The Perks of your job

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - The Perks of your job

Posted: 11/9/2001 7:24:50 AM EDT

I've read the topic on police and seen their perks. Thought I'd share some of mine in the military as it seems we have way way more than them...

1) [b]Free[/b] Anthrax shots.
2) Free gas masks and plenty of canisters.
3) Free extended cruise trips to exotic places like the Persian Gulf.
4) Lots of free ammo!
5) Cool looking issued uniforms.
6) Three free meals a day! (some times their even eddible)
7) $10 flights on MAC flights (sitting in a jump seat)
8) 16 hour days seven days a week of good honest work (OK Sunday we only work 12 hours)
9) No union to worry about!
10) No need to worry about voting as they don't count your vote anyway.
11) 30 days of paid vacation time a year.
12) A 20 year retirement at 50% pay.
13) The finest [rolleyes] medical and dental treatments.
14) The ability to travel to other nations and meet other people (and try to kill them before they kill you).
15) At least two national holidays in your honor.
16) The pleasure of moving house, home, and children from state-to-state or country-to-country every three to four years.
17) Cost of living adjustments.
18) A warm and caring managment.
19) Grenades, rockets, and missiles!
20) Free haircuts.

Posted: 11/9/2001 7:44:20 AM EDT

[#1]

1) Free heat and electricity in my cubicle.
2) Getting to come in on Sundays to do work, and not being able to park in the building.
3) Free cell phone, and pager, and laptop
4) Carpal tunnel
5) Free MSDN subscription.
6) Occasional free training.
7) Getting to play with horrendously expensive servers, then proclaiming them 'slow' to management [:D]

Posted: 11/9/2001 7:48:31 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
...
4) Lots of free ammo!
...
19) Grenades, rockets, and missiles!

View Quote

Where, Where?

What? We only get to look at them?

While doing the quarterly inventory!

BullS#$t!

Posted: 11/9/2001 7:51:44 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
5) Free MSDN subscription.
6) Occasional free training.
7) Getting to play with horrendously expensive servers, then proclaiming them 'slow' to management [:D]

View Quote

These are my favorite three perks, too! [:D]

Ian

Posted: 11/9/2001 7:54:46 AM EDT

[#4]

DOUNUTS! YO

Posted: 11/9/2001 7:58:14 AM EDT

[#5]

To add to Paul's Post
21) The ability to never see family due to camping trips.
22) Has a great Exercise program.
23) The ability to test new ways of doing things to place your self in a exotic place.
24) Lots of Weapons and AMMO (oops you said that didn't you)
25) Lots of AMMO!!! (Can't say it enough)

Posted: 11/9/2001 7:59:44 AM EDT

[#6]

26)[b]Free[/b] trip to Afghanistan. Hopefully not one way, for all active military personnel!

Posted: 11/9/2001 8:00:04 AM EDT

[#7]

17) Cost of living adjustments.

View Quote

Holly crap, wish we could get that, since we are behind at least 14 years.

Posted: 11/9/2001 8:02:03 AM EDT

[#8]

Browsing the Boards.

Posted: 11/9/2001 8:23:16 AM EDT

[#9]

Im here am I not. My job perk is I have noting to do most of the day it gets boring watching a screen looking for problems in our system. So here I am

Posted: 11/9/2001 8:23:39 AM EDT

[#10]

1) Not being homeless.

2) Getting to eat.

3) Reading is a lot easier when you have electricity.

4) It pays more than unemployment would.

5) Getting to deal with people who have advanced geophysical and geological degrees who can't seem to not erase their project files.

6) Not having any benefits because they want more than I could pay for them. It was either insurance or keep my house.

7) Lots of slow days, so I get to browse ar15.com all day.

8) Occasional free pastries left over from meetings.

9) Free water from the water fountain!

10) Overtime because I'm a sub-contractor.

11) I get to play with hardware that costs more than my house, both cars, and all my guns combined.

God Bless Texas

Posted: 11/9/2001 9:01:03 AM EDT

[#11]

The ability to maintain a luxurious lifestyle
I've grown accustomed to, including such
amenities as eating and living indoors.

Free coffee.

Get paid to post here, although I'm pretty
certain that management doesn't endorse this
one..

Cutting brand new Cadillac and Lincoln cars in
two and then putting them back together again.

Xerox subsidies..

Steel targets (made from company scrap).

Occasional free training on some really
expensive software systems.

All in all, not to bad. [:)]

Posted: 11/9/2001 9:36:12 AM EDT

[#12]

Excellent views from the top of chimneys and the notariety of being the guy that wears the top hat.

...oh yeah, being my own boss...when the wife isn't around![:D]

Posted: 11/9/2001 10:07:11 AM EDT

[#13]

...on good days...the shit has corn in it...on bad days, it's just a runny mess...

Posted: 11/9/2001 10:25:01 AM EDT

[#14]

1) cleaning up after the flamers, pissing match contestants and trolls
2) Browsing these forums
3) Entry card to the executive mens room
4) The everlasting love and respect from the man upstairs
5) Company car, that's when Striker's done with it.
6) Time off so I can ride the ambulance as a paramedic.

Kuiper

Posted: 11/9/2001 10:35:35 AM EDT

[#15]

1) No free Anthrax shots.
2) No free gas masks and plenty of canisters.
3) No free extended cruise trips to exotic places like the Persian Gulf.
4) No free ammo!
5) No cool looking issued uniforms.
6) One meal a day! (some times their even eddible)
7) $1000 flights (sitting in business class seat)
8) 16 hour days seven days a week of work (OK Sunday we only work 12 hours)
9) No union to worry about!
10) No need to worry about voting as they don't count your vote anyway.
11) 0 days of paid vacation time a year.
12) No retirement at 0% pay.
13) No medical and dental treatments.
14) The ability to never travel and do the same crap day after day.
15) Unpaid national holidays.
16) Coming home to the same crap every day.
17) No cost of living adjustments.
18) A cold and heartless managment.
19) Don't even go there.
20) No time for haircuts.

Posted: 11/9/2001 10:40:08 AM EDT

[#16]

(1) 2 OC3 lines
(2) ummmm

Posted: 11/9/2001 10:46:36 AM EDT

[#17]

(1) Get to ogle cute undergraduate women.
(2) Get to warp young minds
(3) Get paid to be a smart-ass
(4) Get to study what I'm interested in, not someone else
(4) Nobody tells me what to do
(5) Set my own hours
(6) See my own name in print in journals that nobody reads
(7) Get to wear a fancy gown/robe at Commencement
(8) ... did I mention the cute women?

Posted: 11/9/2001 10:54:36 AM EDT

[#18]

1. Free CDs and music videos
2. Set my own hours and work from home
3. Free concert tickets
4. Free trips to many major metropolitan areas
5. Can stay logged in on AR15.com nonstop
6. Can fondle any of my weapons at all times
7. '61 Sony w/cable, DVD, TIVO, VHS, Surround
8. UPS man stopping in for pit stop

Posted: 11/9/2001 11:00:33 AM EDT

[#19]

Just to tie into the cop-perk thread;

1)I get a two mile four minute commute to the airport where
2)I get to fly around during the commute at 120MPH and
3)sic the cops on dumbass drivers (something every commuter has longed to do at some time in their lives) and
4)laugh at people stuck in traffic.

However, if I break ANY rules my a** is toast as everything is on the radar records/comm recordings.

Posted: 11/9/2001 11:09:05 AM EDT

[#20]

1.hot dancers/girls come in all day,and say "hello"
2.I show them dildos,and other implements of penetration
3.I get to bring them to the lingerie section,and say "ten percent off lingerie gals"
4.I get to look at the latest porn
5.fridge and microwave in the back
6.female co-workers,open to my questions such as "what porn interests you?" and "do you girls really use THOSE things?" and they normally are super cool about it
7.hot babes/dancers
8.shirt with logo
9.I get to wear an ear-piece
10.I get to tell people to leave,and I check I.D.'s

I am serious.If you live in Central Florida,you can visit me while at work.

Posted: 11/9/2001 11:17:57 AM EDT

[#21]

Polishing my feed ramps for lunch!
meeting models yah!
BALOO.

Posted: 11/9/2001 11:18:02 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Semper Fi

Dave (Formerly "SSgtUSMC")

View Quote

Congradulations Gunnery Sergeant!

Posted: 11/9/2001 12:59:50 PM EDT

[#23]

Free haircuts? We had to pay for our hair cuts in the Army. Nothing is worse then being a new recruit and getting that first haircut and having to pay for it at the end!

BKVic

Posted: 11/9/2001 2:54:16 PM EDT

[#24]

Watching good looking women get nekkid for my camera.

Posted: 11/9/2001 3:04:32 PM EDT

[#25]

1) Ceiling heaters in the winter time.
2) Generous 10 minute breaks
3) An amazing 30 minutes for lunch.
4) The opportunity to work (11) 12 hr days straight.
5) Free magazines
6) Free Thanksgiving meal
7) One week off at Christmas

Posted: 11/9/2001 3:09:18 PM EDT

[#26]

1) Wake up at 11 to noon everyday
2) Plenty of gym time.
3) Free medical, gym, books (Scholarships for tuition)
4) Warp freshmen girls little minds
5) work(ie study) when I want
6) 24,000 girls age 18-23 within about.. 10 square miles.. :)
7)Wake up (not beore eleven) hit the gym, the range or whatever else, then class, then the bars. wake up repeat..
8) Free food from the HireKrishnas

I say its great to be a Florida Gator.

Posted: 11/9/2001 3:29:02 PM EDT

[#27]

Get to spend weeks at a time teaching co-workers to shoot and getting to shoot company AR15's both .223 & 9mm with their ammo.
Ahhhh......did I mention getting to shoot company weapons?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - The Perks of your job

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