 5:47:28 AM EST by SigZiggy]

Originally Posted By RED_5:
I know for a fact that my shit does not stink!




Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:57:11 AM EST
Make it easier on everyone, put down the seat and close the lid. If all do this we will all need to adjust accordingly.
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 5:57:42 AM EST

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:
It's polite to put it down if there is a female (company) in the house and doesn't make the bathroom look quite so skanky???

However, studies have shown that most from the male species can not multitask well so I'm not sure why any of the female species would expect that after finishing such a momentous event like peeing, the male would then be capable of putting the seat down while he is basking in the glory of his accomplishment.

Double this basking time for making a poo, but instead of not putting the seat down afterwards, it stays down, since it was down when he accomplished goal #2. However, since the bathroom is normally rendered "unusable" for an inconclusive amount of time, it therefore incapacitates the female species from being able to appreciate the true state in which the toilet was left.




What did you just say????


just kiddin!
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 6:03:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:
It's polite to put it down if there is a female (company) in the house and doesn't make the bathroom look quite so skanky???

However, studies have shown that most from the male species can not multitask well so I'm not sure why any of the female species would expect that after finishing such a momentous event like peeing, the male would then be capable of putting the seat down while he is basking in the glory of his accomplishment.

Double this basking time for making a poo, but instead of not putting the seat down afterwards, it stays down, since it was down when he accomplished goal #2. However, since the bathroom is normally rendered "unusable" for an inconclusive amount of time, it therefore incapacitates the female species from being able to appreciate the true state in which the toilet was left.








Good one!



Originally Posted By G-Rated:
I also happen to be a huge advocate of the urinal in homes.




+1
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 7:36:26 AM EST
Keeping it clean is more important to me than the position of the seat/lid. I swear, use the bathroom after some men and you'd think they were doing the hula while peeing (no hands and blindfolded for that matter).

Do some guys "spray and pray"?
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 7:39:50 AM EST

Originally Posted By Persephone:
Keeping it clean is more important to me than the position of the seat/lid. I swear, use the bathroom after some men and you'd think they were doing the hula while peeing (no hands and blindfolded for that matter).

Do some guys "spray and pray"?



It's a two way street darlin'. you would think that everone was raised 'correctly', but sometimes I wonder.

don't get me on the topic of washing up afterwards!!!!!!
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 7:47:24 AM EST

Originally Posted By Persephone:
Keeping it clean is more important to me than the position of the seat/lid. I swear, use the bathroom after some men and you'd think they were doing the hula while peeing (no hands and blindfolded for that matter).

Do some guys "spray and pray"?



HAHA!
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 8:30:49 AM EST
Putting it down, you have gravity in your favor.. lifting that up, we have to work against gravity.. (not MUCH work, but work none the less. have to put up a men-at-work sign and everything)

It does look better closed.. all tidy.
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 10:25:43 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/23/2004 10:27:32 AM EST by G-Rated]
Ok, so it's a "looks" thing. I think this is just one of those male/female differences, cause as long as the toilet is clean, I don't think many guys will care how the toilet looks with the seat up.




Originally Posted By Persephone:
Keeping it clean is more important to me than the position of the seat/lid. I swear, use the bathroom after some men and you'd think they were doing the hula while peeing (no hands and blindfolded for that matter).

Do some guys "spray and pray"?




Well, some guys are sloppier than others. That, and it's not really the right tool for the job (large elevation difference), hence my urinal idea.

How about the urinal idea ladies? Could you go for that if it was a high quality, soft on the eyes urinal? It'd be easy to keep clean and the toilet seat would always be down!
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 10:47:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By RED_5:
I know for a fact that my shit does not stink!





Your own shit never stinks......
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 10:55:54 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 11:33:03 AM EST

Originally Posted By Shadowblade:

Originally Posted By Persephone:
Keeping it clean is more important to me than the position of the seat/lid. I swear, use the bathroom after some men and you'd think they were doing the hula while peeing (no hands and blindfolded for that matter).

Do some guys "spray and pray"?



I always leave the lid down - toilet closed. That way no one has to look at it unless they are going to use it.

I have 3 boys. One of them can't hit the toilet to save his life, the other is like me and won't miss. The other is in diapers so we'll see. However... I used to clean the bathrooms in a high school years ago and I can say for a fact that men are much cleaner than women in general. How women can get so much piss everywhere I will never understand - though your image of doing the hula does give me some insight...



yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how the women at work piss on the toilet seat.
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 12:23:31 PM EST

Originally Posted By ladyrt007:

Originally Posted By RED_5:
I know for a fact that my shit does not stink!





Your own shit never stinks......



thats not true, I've had a few gaggers before.



I'm a big fan of putting the cover down after any use, that way the womenz have to work too.

As to the Aiming problem, I have no answer, I might not be able to hit a dime at 1000yrds with my .30-06 but I can hit a toilet at 1-2 feet.
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 1:49:05 PM EST

Originally Posted By Persephone:
Keeping it clean is more important to me than the position of the seat/lid. I swear, use the bathroom after some men and you'd think they were doing the hula while peeing (no hands and blindfolded for that matter).

Do some guys "spray and pray"?



I have been trying to explain to my wife for years that I DO NOT 'spray and pray', it's a matter of balistics, (Volume X Velocity =Energy) in other words the force of the 'stream' upon the porcelain dictates the SPLASH FACTOR, add the angle of delivery to the equation and you can't help but have some 'spray'

Think of it this way, what happens to a bullet when it impacts steel or even water? You either get fragmentation of the round, or in the case of impact w/water hydraulic displacement.

Got it now???..
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 1:53:30 PM EST

Originally Posted By AZMAN-1:

Originally Posted By Persephone:
Keeping it clean is more important to me than the position of the seat/lid. I swear, use the bathroom after some men and you'd think they were doing the hula while peeing (no hands and blindfolded for that matter).

Do some guys "spray and pray"?



I have been trying to explain to my wife for years that I DO NOT 'spray and pray', it's a matter of balistics, (Volume X Velocity =Energy) in other words the force of the 'stream' upon the porcelain dictates the SPLASH FACTOR, add the angle of delivery to the equation and you can't help but have some 'spray'

Think of it this way, what happens to a bullet when it impacts steel or even water? You either get fragmentation of the round, or in the case of impact w/water hydraulic displacement.

Got it now???..



Clean up the crime scene with toilet paper.

Dried urine is such skank..
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 2:26:43 PM EST

Originally Posted By PointlessSilly:

Originally Posted By AZMAN-1:

Originally Posted By Persephone:
Keeping it clean is more important to me than the position of the seat/lid. I swear, use the bathroom after some men and you'd think they were doing the hula while peeing (no hands and blindfolded for that matter).

Do some guys "spray and pray"?



I have been trying to explain to my wife for years that I DO NOT 'spray and pray', it's a matter of balistics, (Volume X Velocity =Energy) in other words the force of the 'stream' upon the porcelain dictates the SPLASH FACTOR, add the angle of delivery to the equation and you can't help but have some 'spray'

Think of it this way, what happens to a bullet when it impacts steel or even water? You either get fragmentation of the round, or in the case of impact w/water hydraulic displacement.

Got it now???..



Clean up the crime scene with toilet paper.

Dried urine is such skank..




I do!!! However I just can't seem to get it clean enough for her no matter what. As a solution she has agreed to use her bathroom and stay out of mine and vice/versa, and I am also responsible for the care and cleaning of my own 'Throne'........
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 3:59:03 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/23/2004 4:00:28 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/23/2004 4:06:05 PM EST by Lorie40]

Originally Posted By Helldog40:

Originally Posted By G-Rated:
I also happen to be a huge advocate of the urinal in homes.



I put the seat down AND close the lid for the "tidy" appearance...As if we ever have any company other than the maid...

That being said, I advise my friends, ESPECIALLY those with multiple daughters, to do the following:

Find a downstairs closet and convert it to a "Men's Room"...To wit: urinal, No electrical outlet (for blow driers), and NO mirror (for makeup), car and gun magazines (at least 2 years out of date) liberally strewn about....this will gaurantee that a guy has at least a FEW square feet, free of pot-pourri, scented candles and wicker baskets, to call his own.

Extra points for smoking cigars whilst wee-weeing. Double bonus points for dipping your butt in the pisser......




And make sure to include laptop for "e-pinching" (ewwwww) and include room for a large Cat Pan for added aromatic ambiance!

Link Posted: 10/23/2004 6:17:18 PM EST

Originally Posted By PointlessSilly:

Clean up the crime scene with toilet paper.

Dried urine is such skank..



Of course.

What's up with "skank" though? Thats the second time that's been used in this thread. Must be a chick thing.
Link Posted: 10/24/2004 12:58:16 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/24/2004 4:40:25 AM EST by Helldog40]
Link Posted: 10/24/2004 1:10:11 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/24/2004 10:13:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By Helldog40:
I don't know about "skank" in this context....but to us guys in NYC, it's a shortening of "skanky" meaning dirty, unclean, even disgusting. Like a "skanky ho" used to mean dirty whore but in the past ten years or so it seems "ho" has come to mean "tramp" instead of streetwalker.

Thank you, Yo! MTV Raps for helping to bring gutterspeak to the suburbs...



Word
Link Posted: 10/24/2004 12:41:27 PM EST
I'll start leaving it down when she starts leaving it up.
Link Posted: 10/24/2004 1:14:44 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/24/2004 1:15:20 PM EST by Gloftoe]

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:
I'll start leaving it down when she starts leaving it up.


Not to be an asshole, but why must WE conform? It's our goddamn toilet too. Guys that piss with the seat up have to raise it to do so. Why can't you women just put it DOWN if it's in the up position? This has got to be one of the stupidest issues I've ever heard. You see something that's not "in place" for you, so you complain about it? Just fuckin' fix it. Take charge and do something about it, rather than complaining. IT'S A FREAKING TOILET SEAT.

That being said, I don't lift the seat. I just pee thru the seat hole. It's freakin' HUGE, people. If you get a little "splashback", wipe it up. We have a (occasional) housekeeper, and she's apparently complimented my bathroom habits to my wife. It's not that hard.

Edit: I agree with the quoted text. Not flaming you, PE!
Link Posted: 10/24/2004 9:27:22 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/24/2004 11:35:17 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/24/2004 11:36:54 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 1:16:23 AM EST

You ever wander into the bathroom in the middle of the night, half asleep, sit down to do your business, and realize the seat is up?
Is it that hard to check? I mean, do all women just go and sit on a toilet seat without making sure that someone didn't drown the seat in splatter? I have a 10 year old at home and I never sit on the throne without making sure that someone didn't leave leftovers for the next person. Even in the middle of the night.

All toilet seats are dirty unless visually confirmed to be clean by ME.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 2:39:07 AM EST

Originally Posted By MrsGloftoe:
You ever wander into the bathroom in the middle of the night, half asleep, sit down to do your business, and realize the seat is up?

It's ew.



I have to agree here.. and if your half asleep, I try not to wake up to much and to think to check the seat, makes me wake up to much

FTR though, we all put the seat AND lid down... kids were taught this from a young age and MrGH has always done this since before I met him. No complaints from me here.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 3:47:19 AM EST
I don't think it's as big of a deal as guys make it out to be, but then everything is a competition or power struggle from the sounds of it, so what do I know...

God forbid anyone take a couple seconds out of their day to do something that is polite for someone else. Every good deed gets returned two-fold.

General lack of respect for others has gone down the toilet
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 3:50:17 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/25/2004 3:58:51 AM EST by wedge1082]
Growing up my mom forced me into the habit of putting down both the toilet seat and the lid. She did not want the dog drinking out of the toilet.

This is not an issue in the Wedge household. In fact I go around out of habit after Mrs. Wedge and put the lid down on the toilet. I just do it without even thinking about it.

eta - I am a toilet nazi.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 3:53:33 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Growing up my mom forced me into the habit of putting down both the toilet seat and the lid. She did not want the dog drinking out of the toilet.

This is not an issue in the Wedge household. In fact I go around out of habit after Mrs. Wedge and put the lid down on the toilet. I just do it without even thinking about it.



And if you keep it down when you have kids in the house, you are less apt to find hotwheels that didn't make it across the bridge and barbie swimming
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 4:20:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:
God forbid anyone take a couple seconds out of their day to do something that is polite for someone else. Every good deed gets returned two-fold.


I completely agree. Doing something polite for someone else is a good thing. This is also a street that goes both ways.


General lack of respect for others has gone down the toilet www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/1271.gif


Please don't take my post as a "respect vs disrespect" thing. It was merely to point out the ridiculousness of this issue.

Originally Posted By Helldog40:

Originally Posted By Gloftoe:

It's freakin' HUGE, people.

If you get a little, wipe it up....

We have a housekeeper, and she's apparently complimented my "habits" to my wife.


It's that hard.



Hmm......and here I thought Texas was Conservative and all.....






Link Posted: 10/25/2004 5:17:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By Gloftoe:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:
God forbid anyone take a couple seconds out of their day to do something that is polite for someone else. Every good deed gets returned two-fold.


I completely agree. Doing something polite for someone else is a good thing. This is also a street that goes both ways.


General lack of respect for others has gone down the toilet www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/1271.gif


Please don't take my post as a "respect vs disrespect" thing. It was merely to point out the ridiculousness of this issue.



I concur with both statements.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 5:53:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By DDiggler:
All toilet seats are dirty unless visually confirmed to be clean by ME.




A good policy. Toilet seats, like guns, should always be treated as if 'loaded' unless and until visually checked by the shooter. Don't want to get your buttstock dirty.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:11:27 AM EST
Yes, an unexpected discharge is the last thing you want to experience.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 7:10:25 AM EST

Originally Posted By DDiggler:
Yes, an unexpected discharge is the last thing you want to experience.





BTW: Love your member name!
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 7:58:49 AM EST

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:
And if you keep it down when you have kids in the house, you are less apt to find hotwheels that didn't make it across the bridge and barbie swimming



Barbie floats right?

And heck that's a good excuse to explain the tow truck to the kids.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 8:00:37 AM EST
If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.


Link Posted: 10/25/2004 10:03:21 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 10:08:52 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/25/2004 10:09:16 AM EST by Gloftoe]

Originally Posted By MrsGloftoe:
One time at a bar I did not check the toilet before sitting.

The girl who had been in before me had an upset stomach.

I always check now.


Don't you women "hover" above a public toilet anyway?
(It would explain how women manage to piss on the seat!)
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 10:11:36 AM EST
Just close it all demmit, it's not that difficult! That way we both have to work at it..yeesh.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 10:42:08 AM EST

Originally Posted By HeldHostage:
Just close it all demmit, it's not that difficult! That way we both have to work at it..yeesh.



I'm lazy and not used to living with a woman anymore.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 10:43:37 AM EST

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:

Originally Posted By HeldHostage:
Just close it all demmit, it's not that difficult! That way we both have to work at it..yeesh.



I'm lazy and not used to living with a woman anymore.



Pretend.......you do every night anyway, don't ya??
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 11:24:47 AM EST
ouch...
I live alone except for the occasional paying customer that are old friend's of mine that I will let come over to my house. I have two toilets and they end up anyway I leave them. I clean up my own mess. Now what was it you wanted me to do ....fool around with a toilet seat or give you the absolute unbelievable ride of your life? It's your money and your time...choose wisely. A woman is like an airplane..you should get inside her twice a day and take her to heaven.........WOOF.

the above was written as sarcasm and satire...hopefully Gabby will smile and Mrs G (bunny) will not hit me too hard.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 11:26:12 AM EST

Originally Posted By HeldHostage:

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:

Originally Posted By HeldHostage:
Just close it all demmit, it's not that difficult! That way we both have to work at it..yeesh.



I'm lazy and not used to living with a woman anymore.



Pretend.......you do every night anyway, don't ya??



Oh DAMN. Just....damn.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 11:38:23 AM EST

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:
I don't think it's as big of a deal as guys make it out to be, but then everything is a competition or power struggle from the sounds of it, so what do I know...

God forbid anyone take a couple seconds out of their day to do something that is polite for someone else. Every good deed gets returned two-fold.

General lack of respect for others has gone down the toilet www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/1271.gif



You see, here's the problem....

If I try to be a super nice guy and put the seat down every time, then local womenz get used to it down, and when I forget once in a while they either get pissed, or fall in in the middle of the night and get even more pissed. Happened to me once upon a girlfriend.

As far as falling in during the middle of the night....I did that once a long time ago. It was good motivation to check and it hasn't happened again since.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 11:53:55 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/25/2004 11:55:07 AM EST by nationwide]
It's perfectly clear that none of you fine folk frequent our nations finest, effluent, truckstops.

All of your points are no match for a public facility, say in NEW JERSEY


Maybe I could write a book???

"The Best Little Shit Holes in America"

"Using the Coriolis Force for Fun and Profit!"

"Clean Restrooms, the Key to Keeping Your Business Flush With Customers"

"Washroom Graphite: A Photo Essay by nationwide, with a forward by John Stall"
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