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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:31:31 AM EDT
At 10pm last night, my wife and I were watching the cinema classic "Live Free and Die Hard" when I heard a clatter in my alley behind the house. It wasn't the sound of broken glass so I got dressed and grabbed my gat and went out into the darkness all pumped up on a Bruce Willis action-movie buzz.
Someone had turned over my recycle bins and my trash can along with the neighbors down the way  Trash in the streets! I was pissed. I left my wife with the AR15 to watch the house and went to recon the area.I walked the street in stealthy silence using my ninja-like abilities to move with nary a sound. I stalked from shadow to shadow with my hand in my pocket caressing the grip of my keltec 380. I with my keen and discerning mind noticed that the motion lights at each end of the alley were not on and that could only mean the criminals had come through the yards between... I went one street over...no activity. I then went over to the next street and saw no-one...until I got to the end of the road and saw two long-haired teenagers slinking into a house at the end of the block muttering and snickering about how they had "kicked" something... I think I found the suspects. Now, as I have no evidence, I didn't draw down but I want to catch these turds in the act and punish them in a suitable ARFcom style worthy of their evil misdeeds. What's my next prudent move? |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:33:09 AM EDT
[#1]
GAme Cameras!!
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:34:01 AM EDT
[#2]
Let me get this straight...you know where they live and you're asking what to do?
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:39:19 AM EDT
[#3]
Keep in mind, in order to get human beings to do something you want them to do you have to have some sort of leverage over them. If the little fuckers are acting like that you can bet you wont be able to go to the parents and get satisfaction. You were once a teenage boy, what were some of the things that were important to you  Find out more about the shitheels and take away something they care about. Good luck. |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:41:50 AM EDT
[#4]
Should I kill their kittens? 
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:43:08 AM EDT
[#5]
Being teenagers, I imagine they kill plenty of kittens themselves. |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:43:23 AM EDT
[#6]
Anal rape!
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:44:03 AM EDT
[#7]
The kittens??!! 
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:46:53 AM EDT
[#8]
go knock on the door and ask the parents/ grandparents if the 2 sanitation engineers can come clean up the trash cans they knocked/ kicked over
 , works like a charm, i had to do that when i lived in griffin georgia, i went to the apartment of the teenager that he and his friend knocked over our chairs/grill and etc.. thinking no one was home, the young man got his ass kicked all the way my apt.by his grandfather, the next morning the grandfather brought him and his buddy back over to re-appoligize and sweep our patio area. i was an asshat when i was a teenager and did all that kind of stupid stuff all the time, so i remembered that i had to do the same thing with my dad kicking my ass
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:47:15 AM EDT
[#9]
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Learn more, plan more, strike hard.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:55:22 AM EDT
[#10]
Hell yeah! Hit em' where it hurts!
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:59:27 AM EDT
[#11]
After picking up the trash, load up all the trash/recycle bins in the back of your truck. Creep w/ your lights off, back up hauling ass, then slam on the brakes before your rear wheels hit the curb (not a problem if you back into the driveway), sending all the trash/recycle bins (and their contents) into their yard. Accelerate away, laughing maniacally.... |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:00:33 AM EDT
[#12]
Dude, you know where the perps live.....
I'm just sayin' 
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:00:56 AM EDT
[#13]
Do you have beamz on your Gat YO!?!?
This will be epic.  |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:01:42 AM EDT
[#14]
Don't kill them, make them wish they were dead.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:02:29 AM EDT
[#15]
Backyard pot farm, meet Powerkicker's Roundup-filled power-sprayer of death. |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:04:14 AM EDT
[#16]
Are baby raccoons called kittens or are these cats?
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:08:15 AM EDT
[#17]
Man I hate crimes against Recycle bins! Build a robot suit out of recycling cans and wait out one night. When they show up , jump out and act like you will defend the recycle bin till the death. Scream, "Al Gore is my commander" over and over in your best robot voice. Hell, I'd even leave you alone after that.... |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:10:59 AM EDT
[#18]
Claymores in the alley.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:28:39 AM EDT
[#19]
Shit, get you some of those paintball claymores. I hear they even have ones with chemlight type and/or UV dyes..... |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:06:40 PM EDT
[#20]
* Update;
The two suspects were seen tonite walking down the alley after dark. Once around 7pm and the around 7:30pm. I went out the back with my vicious dog and met them further down the alley to feel them out. I let the dog have a long lead... ...As we closed in the darkness, the boys attempted to look up and stare me down as the dog bristled and then when they saw I was a foot taller than either of them, they looked at their shoes and avoided my gaze as they passed in silence. I have never seen these hooligans in my alley before. Twice tonite. The game is afoot! 
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:14:20 PM EDT
[#21]
Sounds like you need to flood the area around your garbage cans and then leave a frayed extension cord attached to your new steel garbage cans.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:14:23 PM EDT
[#22]
I'm bored. I hope you supply some action.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:14:32 PM EDT
[#23]
Doesn't anyone draw down anymore?
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:16:12 PM EDT
[#24]
Rick Roll them
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:19:18 PM EDT
[#25]
tag for...something.
Do you recycle bricks? A recycle bin would hold a lot of bricks. |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:22:09 PM EDT
[#26]
get with the neighbors and confront the parents. If you can get several people against them maybe it will make them take action against their punks.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:25:49 PM EDT
[#27]
It is a probability that being teenaged dipshits they have not considered the inevitable conclusion that kicking garbage cans can lead to said garbage following them home. It is almost certain that the garbage will wind up in their rooms because it's unbelievable how much of that stinky stuff can stick to the bottom of a teenagers shoe.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:51:27 PM EDT
[#28]
this is a tag
it should get good 
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Posted: 12/2/2007 4:57:45 PM EDT
[#29]
Leave behind some of those secret ninja spikes that they will step on and then when you hear them scream..................give them your best Chuck Norris.......
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:02:01 PM EDT
[#30]
Beat me to it. An alley lends itself to many options. Game cameras are a must, since you need to post the pics here later. Keltec...  Next time you take the AR15, and the Lil' Lady needs to do overwatch with the Barrett.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:03:29 PM EDT
[#31]
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:03:29 PM EDT
[#32]
-1 for no light
-1 for not carrying a real gun -1 for no pictures +1 for using old school hooligan's phrasology |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:03:35 PM EDT
[#33]
Tannerite, or claymores. I will let you come up with the specifics.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:05:20 PM EDT
[#34]
I did take my surefire. I didn't mention it because I thought that a flashlight for night ops was a given.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:08:18 PM EDT
[#35]
Send some fat people after them!!!!
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:12:01 PM EDT
[#36]
Post a note on their door... "I know who you are, I know what you did. Do it again, and we'll have words" I do not recommend "bravely facing them like a man"... when they know who you are, they'll simply target you for more hooliganism which you cannot defend yourself from. Far better that they not know who knows who they are. Let them wonder. Let them gaze fearfully at everyone nearby, wondering who's gonna drop a dime on them if they act up again. Or just burn their house down. Your call. |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:15:30 PM EDT
[#37]
Those would be "caltrops"...  www.defensedevices.com/caltrops.html |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:16:12 PM EDT
[#38]
Ok now you are just down by one.
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:19:35 PM EDT
[#39]
They are just fucking with you because you use phrases like "recon the area".
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:20:54 PM EDT
[#40]
especially during teh anal rape ETA: call the wrath of Popo Bawa down on them |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 5:27:24 PM EDT
[#41]
Knock on their door. Talk with the owners. DON'T claim you know their kids did it.
Just explain what happened to you, and to your neighbors. Ask (like you're concerned) if anything like that has happened to them. Describe the perps (ie: describe their kids). Say that there are a lot of worked-up neighbors, and you're hoping to solve this thing before one of those neighbors hurts somebody. Act stupid, but they'll get the message. ETA: This works even better if a large friend/neighbor accompanies you, and just stands there silently. I've been there before, as the large friend. The problem was different, but it was resolved immediately after. When you talk, it should be sugary-sweet. |
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Posted: 12/2/2007 6:46:23 PM EDT
[#42]
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Posted: 12/2/2007 7:16:21 PM EDT
[#43]
Dogshit claymores, it's the only way.
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