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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/29/2005 5:29:16 PM EDT
1. Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.

3. Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes.

4. Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate. Republicans wear theirs.

5. Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.

6. Democrats name their children after currently-popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.

7. Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are not successful. Neither are Republicans.

8. Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't.

9. Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.

10. Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows by Democrats.

11. Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes.

12. Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.

13. Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first.

14. Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.

15. Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:30:35 PM EDT


HH
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:32:54 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:35:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By HoustonHusker:


HH



+1000000


DUh is that way!
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:35:46 PM EDT
Pretty funny if you ask me, although not a perfect representation...

Insert rich and poor, and it would ring fairly true as well...
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:36:42 PM EDT
That is stupid
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:36:45 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:37:52 PM EDT
Uhh . . . that made sense.
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:38:32 PM EDT
Very little lately especially on spending and Gov growth.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:01:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/30/2005 12:02:40 PM EDT by PromptCritical]
Not a troll. I fucking hate democrats. I first saw this in high school. Government teacher handed it out. From the way I see it, it makes fun of both.

Making fun of Republicans: 1, 2, 4, 12, 15

Making fun of Dems: 8, 9, 10, 11, 13,

Neutral or both: 3, 5, 6, 7, 14

Every group has some subject that can be used to make fun of them. Lay off a bit, relax and just see the humor in it.

Sheesh.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:06:59 PM EDT
There's a bumper sticker on the wall of the Big Kitchen, San Diego's famous South Park eatery where Whoopie Goldberg once worked as a waitress:

"Under Republicans man exploits man. Under Democrats it's the other way around."

Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:08:50 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/30/2005 12:10:07 PM EDT by raven]
Let me explain how humor works:

In order for things like this to be funny, they have to point at truth. Since this doesn't, it isn't.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:10:13 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:15:35 PM EDT


and a pretty stupid one at that.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:17:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/30/2005 12:18:23 PM EDT by xinflt]

2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.


I don't think I've ever seen, let alone tasted, a rutabaga.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:20:56 PM EDT
Democrates = Welfare for poor people.
Republicans = Corperate Welfare.
Libertarians = No welfare (theft), thus freedom.

Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:22:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Orwell84:
Democrates = Welfare for poor people.
Republicans = Corperate Welfare.
Libertarians = No welfare (theft), thus freedom.




Well, thats a bit simplistic, but the right idea.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:26:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By raven:
Let me explain how humor works:

In order for things like this to be funny, they have to point at truth. Since this doesn't, it isn't.



Humor can also be about unexpected irony and absurdity. But it generally revolves around laughing at someone, or something. Go read, "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein. Specifically the part where the Martian figures out why people laugh, and not for the reasons they told him.

I'll bet you don't think Monty Python is funny either.
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:28:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By xinflt:

2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.


I don't think I've ever seen, let alone tasted, a rutabaga.



Neither have I, but it is kindof a funny word. Say it with me: "Rooootaaabaaaaggggaaa"
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:28:30 PM EDT
Democrates = Welfare for poor people.
Republicans = Corperate Welfare.
Libertarians = No welfare (theft), thus freedom.
(As long as pot is legalized)

B_S
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:29:38 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:29:56 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/30/2005 12:32:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Blue_Suiter:
Democrates = Welfare for poor people.
Republicans = Corperate Welfare.
Libertarians = No welfare (theft), thus freedom.
(As long as pot is legalized)

B_S



Yeah, that's what libertarians are all about. Machineguns and marijuana.
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