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Posted: 6/22/2003 2:35:12 PM EST
What's the best advice you've ever heard?
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:38:03 PM EST
Buy low, sell high.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:38:46 PM EST
or... 1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things. 2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears. 3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people. 4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you. 5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself. 6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt. 7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones. 8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy,enmity,grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy. 9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places. 10. Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things. 11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself. 12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy. Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens!
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:38:54 PM EST
Your Focus should be on the front sight!
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:40:57 PM EST
Wrap it up.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:41:26 PM EST
Dying is easy, everything else is hard.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:43:14 PM EST
From my father: "Don't try to figure out women". AB
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:44:35 PM EST
Fuck them all.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:45:48 PM EST
Pee every chance you get.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:46:28 PM EST
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:47:01 PM EST
from my dad as i leave for college: don't marry the first girl to stick her hands down your pants
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 2:49:48 PM EST
30 years ago, age 13, I was told (and taught) "If you do something right the first time you won't have to do it again."
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 3:05:45 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/22/2003 3:06:29 PM EST by sgtstinger]
[b]NEVER[/b] turn down a woman if she offers herself to you... Unless she's excessively fat, ugly, or both... [banana] [banana] [banana]
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 3:05:53 PM EST
It's hard to soar with the eagles if you've been hooting with the owls.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 3:41:47 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 3:50:50 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/22/2003 3:53:03 PM EST by DEC]
1:It is better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6 2: Shoot for center mass, it is not my fault God put all the vitals in one place. Sherif at concealed carry course
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 3:54:27 PM EST
The secret to a happy marriage is: "Knowing when to shut up".
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 3:55:00 PM EST
Don't buy the cow if you get the milk for free.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 3:56:11 PM EST
"Dont knock er up,,we arent paying for it" my lovely parents.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:06:20 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/22/2003 4:08:55 PM EST by Winston_Wolf]
... "Try it, it's San Francisco four way, Osley made, Window-Pane."
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:25:59 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:29:15 PM EST
Sometimes the best advice is unheeded.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:31:36 PM EST
"Don't waste time, energy and money trying to change things you have no control over." "Every man is responsible for his own happiness." "To thine own self be true." All of which, I suppose were subliminal ways of my loved ones basically saying: "Will you please divorce that b!tch already!?"
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:32:32 PM EST
From an old wacko drunk: "Life is like a shit sandwich and I've had one too many bites."
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:38:27 PM EST
If you want something done right do it yourself.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:47:13 PM EST
My dog taught me these things: if it smells good, eat it... if it don't smell good, fvck it... of you can't eat it and you can't fvck it, piss on it...[;)]
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:52:34 PM EST
Originally Posted By Winston_Wolf: ... "Try it, it's San Francisco four way, Osley made, Window-Pane."
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We used to share these between 2 people! [shock] 4 way my ass! LOL!! AB
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:06:29 PM EST
Good... Better... Best..Never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:18:00 PM EST
Don't give advice.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:18:45 PM EST
When in doubt, whip it out
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:20:09 PM EST
Pop always told me: "If you date a girl, ALWAYS look at mama. That's what she's gonna look like in 20 years" "Never get your meat where you get your bread" "It's ok to date chubby girls..You're guaranteed to get some and she'll appreciate it more" Mama said: "You can learn something from EVERYONE you meet" "Never go a day without learning something new"
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:41:18 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:41:37 PM EST
Find the clitoris. from chef.....
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:41:49 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/22/2003 9:43:05 PM EST by MaverickMkii]
Don't know if this qualifies as an advice: "Women are just like that, accessories." (actually its from a crappy movie about a husband getting his ass kicked by his wife, so please don't take it seriously [:)])
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:45:56 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:46:27 PM EST
Originally Posted By SDavid: Pee every chance you get.
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Yeah, that was mine. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. My wife used to give me shit all the time because I would go to the bathroom before leaving the house. She finally figured out that life is a lot better when you pee when the opportunity presents itself.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:49:50 PM EST
Shut up and listen. -also- Never raise your hand to a child. It leaves your groin unprotected. (I read that here on ARFCOM last week.)
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:52:20 PM EST
never volunteer untill you have all the details.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:59:00 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:21:25 PM EST
"Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much." John Wayne
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:28:48 PM EST
Originally Posted By melo: From an old wacko drunk: "Life is like a shit sandwich and I've had one too many bites."
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One day some friends of mine and I were sitting at the local Burger King complaining how this friend did this and this friend did that and we were bitching. This drunk that was 15 feet from us walked over and said, "Im sorry but I was listening to y'all complain for the last 1/2 hour and if I may say [b]It's all bullshit.[/b] and remember that for the rest of your life" You know what? He was right. The second thing I remember was a line that went something like this "The less you lie, the less you have to remember" I think it was Mark Twain.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:36:49 PM EST
Originally Posted By Da_Bunny: Fuck them all.
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...and everyone that looks like them.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:49:29 PM EST
"Nobody will know how dumb you are unless you open your mouth"
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 11:01:38 PM EST
you were not meant to understand your life, you were meant to live it...
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 11:41:19 PM EST
There is a reason God gave you two ears, and only one mouth....
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 11:56:01 PM EST
Originally Posted By heavily_armed: If you want something done right do it yourself.
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At our old beat up freshman dorm room, years ago, they let you grafitti the walls and paint over it during the summer months. My roomate and I were b.s.'ng philosophy and scrawling on the walls- drunk I may add. He ended up writing: "If you want something done do yourself" I still have a picture of it somewhere around here.
Link Posted: 6/23/2003 12:00:15 AM EST
Originally Posted By Dragracer_Art: "Nobody will know how dumb you are unless you open your mouth"
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Here's a variation: It is better to remain quiet and appear ignorant than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Link Posted: 6/23/2003 12:08:52 AM EST
Aim Small, and you'll miss small From dad I got my first deer about a week later.
Link Posted: 6/23/2003 12:10:02 AM EST
Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations.
Link Posted: 6/23/2003 12:10:13 AM EST
Don't sweat the small stuff...
Link Posted: 6/23/2003 1:27:36 AM EST
"Don't be a fool, wrap your tool"
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