User Panel
Posted: 1/3/2003 8:27:41 AM EST
[url]http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A3919-2003Jan2.html[/url]
What Would You Have Done? By Shannon Fitzsimmons Friday, January 3, 2003; Page A19 Dec. 23, 2002, 4:45 p.m. I'm getting on the Metro. I feel pretty good. I make my way past a group of kids and sit down next to a woman reading. I'm too tired to take out a book. The aforementioned group of youths at the door become the primary focus of my attention. There are six or seven of them -- one girl. I'd say they range from 10 to 13 years old. No school today, I think to myself. Two of the boys methodically play games on their cell phones -- all concentration. The language the others are using with one another is pretty coarse and foul. As the train grows more full at each stop, they stay sprawled as if the car were empty. New passengers step over their legs, which are extended into the aisle. At this point, I feel compelled to note that I'm relatively young enough not to be put off by a generic gangster affect. Further, having taught middle and high school students, I am aware of the range of behaviors one can reasonably expect from kids at different ages. That said, these kids -- the ones talking, at any rate -- are skirting the edges of that range, and I'm not the only one noticing. No one is issuing those warm smiles that adults so readily cast onto children. A middle-aged woman, sitting just behind the group, stands up and puts distance between herself and them. Let me reiterate that not one of these kids appears to be older than 13. The boy in front of me has an odd posture: almost in a fetal position, slouched far, far down. New passengers walking by eye him curiously. Finally, I lean forward to see what he is doing. He backs up, standing in the aisle now, but hunched over -- and resumes drawing on the seat in pen. I don't remember what it was he was drawing or writing. No rainbows or butterflies, though. As I have obviously seen him, and he has obviously seen me see him, I must call him out -- he's vandalizing a full train during rush hour, after all. "What are you doing?" I ask in a tone I think is curious but stern. "I'm drawing, bitch. What does it look like I'm doing?" I freeze, redden. He looks up now. He is staring at me hard. I hold the stare, but I have no idea how to respond. He must be -- what? -- 11. "You can't do that," I say finally, and while we are not speaking loudly, everyone near us is taking note. No one says anything. "Listen, bitch, if you don't want me to rob your North Face [my jacket] you better shut the [expletive] up." "Excuse me?" "I said, if you wanna keep your North Face shut the [expletive] up." This exchange goes on for one or two more rounds. I say nothing substantial. The 11-year-old continues to threaten me. I realize we are at my stop. The woman beside me, who has obviously witnessed the entire event, stands up and says, "Excuse me," as she would normally to make her way out of our seat and off the train. I pick up my things. I can feel all eyes on me as I leave. I have no idea what happened when I exited the train and emerged onto the street. Maybe someone said something or did something firm about the child's language or his action and got results. Maybe the kid kept on drawing, a car full of adults paralyzed while a handful of adolescents learned the lesson that fear and violence are power, and that those who evoke it get what they want. After replaying the incident a number of times in my mind, I'm not sure what I could have done or said to get the desired outcome, i.e., cessation of vandalism. I know my approach wasn't successful. I am sure, too, that we have a problem. It is clearly a problem that some children have experienced this kind of threatening dialogue enough to replicate it confidently in public. But it is perhaps a bigger problem that a group of grown-ups allowed uncertainty, perceived differences or maybe just apathy to excuse their responsibilities as adults in this society to mentor our youth. What should we do? Well, we can reduce economic disparity, work to strengthen social networks and make equitable our systems of education. We might also try to take ownership of that which happens in our society by actively engaging in it, even when it means authentically interacting with strangers from time to time. It might be helpful, too, to openly discuss our mistakes and failings. So, as for the Metro ride, what would you have done? The writer lives and works in Washington. View Quote My sons wouldnt be able to sit for a week. Children like this will be the end of this nation. I hope they are not of the majority. |
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Post from Hawkeye -
My sons wouldnt be able to sit for a week. View Quote [u]Your[/u] sons are likely not to be a problem! Children like this will be the end of this nation. View Quote Yes, they will. Unless we are able to raise our children to put an end to such foolishness! I don't think that may be possible any longer. I hope they are not of the majority. View Quote Trust me, they are, and if they are not, then they will terrorize the majority just as they were able to terrorize the majority of adults on that train! [b]Come quickly, Lord.[/b] While there is still faith on the Earth! Eric The(Faithful)Hun[>]:)] |
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Bring back corporal punishment!
When I was that age, I would have been in fear of what my dad would do to me. There were times when he threatened me with an arse whooping and was serverly pissed at him that he would do such a thing. Now I'm greatful he did. The looming threat of harsh discipline is a great inducement to behave yourself until you can fully figure out on your own that behaving yourself is the right thing to do. |
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I would submit that scumbags like this are a minority, and will likely kill each other off before they get old enough to do any real damage.
What scares me is the adults that let this happen, and those who are young today but who will be the ones defending these vermin years from now. |
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Quoted: My sons wouldnt be able to sit for a week. View Quote Are you sure about that? Kids, at least in public school, are told to call 911 if any parent or guardian threatens them or in any way touches them that is "uncomfortable". We are going to hell in a handbasket and it is because we are prevented by law to do anything about it. That is why there are parents that are divorcing their children no days. They have to in order to protect themselve from any liability for what their little a$$hole kids do. It makes me sick! I know my ass would have been hurtin for a week if I did something like that but I truely believe that I am from the last generation that feels that way.[:(!] |
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Quoted: Post from Hawkeye - My sons wouldnt be able to sit for a week. View Quote [u]Your[/u] sons are likely not to be a problem! Children like this will be the end of this nation. View Quote Yes, they will. Unless we are able to raise our children to put an end to such foolishness! I don't think that may be possible any longer. I hope they are not of the majority. View Quote Trust me, they are, and if they are not, then they will terrorize the majority just as they were able to terrorize the majority of adults on that train! [b]Come quickly, Lord.[/b] While there is still faith on the Earth! Eric The(Faithful)Hun[>]:)] View Quote ETH, I agree. I guess I just cant understand how children get to that state. |
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this stuff disgusts me. When i was growing up(i am 35 now) i would not have to worry about my dad catching me. The neighbors would have grabbed me by the ear and drug me home. Then i would have had my ass torn up.
This is something we can all thank the sue happy trial lawyers for. They have empowered the brats and their scum families by sueing anyone that tries to assist them. |
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What should we do? View Quote How about beating the ever living snot out of a child with no manners or respect for anyone? I saw plenty of unruly children when I used to work in NYC and took the subways everywhere. In my experience a school-age kid acting up would generally draw a hail of "STFU" from the general populace, and a decent tongue-lashing from any mothers on the car. Well, we can reduce economic disparity, work to strengthen social networks and make equitable our systems of education. We might also try to take ownership of that which happens in our society by actively engaging in it, even when it means authentically interacting with strangers from time to time. It might be helpful, too, to openly discuss our mistakes and failings. View Quote Typical liberal garbage. "We need to talk about our feeeeeeeeeeeeelings, we need to engaaaaaaaaaaaaage society's problems." God that makes me sick. Has society really become this pussified, or do the people with no backbones just have bigger mouths? |
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Quoted: Quoted: My sons wouldnt be able to sit for a week. View Quote Are you sure about that? Kids, at least in public school, are told to call 911 if any parent or guardian threatens them or in any way touches them that is "uncomfortable". We are going to hell in a handbasket and it is because we are prevented by law to do anything about it. That is why there are parents that are divorcing their children no days. They have to in order to protect themselve from any liability for what their little a$$hole kids do. It makes me sick! I know my ass would have been hurtin for a week if I did something like that but I truely believe that I am from the last generation that feels that way.[:(!] View Quote Try me. I will go to jail before I will allo wmyself to be guilty of not fullfilling my duty as a father to properly raise my children. An older gentleman that I used to work with, whom I had a lot of respect for, told me of the time when his young daughter did something wrong. He threatened to spank her. She told him that if he did, she would call HRS. He told her in a calm loving voice that that was ok, and called her over to the couch. He opened up the phone book, and showed her the number. He then told her that she also might want to call and ambulance as well, and started dialing HRS number for her. She asked what he meant. He explained to her in a loving fatherly voice, that if he was going to go to jail, then there was going to be a good reason for it (he was a police officer at the time). She promptly decided that maybe HRS wasnt the best idea anymore. Right this in stone. I LOVE my children. I will kill the first person to ever hurt them. But I WILL discipline them, and it will be with corporal punishment when needed. If they grow up to be loosers, it WILL NOT be because of lack of parenting on my part. |
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Recently, a local talk radio talk show had a mother as a guest on the show. The woman told her story about her unruly teenager who would sneak out at night and was starting to be sexually promiscuous at age 15. The kid was running around with a 20-something crowd, using drugs, drinking, screwing, and generally being a bad kid.
Apparently they tried grounding, talking, counselling, and other means of resolution where the kid's self-esteem is "protected" and the parent is a "peer" instead of a "lording ogre". All of which was of no avail. One night, the police brought the daughter home after raiding a party. When the parents asked the cops what they should do about the problem, the officer responded, "If it were my kid I'd spank them". So, the next time the girl came home with alcohol on her breath, the dad spanked her with his open hand on her buttocks over jeans. The next day, the girl was squirming around in her seat at school, and when the teacher asked if she was okay, she said she was in pain from being spanked by her father. Down to the counsellor's office she went where Children's Protective Services were called. The father was subsequently arrested for domestic violence and ordered to appear in court. When he appeared, the judge returned a guilty verdict and stated, "Even if you disagree with your child's choices, you must learn to accept them as an individual." As a result of being convicted and the judge's statement, the parents decided to remand custody of the child to the court and make her the judge's responsibility. What kind of kids do you expect in a society where a judge tells a parent a kid is to be considered equal and all the kid's choices should be respected? |
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Wonder how different she would have acted if she was packing?
If she truly wanted to "reduce economic disparity" shouldn't she have given him her coat? If the pack had decided to attack her, would anyone have helped? Would she have wanted them to? She asks what I would have done. I wouldn't live in Washington DC, stupid cunt. She chose her city, now live with the consequences. Of course, DC does have the highest per student spending in the nation, so I guess we can't blame the schools, huh? |
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As I've said MANY times...
In cases like these, abortion should be retro-active. Wecome to the citizens of the future. |
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Well, you may not like this but first, you could try to inform the authorities and offer to witness. If the choice is to confront, then you're just taking your chances.
On a more general level, I for one, don't really buy the "we are doomed" stuff. The notion of delinquent children is not exactly new and I honestly beleive that the "good" people of this country far, far outnumber the bad. And while the "bad" need to be dealt with, and I certainly don't have all the answers on that one, I think it's important to remember that we weren't all the choirboys we seem to recall ourselves being. And some of us turned out not half bad. |
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Another reason I carry a gun and won't use public transportation.
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Quoted: What kind of kids do you expect in a society where a judge tells a parent a kid is to be considered equal and all the kid's choices should be respected? View Quote The same ones noted in the first post. Delinquents. |
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I didn't read all the replies but the reason no one confronted the kids is because what would they do in a train car full of people? I mean, if it were some dip shit kids and no one else around I would whoop some ass, but with such a pussy society around you never know which one of those adults would turn you in for taking the pen from the little shit and shoving it up his ass.
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The amount of violence that is tolerated and even expected out of today's youth has continued to grow and grow. Does anyone even pay attention when another inner city youth dies in gun fire? Things have changed and we're not in Kansas anymore. That part of society is bent of an ever tightening spin of self destruction - drugs and violence.
I am old enough to remember the summer of love, I'd say we're having one of hate soon. I have come to expect anything from anyone at anytime. The fricken Girl Scouts knocking at my door gather an armed response anymore! It is sad that parents no longer take responsibility for thier children. They're too busy trying to pay for a 42" rear screen projection television and another new truck to be bothered with getting involved with their children. Children are mistakes. Children are tax breaks and earned income. Children are welfare and child support sources of income. Children are for day cares and after school programs. Seems that nobody really wants to be involved with their kids anymore. |
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Not really smart for a woman to antagonize these pricks. However, I can't believe not one man stood up for her. I would have said something, though I likely would have been armed as well. [:D]
These little pricks are getting bold these days around the DC Metro area. He probably had a knife. Maybe even an illegal gun. My guess is a grown man could have gotten the better of the situation -- easily. As this is "Berkeley of the East" they just stick their noses farther in their book and pretend it isn't happening. At 13, there would have to be parents at the end of that ride...right? I would have followed them on home. Or used my cell phone to call Metro security to meet me and them at the next stop. Take the FUCKING POWER BACK -- geez! Ed |
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Well if this had been 1950's America I suppose somebody, any adult around who was a parent would have picked the kid up and swatted them a few times. Then got their name and phone number and called their parents to explain what happened and what the child did. And then the kid would have gotten it again from his Dad.
I suppose some of America is still like that. It looks like these children today are not getting any of the rod whatsoever. But I was not allowed to back talk, cuss, sass, or do anything wrong. I have had my butt beat so hard..... As go the people so go the Nation. |
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About 10 years ago, we were at an FFA show where our son was showing his pig. Others were showing sheep and cattle. The announcer made the comment that you hear about a lot of bad kids in the news today. But, you know what? There's a whole bunch of good, responsible kids here who get up early every morning to take care of their animals, do their chores, go to school, etc. You never hear much about them, but you're looking at some of them right now.
Damn near made me cry. We hear about all the bad kids, but we rarely hear about the good kids. There's a lot of them out there and, if when know one, we need to encourage them every chance we get. Most kids love positive attention from an adult. Especially one that's not their parent. All you have to do is ask them how school's going and listen to the answer. Or if they participate in something like soccer or music, give them an encouraging word. It doesn't really take much to have a real effect. |
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Quoted: Right this in stone. I LOVE my children. I will kill the first person to ever hurt them. But I WILL discipline them, and it will be with corporal punishment when needed. If they grow up to be loosers, it WILL NOT be because of lack of parenting on my part. View Quote It's parents like Hawkeye that give me hope. I have faith that as long as we parent with that kind of love...then these kids in the article will remain in the minority. Keep it up guys. Signed...a father-to-be (hopefully soon) |
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let me chime in here...
I see 'em all the time. Little pieces of shit that have never been taught two things: Right and Wrong and Respect for Authority Personally, I can't do much about the scum in this country that allows their spawn to run amok. I can, however prepare my children for their responsibilities as Americans. The upside here is that while the numbers of these little insignificant-bastard-wastes-of-protein-and-clean-air may continue to grow, my kids will have a proportionately greater opportunity to prosper (as the pool of people who can succeed grows smaller) AND they are already good shots at the range (6 and 9 years old). My kids are responsible, and will be prepared for their future. My honor student can kick your gangsta thug kid's ass. And outshoot him. Sorry, I'm typing stream-of-consciousness here. I am just saddened by another example of the glory of a once great nation SPENT. |
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See alot of the same here, to bad to.
I remember when I was growing up, we lived off of a military base, and all the parents knew each other and thier kids, if you as a kid even talked back to a adult, you got a whooping from them, then when you got home you had another waiting for you, and if dad was out on deployment, you got several from him when he got in, OUCH, when I came to an age to know right from wrong, I choose right. |
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shut the f@ck up if you want to keep your Northface. View Quote Come and get it you little sh!tbird! These kids are this bold because no one has ever challenged them and MADE them behave. When I was 11, I was half afraid to even look an adult in the eye, much less back-talk someone other than my parents. I would've called the bastard's bluff and shown him how ADULTS react to bad behavior. If he pressed me, I would have pulled the emergency stop (after putting his little ass on the ground under my knee) and got the cops in there. He would have been arrested for assault (I thought he had a weapon officer, why else would a mere 11 year old act so bold and menacing?) and making threats, with witnesses to back it up. The little punk needs a good wipping and some serious punishment and discipline. This crap makes me sick. If the parents won't do their part, the little buggers should at least respect and fear that strangers in society won't put up with their crap. And I DARE anyone to call child services on me for spanking my child. A shit storm of biblical proportions will rain down upon (legally and tactically--I know LOTS of ways to totally screw with someone's life with nary of hint of who is the culprit, namely me). I like that father's tactic--go ahead and call CPS. You might as well call the police and the meat wagon while you are at it, because in the 5-10 minutes it takes them to get here, you are DONE! I truly believe that your children should have just a little bit of genuine fear of you. Not that they don't trust you or love (and they understand that you love them) but sometimes compliance can only be had by sheer terror of the consequences of DAD! Hate me now, but once you hit about 25, you will love me. (if you last that long)--my mom used to tell me that regularly, and she was right. I FEARED that woman--and for good reason. She is as strong as a bull and would have had no compunction against either kicking my ass or putting me in jail depending. That's what is lacking now. |
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"Kids today"
My anthropology professor said that people have been complaining about "kids today" for millenia. They've found Egyptian hierglyphics and Cuneform tablets bitching about how their students are lazy and disrespectful. There's nothing new under the sun. |
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Quoted: The upside here is that while the numbers of these little insignificant-bastard-wastes-of-protein-and-clean-air may continue to grow, my kids will have a proportionately greater opportunity to prosper (as the pool of people who can succeed grows smaller) AND they are already good shots at the range (6 and 9 years old). View Quote FAL - Very good point. Everyone on this forum should make a pledge to bring up (or continue doing so) their kids up right. The people who have honor, accept responsibility, do the right thing and don't bitch are the ones who will prosper (finacially and emotionally). That kid on the subway (and his ilk) will never enjoy the finer things in life. |
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My 7 yr old would have whooped his ass. I would have looked him right in the eay and said, 'bring it on, punk.' He'd look funny with a pen up his ass and a subway seat stuck to the roof of his mouth. and F CPS. If you make threats, thatis assault, and may be replied to in kind. Ops
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Quoted: You're all fvcking doom and gloom Hawkeye! [:d] View Quote I love you too man!! [moon] [8P] |
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what generation has not said that the next generation is doomed?
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Quoted: Quoted: You're all fvcking doom and gloom Hawkeye! [:d] View Quote I love you too man!! [moon] [8P] View Quote AAWWWWWWWW can you feel the love, can you |
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[b]I would have kicked the crap out of that little punk AND his friends when they tried to help him out. The problem is everyone on that train was too meek to do anything about it. That's the difference between them and me. Would someone have called the Cops on me? Maybe. They would also be hurting pretty bad too. At least then I would be serving time for a good reason.[/b] Edired to add: [b]I hate punks![/b] |
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I'm 15 and I wouldn't think of saying stuff like that. Don't any of these little a$$wipes have jobs? Oh yeah daddy buys them everything they need. Sometimes I get pissed at my dad, but I truly realize that he knows best.
-DEERSNIPER [sniper] |
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Quoted: I'm 15 and I wouldn't think of saying stuff like that. Don't any of these little a$$wipes have jobs? Oh yeah daddy buys them everything they need. Sometimes I get pissed at my dad, but I truly realize that he knows best. -DEERSNIPER [sniper] View Quote A ray of hope. |
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I caught a couple of kids red-handed vandalizing my condos garage back wall with a hammer and a screwdriver.
One was a product of a broken family, his mother was a complete whack job, the other kid had a mother who wore the pants in the family. I walked one of the kids back to his parents house, his mother swore up and down that it was not her kid. Then the father came to the door (while his wife was yelling at him not to talk to me) and asked me if I had any proof. I walked the father out to the garage and he was supprised to see that both of the little bastards had carved their names in to the stucco, had knocked a hole into the wall and had spray painted some lame graffitti on the wall. The father was kind of giving me a song and dance untill I looked at the hammer and screwdriver on the ground, the ones that had his name engraved in it! There was also one of the condo units fireplace poker there that had the other kids condo unit number on it. I told the father that I was calling the police and the manager. I took pictures of the damage for the manager. When the police came the whack-job mother was screaming at me and the manager that "her child was at home, he would never do something like that". The other mother was in my wifes face with her husband trying to pull her away from my wife, his wife told him to leave her alone "or else". When the police came I told them what had happened. I showed them the damage to the garage, the engraved tools and the fireplace poker. The cops were giving both the mothers the look when they started in on them. One of the cops looked at the paint and asked to see the boys hands. They both had overspray on them. That was all it took. The manager did not press charges, but she did evict the whacko mother and her hell-spawn child. The other kid's parents had to pay to fix the damages. About a week later me and the wife saw them together as a family, the father came up and apologized to me. He then told the kid to apologize to me, and when he didn't jump up he grabbed the kid by the ear and put him in front of me. The kid apologized to me and told me it would never happen again. The father then told the wife to apologize to my wife. She said something to the father that neither of us could hear, he told her in a voice loud enough so we could hear "get over there and apologize to them or else". Hehe. She came over and apologized to both of us. Their kids were very well behaved after that. |
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Quoted: Oh yeah daddy buys them everything they need. Sometimes I get pissed at my dad, but I truly realize that he knows best. -DEERSNIPER [sniper] View Quote I would wager that there isn't a father figure in their lives. |
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Tombstone -- one of my favorite movies has a very good scene in it dealing with just this type of thing.
You remember when the kid and another Clanton comes to bail out Ike. The kid brushes by Wyatt and says nothing -- very rude back then for a kid to disrespect an elder male. He basically challenges Wyatt and displays his gun from under his vest or jacket. Without hesitation Wyatt grabs the gun and busts him in the forehead with it. Knocking him down about three steps in to the road. Quick, decisive, effective. She was none of those things. Cell phone -- 411 -- Metro Security report the harassment and threats. You will have a metro transit cop or 5 on the next stop. Almost guaranteed. I live here. I know they have a cop team monitoring just about every station. No cop shows up, I dial police no-emergency and let them know. At the very least I get the train stopped and the station locked down. As she was a woman. Take out her mace/pepper spray and ask him to stop again. Let him know that he being placed in custody -- citizen's arrest. If he doesn't stop mace the fucker and pull the emergency stop handle simultaneously. You are being a responsible citizen to stop vandilsim, then faced with bodily harm with a numerically superior opponent. Mace was the only recourse. Ed |
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Cool story USNJOE! You just might have made a little difference then. Proud to be on the same board with ya.
Whoops! same goes to our board host. |
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I'm a teen, and I have to point out that many do not act this way. I have seen classmates act this way, and it makes me want to strangle them. If you think it's annoying when you're an adult, try being the person they try to socialize with. However wiry I am, being 6'2" prevents them from threatening me. Why? Because they're cowards, they don't want to engage in a chancy fight. They'd rather aggravate and annoy.
Meh. Destroy them all. |
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