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Posted: 11/23/2012 5:58:42 AM EST
A friend's told his daughter last weekend that she was not his biological child. He found out when she had her appendix out at 13,she just turned 18 and now lives with him. He does love and treat her as his own. The mom threatened to cut him off from her if he told her and tried to cut child support, but now she lives with him and the support has stopped. The daughter confronted her mom and she spilled the bean on the fact that the mom had an affair with a 16 year old kid who lived in the same apartment complex as she did. The mom was 23 at the time. She refuses to tell her daughter his name. Just a 5 gallon bucket of messed up.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:06:54 AM EST
Not the worst I've heard. She at least knows who the father is.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:09:38 AM EST
Fucked up? Yes.

Not even close to being the "most screwed up."
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:09:53 AM EST
Medically it's probably reasonable she knows, if he still treated her as his daughter then he's still more of a father then a whole lot of POS sperm donors out there.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:12:03 AM EST
Originally Posted By fxntime:
Medically it's probably reasonable she knows, if he still treated her as his daughter then he's still more of a father then a whole lot of POS sperm donors out there.


You're right, but there's still a lot of folks out there who get along fine without that info. I'm one. Closed adoption in the 70's.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:12:42 AM EST
Originally Posted By fxntime:
Medically it's probably reasonable she knows, if he still treated her as his daughter then he's still more of a father then a whole lot of POS sperm donors out there.


Being the glass half full guy that I am. He sounds like a good dad and the girl is 18.
She can do what she wants to.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:23:12 AM EST
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:28:29 AM EST

It's fucked up, sure, but she's got two parents who love her. She's doing pretty good.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:28:56 AM EST
[Last Edit: 11/23/2012 6:29:41 AM EST by Plattekill]
Better keep that story in Texas, it's just not up to New Yark standards, ya understan wat I'm sayn?
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:31:27 AM EST
Originally Posted By Drsalee:
Fucked up? Yes.

Not even close to being the "most screwed up."


Not even that uncommon.

One of my friends knowingly raised a kid that was not his own. In spite his best efforts that kid turned out like mom and is a single parent already.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:31:40 AM EST
It's one of those situations where if they hadn't told her she'd never know. The truth is good, but other than some lost respect for her mother I doubt this will be a long term issue.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:34:06 AM EST
Originally Posted By sburggsx:
It's one of those situations where if they hadn't told her she'd never know. The truth is good, but other than some lost respect for her mother I doubt this will be a long term issue.


She had already lost respect for her mom, long story short and 16 the daughter became the more mature one of the 2.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:34:38 AM EST
[Last Edit: 11/23/2012 6:35:03 AM EST by VA-gunnut]
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:39:22 AM EST
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:43:20 AM EST
Originally Posted By scottlang:
Originally Posted By sburggsx:
It's one of those situations where if they hadn't told her she'd never know. The truth is good, but other than some lost respect for her mother I doubt this will be a long term issue.


She had already lost respect for her mom, long story short and 16 the daughter became the more mature one of the 2.


Sounds like she has already learned from it all. She will be a stronger person because of it.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:44:47 AM EST
I wish that was the most fucked up thing I've ever heard/seen/experienced. I probably wouldn't be so jaded toward the world.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:45:27 AM EST
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:49:44 AM EST
Yeah, the lack of incestuous rape keep it low on the list.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:50:05 AM EST
Originally Posted By aquaman67:
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.


30% by some estimates.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:54:57 AM EST
Originally Posted By aquaman67:
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.


A former coworker had some reasons to suspect and had is wife's newborn tested, he wasn't the dad.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 6:58:39 AM EST
Originally Posted By AR15fan:
Originally Posted By aquaman67:
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.


30% by some estimates.


When my daughters were born a nurse quietly asked if I wanted a DNA test on them. I said no. I then asked 2 questions, how many ask for it and how many find out they are not the father. She commented on most of they guys who ask for test already have reasons to doubt. The answer was more then you think and she heard about 1 in 4 find out they are not the father.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:13:59 AM EST
How about a guy that had to pay child support for two bastards that were not his for almost 5 years before the courts accepted the DNA test results.




Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:16:03 AM EST
Man, it could be a hell of a lot worse. At least she has a father figure in her life that cares for her.


Far, far from the worst out there.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:17:14 AM EST
Originally Posted By scottlang:
Originally Posted By AR15fan:
Originally Posted By aquaman67:
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.


30% by some estimates.


When my daughters were born a nurse quietly asked if I wanted a DNA test on them. I said no. I then asked 2 questions, how many ask for it and how many find out they are not the father. She commented on most of they guys who ask for test already have reasons to doubt. The answer was more then you think and she heard about 1 in 4 find out they are not the father.


There was some article from the UK that stated something along those lines. 25% not being the bio dad or some sorts.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:24:30 AM EST
Originally Posted By scottlang:
Originally Posted By aquaman67:
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.


A former coworker had some reasons to suspect and had is wife's newborn tested, he wasn't the dad.


Similar situation. The boy is black. So they did the testing. And the coworker was indeed the father.
The mother's family had black ancestry but has been watered down. The mother's family look Italian.

Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:38:05 AM EST
Originally Posted By jungp:
Originally Posted By scottlang:
Originally Posted By aquaman67:
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.


A former coworker had some reasons to suspect and had is wife's newborn tested, he wasn't the dad.


Similar situation. The boy is black. So they did the testing. And the coworker was indeed the father.
The mother's family had black ancestry but has been watered down. The mother's family look Italian.



And that's why testing is nice, but acting the fool before the results come back is really contraindicated.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 3:11:58 PM EST
IMHO DNA testing should be required for any award of child support in every case.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:14:46 PM EST
I remember a "family law" attorney once telling me he was representing the father in a child custody case. The mom was evidently a drug addict. The dad was in prison suing to get custody of his kid.

Not sure how that turned out but it didn't sound good regardless.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:31:53 PM EST
I'm not about to air dirty laundry, but I have heard way more screwed up then that.
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:41:51 PM EST
Originally Posted By jungp:
Originally Posted By scottlang:
Originally Posted By aquaman67:
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.


A former coworker had some reasons to suspect and had is wife's newborn tested, he wasn't the dad.


Similar situation. The boy is black. So they did the testing. And the coworker was indeed the father.
The mother's family had black ancestry but has been watered down. The mother's family look Italian.



my maternal grandmothers family is like that with our indian (native american) ancestors. we have a throwback every once in a while,.


GR
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 7:45:48 PM EST
Originally Posted By DangerJ:
Originally Posted By scottlang:
Originally Posted By AR15fan:
Originally Posted By aquaman67:
I'm willing to bet if everyone took DNA tests, women would be doing 'lots of 'splainin'.


30% by some estimates.


When my daughters were born a nurse quietly asked if I wanted a DNA test on them. I said no. I then asked 2 questions, how many ask for it and how many find out they are not the father. She commented on most of they guys who ask for test already have reasons to doubt. The answer was more then you think and she heard about 1 in 4 find out they are not the father.


There was some article from the UK that stated something along those lines. 25% not being the bio dad or some sorts.


Of all births/couples or just the ones that asked for the test ?
Link Posted: 11/23/2012 8:03:07 PM EST
Originally Posted By scottlang:
IMHO DNA testing should be required for any award of child support in every case.


I totally agree, but since it's mostly men that have to pay child support, the legal system doesn't give a damn, their attitude is pretty much that the man is guilty and less deserving, so fuck him.
Link Posted: 11/24/2012 2:32:21 AM EST
Link Posted: 11/24/2012 2:41:21 AM EST
Originally Posted By VA-gunnut:

Originally Posted By IBU-14_Gunner:
Originally Posted By scottlang:
IMHO DNA testing should be required for any award of child support in every case.


I totally agree, but since it's mostly men that have to pay child support, the legal system doesn't give a damn, their attitude is pretty much that the man is guilty and less deserving, so fuck him.

The state would rather make the man, any man, pay for the kids. They know if they don't get a man to pay, the state will end up eating the bill (in most cases).




Agreed
Link Posted: 11/24/2012 2:57:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By AllAmericanInfidel:
Not the worst I've heard. She at least knows who the father is.


Oh, you've met my ex wife then?
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