Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/22/2005 7:39:41 PM EDT
This evening my wife was getting ready to take my step-son to practice. As always she had to remind him to put his seatbelt on before she would leave the house. He yelled "Leave me alone. What are you a psycho?!" She then sat in the driveway until he apologized. As she was driving down the road, he said something else in disrespect, and she turned the car around and took him home. He missed his practice and will probably have to sit out of the game for some time next week.

The next part I don't understand, but she was talking on the phone to my step-son's step-mother and told her the story. She agreed with the punishment. About an hour later his real father called my wife and went ape shit. He said it was "fucking bullshit" that she kept my step-son from an activity he liked and threatened to get a lawyer to get custody.

Who is right?
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:42:44 PM EDT
Mom is right. She usually is.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:42:49 PM EDT
Show the boy some graphic pictures of car accidents where the people weren't wearing their seatbelt. Preferably ones with detached limbs and open eyes.

Punishment sounds right to me.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:44:20 PM EDT
Your wife is right. Not punishing that sort of behavior only facilitates and encourages it.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:46:20 PM EDT
+1 WIFE
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:46:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/22/2005 8:11:38 PM EDT by vanilla_gorilla]
Fine with me.



Of course, if I said something like that to my mother or father, I'd have a new game to play..."Pick up teeth!" <--------I'd look like this after Dad got hold of me.


Edit to add: If he's allowed to treat his mother this way with no reprisal, then he WILL become his father, using anger and harsh language to get what he wants from what he sees as the weaker sex.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:48:02 PM EDT
If the kid is at "dads" house he can punish as he see's fit. If kiddo is at YOUR house dad can go take a flying ---- at himself. As long as the punishment is not abusive and that was not, the courts will laugh in his face and tell him to quit wasting their time. Sounds as if dad needs to learn YOUR house, HIS house are two different things. Besides, since momma did the diciplining he has zip to go on. Is his support paid up? If not, he won't take a chance on going to court.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:50:21 PM EDT
+2 wife here...
how else is the kid gona learn any respect.. his behavior is just unacceptable
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:50:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Collin:
Mom is right. She usually is.




I'd say the punishment fit the crime, but that doesnt mean moms are usually right.

This one seems like she's got her head on straight though. Good job
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:50:52 PM EDT
No question about it. Disrespect to an adult or parent earns punishment.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:53:01 PM EDT
Indeed. Mom is in the right.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:53:10 PM EDT
Yes. The father is current on his child support payments: a whopping $100 a month. He has a history of physical abuse and anger management problems. What a surprise huh?

My wife and I are in agreement. We don't want to raise a mirror image of his father.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:53:40 PM EDT
I backtalked my mom *once*. I also made the mistake of grabbing her wrist when she went to slap me. I did not see the other hand coming....

He got off light
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:56:24 PM EDT
Kid's testing the limit's. Make sure he know's where they are and stick to them.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:06:20 PM EDT
Mom was litterally 6'2" 180lbs when I was growing up. Your stepson is lucky he will be able to sit out next week.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:11:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
What are you a psycho?!



You know, I asked my mother that once. I was about five or six. It was also the first and last time I said anything disrespectful either one of my parents. We both must have set a new world record for the 400 meter dash as she chased my punk ass out the front door. Just the idea of what she might do to me once she caught me - made scarier by the fact that she usually is not quick to anger or hit - was enough to get me to apologize profusely during our little sprint. She accepted, apparently believing I had learned my lesson. She was right.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:22:00 PM EDT
Way to go, Mom. From another mother. It might just be his age, but if he's having a dramatic shift in behavior, consider that it might be more than puberty.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:25:05 PM EDT

Originally Posted By -Tex-:
Your wife is right. Not punishing that sort of behavior only facilitates and encourages it.



+1 Your wife is 100% right and handled it like a pro.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:26:17 PM EDT
Thanks, guys. I knew I could count on you. Respect for your parents doesn't seem to be the norm anymore with some of today's children. I think my step-son had it easy for too long and my wife has now had enough of his little jibes, backtalk, and complaints when we ask him to do his chores.

Since we don't believe in any violence in our house, we punish him by taking away privaleges, additional chores, and grounding. However, he also gets plenty of praise for being proactive, responsible, and getting good grades.

Above all I want him to respect his mother and women in general.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:26:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Collin:
Mom is right.



Yep.


She usually is.


When it comes to punishment, hardly
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:28:15 PM EDT
+1 wife!
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:29:36 PM EDT
Mom is right.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 4:19:22 AM EDT
She was right. That kind of disrespect is uncalled for. If I had acted that way towards my mother, I would have been belted so hard I wouldn't have been able to sit down for days. That kid needs his teeth rattled and a tour through the local morgue to wake his dumb ass up.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 4:21:01 AM EDT
Mom is right and furthermore if he was my boy I would have belted him when I got home for talking to my wife that way.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 4:25:45 AM EDT
Mom is right. Gotta halt the disrespect before it starts/gets worse.
He got off easy, I wouldn't have been able to sit for a week if I had did that.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 4:31:18 AM EDT
It sounds like the kid should have been smacked more when he was younger...
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 4:34:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
Yes. The father is current on his child support payments: a whopping $100 a month. He has a history of physical abuse and anger management problems. What a surprise huh?

My wife and I are in agreement. We don't want to raise a mirror image of his father.



Your wife is right. After reading the above the father's reaction is not surprising
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 4:55:35 AM EDT
She did good. Had to pull the same move with my daughter the other day so she missed cheerleading for a game. Oh well, respect gives respect.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 5:07:54 AM EDT
Sounds reasonable to me.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 5:25:52 AM EDT
That is exactly the same way my wife has handled similar BS in the past..... Good for her!
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 5:29:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Gravity_Tester:
I backtalked my mom *once*. I also made the mistake of grabbing her wrist when she went to slap me. I did not see the other hand coming....

He got off light




Always duck and move when Mom starts swingin'...
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 5:32:14 AM EDT



She did good.

Not only did she teach a lesson about safety, she also taught a lesson about respect and consequences.

I bet he puts on his seatbelt and shuts the hell up next time

Link Posted: 9/23/2005 5:38:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/23/2005 5:39:05 AM EDT by meltdown]
I'd have slammed on the brakes and let the little bastard darling take flight
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 5:54:43 AM EDT

Mom did the right thing. My wife and I make my son sit out of soccer games for punishment. When this happens he also has to apologize to his teammates and coaches for letting them down. We want him to know that his decisions can affect others and he has a responsibility to others to fulfill his obligations.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 6:03:15 AM EDT
The two choices are to condone inappropriate behavior or correct it.

Consequences follow accordingly.

My experience is that as kids get older you have better effect by impacting their social/recreational activities than by spanking them.

One of the jobs of a parent is to teach kids the connection between behavior and consequences. Sounds like she was just doing her job.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 11:30:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By BobP:
Mom did the right thing. My wife and I make my son sit out of soccer games for punishment. When this happens he also has to apologize to his teammates and coaches for letting them down. We want him to know that his decisions can affect others and he has a responsibility to others to fulfill his obligations.



Outstanding! That lesson is one he will learn well..
Top Top