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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 6/21/2002 8:18:05 AM EST
A happy, little fly was buzzing around a barn one day, when she happened upon a large pile of fresh horse manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pangs, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out. She ate... And ate... and then she ate some more!!! Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas... she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground. She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall. She'd found a solution!! She realized if she could just become air-borne she'd be able to fly again. So, she painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.... ....and dropped like a rock to her death. The moral of the story? Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shit.
Link Posted: 6/21/2002 8:50:33 AM EST
Another story of a fly. There was once a fly buzzing above a picturesque stream in the woods. A fish in the stream was looking up at the fly thinking 'if that fly buzzes a little lower, I'll jump out and eat him' On the shore near the fish, was a bear, watching the fish, thinking 'if that fish comes up, I'm going to jump in there and catch it and eat it.' Up in a tree not too far down the shore was a hunter with his whizbang rifle with a Leupold big dollar scope on it, munching a ham and cheese sandwitch, watching the bear, thinking ' if that bear comes out from the shore a little, I'm going to shoot it and have me a great trophy.' Not far from the tree, a mouse was hiding under a leaf, looking up at the hunter, thinking 'if he drops that sandwitch, I'll run out and grab a bite to eat' Only a few feet from the mouse was a cat, watching the mouse, thinking 'if that mouse comes out from under that leaf, I'm going to pounce on it and eat it.' Well, the fly buzzes lower, the fish jumps out of the water and snags the fly. The bear leaps into the stream and grabs the fish and starts munching on it. The hunter drops his sandwitch and draws bead on the bear. BLAM! The bear drops. The mouse sees the sandwitch hit the forest floor and makes a dash for it. The cat gets excited and pounces at the mouse, but miscalculated, and landed in the stream. Moral of the story: When the fly goes down, the pussy gets wet!
Link Posted: 6/21/2002 10:51:34 AM EST
very good [:D]
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