The Man Test!!! How do you score?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - The Man Test!!! How do you score?

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:08:19 AM EDT

Yes, its a chain email. Thought it was funny though.

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer–– it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too..

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer, or scratch his nuts.

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:10:17 AM EDT

[#1]

#7 is bs, watch the stig.

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:11:53 AM EDT

[#2]

#1 is full of fail and written by a fat man who has never walked into a gym.

#5, I don't drink coffee at all.

The rest is passable.

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:14:52 AM EDT

[#3]

lol

in before this list offends someone, thus outing themselves.

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:18:42 AM EDT

[#4]

#6 Fail.

I can name Flat Dark Earth, Tactical Black, etc......

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:18:47 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
Yes, its a chain email. Thought it was funny though.

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer–– it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too..

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer, or scratch his nuts.

USMC

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:19:41 AM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
lol
in before this list offends someone, thus outing themselves.

too late

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:22:36 AM EDT

[#7]

Considering chartreuse is a color used in fishing lures, wouldn't that be a manly color to know?

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:32:03 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
#7 is bs, watch the stig.

+1 if it's good enough for our Tame Racing Driver... (Signature Clarkson Pause) it's good enough for me!

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:34:10 AM EDT

[#9]

Guess I've been a flaming homosexual all these years and didn't know it.

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:34:42 AM EDT

[#10]

I will probably catch hell for this, but #2 got me.

Yes, I have a cat.

The little shit became mine when its owner moved out of my house and into the pysch ward. (Not kidding.)

I can't have a dog due to work hours and my yard isn't fenced.

I also taught the cat to play fetch.

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:41:10 AM EDT

[#11]

i drive with two hands sometimes and i like popsicles

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:43:55 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Yes, its a chain email. Thought it was funny though.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

#7. If you spell things in the queer british manner...

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:46:20 AM EDT

[#13]

Guess I'm queer...
Guess I should tell my fiance.

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:47:20 AM EDT

[#14]

Posted: 9/9/2010 11:50:28 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

#1 is full of fail and written by a fat man who has never walked into a gym.

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:07:45 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
#1 is full of fail and written by a fat man who has never walked into a gym.

Oh, and that.

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:23:00 PM EDT

[#17]

Apparently Im about as queer as they come....

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:25:19 PM EDT

[#18]

I guess being appealing to women also makes you gay, because following that is a sure trip to Larry The Cable Guy land...

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:27:00 PM EDT

[#19]

I'll piss anywhere but I am not putting my ass on a public toilet seat!

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:32:36 PM EDT

[#20]

It's acceptable to own a cat if it lives outdoors, and you only have it to kill things on your property.

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:38:38 PM EDT

[#21]

Kinda funny to see all you faggots gettin worked up about it. On an internet forum no less...

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:43:13 PM EDT

[#22]

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

any fisherman knows this color

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:46:45 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

any fisherman knows this color

I also very much like the AMBER reticle of my Trijicon...

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:48:11 PM EDT

[#24]

#2 was fail for me. We have 2 black cats and 2 dogs. I think my 14 tarantulas cancel the gayness of the cats however!

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:49:46 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

any fisherman knows this color

Anyone who shoots muzzleloader knows pillow ticking and felt as well

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:50:52 PM EDT

[#26]

I passed.

Only women rate themselves with cosmo-quizzes.

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:54:37 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
I passed.

Only women rate themselves with cosmo-quizzes.

This.

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:59:23 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Yes, its a chain email. Thought it was funny though.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer–– it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez, you're so queer.

Cats are awesome. I don't own any animals (don't want the responsibility or expense), but cats are entertaining (comical) as well as being very impressive from a design/engineering perspective (but not nearly as impressive as their larger cousins, e.g. tigers, lions, leopards, jaguars). I like some types of dogs too (scent hounds especially). They both have their place as pets and for practical purposes.

And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

Wool is the most impressive "textile" IMO. I'll take heavy wool clothing in the winter over any of the "high tech" synthetic cold weather clothing out there (and cotton doesn't even make the list for cold weather clothing).

Posted: 9/9/2010 12:59:57 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:

Yes, its a chain email. Thought it was funny though.

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot. Good Here

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer–– it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez, you're so queer. HAVE CAT

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag. GOOD HERE

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. GOOD HERE

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.. GOOD HERE

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer. Umm, Desert sand, Coyote brown, Olive drab, foliage green, urban grey - do these count?

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer, or scratch his nuts. GOOD HERE

Got me on the cat thing, and probably all of ARFCOM on the colors, unless camo colors are considered standard...

Posted: 9/9/2010 1:21:31 PM EDT

[#30]

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes.

This ones just a stretch and a half. I can name tons of desserts because, well, they're delicious. I can probably name 20 off the top of my head and that's cakes alone.

Posted: 9/9/2010 2:26:33 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes.

This ones just a stretch and a half. I can name tons of desserts because, well, they're delicious. I can probably name 20 off the top of my head and that's cakes alone.

Do you know how I know you're gay? Your name is Mango Chutney.

;)

Hax

Posted: 9/9/2010 2:54:27 PM EDT

[#32]

All kinds of derp in this one.

Dogs bark at squirrels. My cat eviscerates them and presents the corpse to me as proof of it's skill and cunning.

Posted: 9/9/2010 3:07:17 PM EDT

[#33]

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

hmm... so sucking on vaginas makes you gay; i did not realize that.

Posted: 9/9/2010 3:22:08 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

Now I'll make it clear that fisherman know chartreuse simply because it is a popular color for fishin' lures. Nets a fish 'bout every trip.

Other than that, I can get along with the rest.

Posted: 9/9/2010 3:29:33 PM EDT

[#35]

its all bullshit

Posted: 9/10/2010 3:17:38 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

any fisherman knows this color

Anyone who shoots muzzleloader knows pillow ticking and felt as well

I know nylon ,nomex and kevlar . for different reasons

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - The Man Test!!! How do you score?

General » General Discussion

Warning

Confirm Action

About AR15.COM

Stay Connected

Newsletter

Contact Us