It's a long story. He went, at about 6 PM and his usual self, to a cigar party held by the local Shriners, of which he is a member. It was basically cigars, a topless bartender, a bluegrass band, and lots and lots of fine scotches and bourbons. He arrived home at about 11 pm.

Well, that's not exactly true. At about 11 PM, one of his fellow shriners was pounding on my door. I open it, and he says, "Hey, man, can you help us with your dad? We gave him a ride home because he's had a little too much to drink." He couldn't walk. He couldn't even stand. Me and the other Shriner had to carry him, one with the arms and one with the legs, to the sofa, while a third Shriner watched and made fun of my father. I was then informed that his car was at the Shrine, but they hadn't bothered to remove his keys.

So I check his pockets, take his keys and wallet, and find that he has pissed himself. I flip him onto his side so he won't aspirate his vomit, and go to call my mother who is currently in Baton Rouge with my grandmother and my brother. This means it's me and my father alone, with me getting advice from my family who are in BR. While I'm on the phone, I hear him fall down, and pick him up and put him on the couch again. This happens roughly every five minutes for a half hour, at which point he begins to start trying to stand up, and falls further down, every five minutes, for about an hour.

Now, I've never dealt with a truly drunk person before, and he was drunker than I've ever seen him, or anybody. All he could say were 'yeah,' 'no,' and 'oh god,' and never so that it was a coherent response. Eventually he starts resisting my attempts to place him back on the couch.

So, after advice from my mother, I call the paramedics. They get there after I explain the situation, question him a bit (and to these questions he gives no coherent answers), don't bother administrating the breathalyzer they've prepped, and deem him posessing fully all mental capacity.

Cue his escape attempts. He gets up, tries to get out, and I ask him where he's going. He gives some excuse about how he needs to get his car, or he wants to go back to the party (which is over), or he needs to get his coat (which he's wearing). I tell him he isn't going anywhere, because he can barely even stand up at all, much less straight, much less walk out to the one car we have left and drive. Of course, all the car keys in the house were taken by me and hidden, all the guns were unloaded and the ammunition hidden as well. He attempts this every half-hour or so, and then starts yelling at me, yanking at me trying to get me away from the door, and raising his arm as though he's about to hit me. I do, in fact, yell back, and tell him not to threaten me. Oh, and to let you judge how he is mentally, after the first escape attempt, I asked him if he remembered the paramedics coming 30 minutes previously. He did not, in fact, remember.

Between each of these, I have frantic and exasperated conversations with my grandmother, getting advice, etc. I say that if he actually starts hitting me, I'm calling the cops.

So then, on the final escape attempt, he does hit me. Open-hand right across the top of my ear, followed by a few attempts at punching me. Yelling, screaming, stomping around, trying to push me out of the way. Bear in mind, by the way, that this is a full four and a half hours after he came home staggering drunk. I thought that drunk people were supposed to fall asleep. Anyway, he had hit me, and that was it. I couldn't take it anymore, the situation was out of control. I grab him and push him against the wall (I could easily take him in a fight, he's a skinny 6'0" to my massive 6'3", and he has no idea how to fight), tell him to get down on the ground, he doesn't obey and he tries to hit me again. I block, he stomps off, and I call the cops.

I feel terrible, like the shit of the earth. According to VA law, they must prosecute it as a domestic violence charge (a misdemeanor), even though I asked them not to press charges, since I say he hit me. They're also giving him drunk-in-public, as he had managed to get out and was trying to open the car with the keys to a P.O. box. I know I did the right thing, everybody's telling me I did the right thing, but I dropped a dime on my father. I feel like such absolute scum.

Conclusion is, I'll be subpoenaed to appear before the Juvenile-Domestic relations court in about a month's time, he'll be released tomorrow, I've hidden the guns and ammunition, my mother's trying to get an emergency plane ticket for tomorrow, and she's asked me to find a friend I can stay with from the morning until she arrives so I'm not here when my father is released.

I'm wired, frantic, dismayed...

I don't think I'll be getting any sleep tonight.

Edit: He's never gotten this drunk before, or acted this badly, or been violent (except for a few spankings when me and my brother were children, but we did deserve those). It's so completely uncharacteristic. I have no idea what got into him, besides a few pints of hard liquor...

Shoulda just wrapped him a couple of times in 100mph tape and stuck him in a spare bedroom to sleep it off.  Last time someone drunk like that got crazy that's what I did.  We have great laughs about it now, and no po-po was involved.  

WOW! what a night for you my friend... BUT before I can give you an honest answer... does he normally drink a lot?... I mean is this a problem for him?

OH , and how old are you?

The Dr will see you now...

This one is gonna get ugly....





I agree with the tape thing, tape his ass to a chair and he won't go anywhere.

Tough situation.

I say that'll teach him never to get that drunk again...
Not a very nice thing to do to your own son!

Should've had him transported to the hospital. He was in no shape to sign a refusal. If he'd have aspirated vomit w/o you being right near him, he could have died.

Quoted: WOW! what a night for you my friend... BUT before I can give you an honest answer... does he normally drink a lot?... I mean is this a problem for him?

No, he doesn't. He will always have a few beers or shots a night (over a few hours), and on holidays or weekends he might occasionally (once every month or two) have enough to be visibly drunk, but that's it.

To your other question, I'm 18, barely.

Quoted: This one is gonna get ugly.... I agree with the tape thing, tape his ass to a chair and he won't go anywhere. Tough situation.

VERY tough situation... Ive dealt with drunks before and no matter WHAT you choose to do.. they get pissed at you. We had a friend that was VIOLENTLY drunk one night. we had two options. Take him home to his mother OR call the cops. We opted to take him home. Next day he was cussing us out because we brought him home.

I asked him what SHOULD we have done with him... He said "JUST LEAVE ME THERE!"

It was the middle of winter with 7 inches of snow on the ground... YEAH RIGHT!

right now i may be as drunk as your dad...

Hail to the orange, hail to the blue...
hail alma mater, ever so true
we love no other so let our motto be
Illinoissssssssssssssssssss
varsity

i say you did what you could, if he cant handle his liquor and acts like an ass then he gets dealt with like an ass. what a fckd position to put your kid in. maybe he will think twice next time before getting drunk and hauling off on his own kid

When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family.

Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character.

Quoted: I feel terrible, like the shit of the earth. According to VA law, they must prosecute it as a domestic violence charge (a misdemeanor), even though I asked them not to press charges, since I say he hit me. They're also giving him drunk-in-public, as he had managed to get out and was trying to open the car with the keys to a P.O. box. I know I did the right thing, everybody's telling me I did the right thing, but I dropped a dime on my father. I feel like such absolute scum... Edit: He's never gotten this drunk before, or acted this badly, or been violent (except for a few spankings when me and my brother were children, but we did deserve those). It's so completely uncharacteristic. I have no idea what got into him, besides a few pints of hard liquor...

I think I would have handled the situation differently...hope your father isnt wasnt pro-gun...you know the little owing guns/domestic violence conviction thingy

I might add that most of the blame rests on your fathers inability to use alcohol in moderation...

ETA-I'm taking this from my perscpective at my age.  What would I have done at 18..wow, that really is a tough call!

Quoted: Quoted: WOW! what a night for you my friend... BUT before I can give you an honest answer... does he normally drink a lot?... I mean is this a problem for him? No, he doesn't. He will always have a few beers or shots a night (over a few hours), and on holidays or weekends he might occasionally (once every month or two) have enough to be visibly drunk, but that's it. To your other question, I'm 18, barely.

OK then if you were my son, first thing I would do is hug you and give you the BIGGEST apology for putting you through this crap. Since he is NOT an alcoholic, he wont play the blame game... when he sobers up, he will realize what he did... Get Mom to get to him first though.

As far as calling the cops.. that was a judgement call you had to make at the time, you have made MANY attempts to get the situation under control.

1. You called the paramedics
2. you physically tried to restrain him from hurting himself or others

It got out of hand... you did what you had to do.

I try NOT to get the police involved but if the situation is bigger than you can handle... what is there left?

Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character.

Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character.

Gaspain, I have to disagree... how did HE fail his family? His dad did. He tried on MANY levels to get it under control (paramedics, personally restrain him) What would you have done in this situation?

As far as airing his stained laundry ont the internet, no one knows him personally here, sounds like the guy is alone and wants a neutral POV

Quoted: right now i may be as drunk as your dad... Hail to the orange, hail to the blue... hail alma mater, ever so true we love no other so let our motto be Illinoissssssssssssssssssss varsity

HAHAHAHAHA

Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Gaspain, I have to disagree... how did HE fail his family? His dad did. He tried on MANY levels to get it under control (paramedics, personally restrain him) What would you have done in this situation? As far as airing his stained laundry ont the internet, no one knows him personally here, sounds like the guy is alone and wants a neutral POV

easy, you could have beat your dads drunk ass into shape. But its too late for that now that you got the law involved. Now you family is torn between your decision and your father. Basically, the SHTF and you may be spending Christmas holidays elsewhere.  

At least you know a new lesson now.

Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character.

Damn, that was a bit harsh...

Quoted: I think I would have handled the situation differently...hope your father isnt wasnt pro-gun...you know the little owing guns/domestic violence conviction thingy

He is pro-gun, but all the long arms except 1 shotgun and 1 rifle are either mine or my brother's, and technically all but 2 of the handguns are ours, although I'm not sure the legality of ownership, so for the time being we refer to them as his.

Quoted: right now i may be as drunk as your dad...

I doubt it... you can still type semi-coherently, which means you haven't lost your fine motor skills.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Gaspain, I have to disagree... how did HE fail his family? His dad did. He tried on MANY levels to get it under control (paramedics, personally restrain him) What would you have done in this situation? As far as airing his stained laundry ont the internet, no one knows him personally here, sounds like the guy is alone and wants a neutral POV easy, you could have beat your dads drunk ass into shape. But its too late for that now that you got the law involved. Now you family is torn between your decision and your father. Basically, the SHTF and you may be spending Christmas holidays elsewhere.   At least you know a new lesson now.

my personal opinion ( and that is all it is... an opinion) is that it shouldnt rest on his shoulders but his dad's. If dad is gonna be that shallow and get mad at him ... who the hell put his own kid in that position in the first place?

If Dad wont invite him for Christmas because he got drunk, he punched his kid, he became voilent... then dad has deeper problems that what is noted here. As I said, if I were the one who got drunk and did this to my son... I would be counting a shit load of ways to make it up to him.

as far as the police record goes, they may look at a DV charge but under the influence... and the son doesnt press charges... its a slap on the wrist.

friend went through the same shit... except it was with his wife instead of his son.... then again he is in a different state than me so I may be wrong. Interested to see the outcome of this.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Gaspain, I have to disagree... how did HE fail his family? His dad did. He tried on MANY levels to get it under control (paramedics, personally restrain him) What would you have done in this situation? As far as airing his stained laundry ont the internet, no one knows him personally here, sounds like the guy is alone and wants a neutral POV easy, you could have beat your dads drunk ass into shape. But its too late for that now that you got the law involved. Now you family is torn between your decision and your father. Basically, the SHTF and you may be spending Christmas holidays elsewhere.   At least you know a new lesson now.

Then they'd both probably be in jail...
That's real smart.

He did what he could, I agree he had no other choice, his father could have gone out and crashed his car and killed people or something...

MagKnightX it's a shame what you had to go through but remember it's not your fault. You tried to control him to the best of your ability. He was the ass. Hopefully when he sobers up he'll see that as well. Sorry for what you now must go through.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Gaspain, I have to disagree... how did HE fail his family? His dad did. He tried on MANY levels to get it under control (paramedics, personally restrain him) What would you have done in this situation? As far as airing his stained laundry ont the internet, no one knows him personally here, sounds like the guy is alone and wants a neutral POV easy, you could have beat your dads drunk ass into shape. But its too late for that now that you got the law involved. Now you family is torn between your decision and your father. Basically, the SHTF and you may be spending Christmas holidays elsewhere.   At least you know a new lesson now. Then they'd both probably be in jail... That's real smart. He did what he could, I agree he had no other choice, his father could have gone out and crashed his car and killed people or something...

Both in jail with headaches for a night is a bonding experiance. One headache and dad in jail is...bad for all parties in the long run.

Both in jail with domestic violence convictions is real great... Yeah...
Might have worked 40 years ago, not today.

Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character.

Your a bonehead, he did the right thing.

You took the proper course of action throughout.  Ignore what Gaspain said

Be prepaired for a huge assed guilt trip when he detoxifies. In his mind YOU will be to blame for his problems.  That is where all of your strength of character will be needed as this sitution will become nasty.  Be strong in your resolve knowing you are right.

you did the right thing.
it may be awkward for a bit but you'll be ok.
and if this is something outside you father's character, as you've said, then christmas won't be bad at all...
in fact it may be a very, very good one for you.

Best of luck, keep us posted
  Midwinter

Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Your a bonehead, he did the right thing.

Getting the cops involved is almost never a good thing and family business should be handled internally.  Definitely a shitty situation to be put in though.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Your a bonehead, he did the right thing. Getting the cops involved is almost never a good thing and family business should be handled internally.  Definitely a shitty situation to be put in though.

+1. And that's all I have to say about that.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Your a bonehead, he did the right thing. Getting the cops involved is almost never a good thing and family business should be handled internally.  Definitely a shitty situation to be put in though. +1. And that's all I have to say about that.

Agreement

I think what you did sucks.
You called the cops on your own dad?
Damn.

And then you don't think he is going to be charged?
Yeah right.

You know the score totally as you over 3K posts here.
Considering one time and that you already said he couldn't really hurt you I'd say you really blew it for your father. Yeah, he acted like a monkey's ass but it is not a regular thing. So he ties one on with his buddies and you end up getting his ass arrested.

Just Wow.

You shouldn't have ratted out your Dad.  Never invite the PoPo into your house except as a LAST resort.
You jumped the gun and now the guy that sacrificed so much for you is going to have to pay for it.

You should  have just kicked his ass, or let him go.  You do realize that a DV conviction will destroy his 2nd    ammendment "rights", don't  you?

I don't plan on ever disgracing myself like your dad, but if one of my kids ever did call call the cops on me, I'm afraid they would have to find new accomodations.  

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Gaspain, I have to disagree... how did HE fail his family? His dad did. He tried on MANY levels to get it under control (paramedics, personally restrain him) What would you have done in this situation? As far as airing his stained laundry ont the internet, no one knows him personally here, sounds like the guy is alone and wants a neutral POV easy, you could have beat your dads drunk ass into shape. But its too late for that now that you got the law involved. Now you family is torn between your decision and your father. Basically, the SHTF and you may be spending Christmas holidays elsewhere.   At least you know a new lesson now.

  And if his 'Family' holds this against him, and not the drunk,he would be better off 'elsewhere'.

Quoted: Never invite the PoPo into your house except as a LAST resort.

WORDS TO LIVE BY!!!!

Quoted: You shouldn't have ratted out your Dad.  Never invite the PoPo into your house except as a LAST resort. You jumped the gun and now the guy that sacrificed so much for you is going to have to pay for it. You should  have just kicked his ass, or let him go.  You do realize that a DV conviction will destroy his 2nd    ammendment "rights", don't  you? I don't plan on ever disgracing myself like your dad, but if one of my kids ever did call call the cops on me, I'm afraid they would have to find new accomodations.

 

 And if he 'kicked his a**', HE might be in Jail. If he 'let him go', and the Drunk got in an accident, he could be hung out to dry for 'Letting the Drunk go. And then you claim you would blame you 'Kids' for repurcussions from YOUR stupid actions????

As a father I truly feel for you and have no problem about the actions you decided on taking, your father failed in so many ways as a parent in this situation and you exhausted any other possible actions.

Moderate consumption is fine but falling down drunk and assaulting your own Son is inexcusable.

Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character.

That's a fucking dickhead thing to say. He sounds like a scared kid and is seeking our help at least for someone to talk to. Don't be an ass. You sound like you've lead a charmed life.

I grew up with a drunk parent and it's a fucked up thing for a parent to do to their kid. I've spent those long nights hiding weapons, knives, not getting any sleep. Kids don't ask for and don't deserve this shit from the people who are supposed to teach them. Being dropped off combatively drunk is BS from an older adult.

Yeah it sucks you had to call the Cops. I'm sure in his mind beating his DAD would be worse. It used to be the cops could be reasonable and help out in these situations now they have to push everything. Thank lawyers and lawsuits for that. Being it is the first time for your family hopefully the Judge will drop the domestic. Explain your desperation and the fact that he never hit you before.

I hope your dad realizes what a fucking asshole he was being and learns from this. He's the ONLY person at fault here.

Don't even for one second blame yourself for anything that happend. An older adult KNOWs their limit when drinking and should have better judgment.

I am shocked at how many of you think it is okay to call the cops on your own parent over something like this. Yeah, he acted like an ass and it is inexcusable, but the popo?

Shows how far our society has progressed towards full blown NAZI bullshit.  You can all now report to pick up your brown shirt and little swastika armband. Hitler would've loved you guys.

Maybe I am at the wrong place here.

Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. That's a fucking dickhead thing to say. He sounds like a scared kid and is seeking our help at least for someone to talk to. Don't be an ass. You sound like you've lead a charmed life.

Expect anything less from gaspain?

Quoted: It's a long story. He went, at about 6 PM and his usual self, to a cigar party held by the local Shriners, of which he is a member.

Well, there's the problem right there.  He has fallen in among evil companions.

Back in high school, the debate team I was on went to a statewide debate event, and the hotel we were in had a Shriner's convention going on at the same time.  The drunken old shits were throwing up all over the place all weekend, not to mention raising hell in the hallways and groping every high-school girl they could push into an elevator.

I know they do "good works" with their burn centers, but I still hate Shriners.

BTW, I don't think you should have called the cops on him.  That will screw up his life royally, if he gets convicted of DV.

Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character.

Hey buddy, what else was this kid supposed to do ?  Knock his father unconscious and restrain him, which would make him guilty of assault and false imprisonment.  He didn't have a choice, and it's always far better to ask for help and opinions with this kind of situation than trying to handle it all yourself.  

Quoted: Should've had him transported to the hospital. He was in no shape to sign a refusal. If he'd have aspirated vomit w/o you being right near him, he could have died.

+1

Quoted: i say you did what you could, if he cant handle his liquor and acts like an ass then he gets dealt with like an ass. what a fckd position to put your kid in. maybe he will think twice next time before getting drunk and hauling off on his own kid

Exactly, couldn't say it better myself.  

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: When your families dirty laundry gets to the police level you failed your family. Also, the fact that you air your stained laundry on the internet speaks volumes about your character. Your a bonehead, he did the right thing. Getting the cops involved is almost never a good thing and family business should be handled internally.  Definitely a shitty situation to be put in though.

When you're dealing with domestic violence, it's more than just "family business".  If you just keep handling it yourself, the problem will hapen again.  It becomes a cycle.  

the drunk failed his family NOT the Young Man. From the sounds he (Dad) has a drinking problem.
and who knows the background to the Drunk, He may have a history of voilent acts while drunk.
There is no talking to or reasoning with drunks.  In this case he did the right thing.
For everyone else who is whining about it put yourself in the kids shoes for a momment with no chest puffing internet blustering.

With any luck this will be a wakup call to the old man to lay off the booze.

Quoted: Quoted: It's a long story. He went, at about 6 PM and his usual self, to a cigar party held by the local Shriners, of which he is a member. Well, there's the problem right there.  He has fallen in among evil companions. Back in high school, the debate team I was on went to a statewide debate event, and the hotel we were in had a Shriner's convention going on at the same time.  The drunken old shits were throwing up all over the place all weekend, not to mention raising hell in the hallways and groping every high-school girl they could push into an elevator. I know they do "good works" with their burn centers, but I still hate Shriners. BTW, I don't think you should have called the cops on him.  That will screw up his life royally, if he gets convicted of DV.

What the hell is a Shriner ?

Your Dad fucked up. You did fine.

MagKnightX,

Sorry this had to happen to you.

You said you were barely 18, but you also said you would be subpoenaed
by Juvenile-Domestic relations court.   So...  are you 18 or not?

Not that your age matters at all.

But it might matter if your memory started to fade by the time you were
subpoenaed.  Hell, lots of people manage to "forget" someone hit them.

Without your statement, domestic battery charges might not stick.

Something to think about if YOU determine that isn't the course to take.

Quoted: MagKnightX, Sorry this had to happen to you. You said you were barely 18, but you also said you would be subpoenaed by Juvenile-Domestic relations court.   So...  are you 18 or not? Not that your age matters at all. But it might matter if your memory started to fade by the time you were subpoenaed.  Hell, lots of people manage to "forget" someone hit them. Without your statement, domestic battery charges might not stick. Something to think about if YOU determine that isn't the course to take.

How does it change things if he's 18 or isn't 18 ?  What can he/can't he do ?  Just looking for clarification.  Btw, do you ever hang around on Professional Soldiers ?  (probably a stupid question, but I'm curious )