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Posted: 9/30/2011 3:58:38 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/30/2011 4:07:50 PM EST by 1GUNRUNNER]
Out back feeding my pigs and black Yukon with Oregon plates pulls into the end of my driveway and stops. The GF says who is this? Hell if I know. They pull on in and as they swing around I can see "Kirby" and Mollala on the side of it. 20ish white kid hops out in slacks and a button up shirt carrying 2 - 3 packs of Lysol wipes. He gets about 20' from me and I say to him I will save you the walking....

Kirby Kid: Huh?
Me: I will save you the walk.
KK: I have gifts for you.
Me: Huh?
KK: I have gifts for you. (Hands one pack to me and one to the GF.)
Me: Thanks!
KK: We're out here doing a survey on the new Kirby 2000
Me: I think they are great and thanks for the gifts.
KK: I need to show it.
Me: No thanks, already seen it.
KK: You already have a Kirby?
Me: Yup
KK: Someone was already here?
Me: Yup
KK: Where were they from?
Me: Tacoma I think, thanks again for the gifts. (gf starts to walk inside with the "gifts")
KK: Uhhh can I have those back?
Me: Thanks again for the gifts.
KK: (Walks towards me with arm out) I need those back, we give those out to people for their opinions.
Me: I gave you mine, I think they are great.
KK: Well, I need to show it to you.
Me: No thanks, but I do you thank you for the nice gifts we will put them to good use. (I walk away and leave him there dazed and confused)

We walk inside and shut the door. I hear the the Yukon pull up to the side shop door and begin to honk, meanwhile we go through the shop and shut the front doors. We go into the house and I see the Yukon pull up to the front door and KK get out. I go out another side door and meet him at the front.

KK: Hey the owner is truck and I need to get those back.
Me: You said they were gifts, I thanked you for them and you have about 10 seconds to get off the property.

The other guy gets out and comes around the the back of the rig and announces he is the owner. He is small guy with a tan, kind of looks like a younger version of the president.

Kirby Kid Kingpin: Hey I am the owner here and I need to get those back, I am not in the business of just giving things away.
Me: Well actually you are, your boy here came around and announced he had gifts for us
KKK: Well there must have been a misunderstanding.
Me: No, I understood him perfectly.
KKK: I am a business man.
Me: Well then chock this up to a valuable business learning experience, and get off my property. You have 10 seconds before I call the Sheriff.
KKK: Go ahead and call them. (He walks towards his rig and gets out his phone.)

I go back inside and they sit in my driveway for a minute or two then drive off.

So, did I score me some free gifts or fire bombing when the sun goes down?


Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:08:03 PM EST
IATP
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:11:32 PM EST
Come on. You're better than that. Yes, they're annoying, but you need to save that type of asshattery for democratic pollsters.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:13:37 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/30/2011 4:14:04 PM EST by wunbadweel]
Pics of GF needed to make final decison here.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:13:45 PM EST
I thought I was literally going to have to fight the Kirby people at my mom's house. Most annoying salespeople I've ever met in my life.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:15:20 PM EST
pics of gifts or BS.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:15:59 PM EST
Originally Posted By wunbadweel:
Pics of GF needed to make final decison here.


Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:16:21 PM EST
fuck overpriced kirby shit. Dyson FTW
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:16:23 PM EST
They sing hymn's about selling Kirby. No BS. They are a cult. Act accordingly.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:18:42 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/30/2011 4:18:56 PM EST by Gloftoe]
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:20:11 PM EST
Originally Posted By Blake:
Come on. You're better than that. Yes, they're annoying, but you need to save that type of asshattery for democratic pollsters.


No, he doesn't. That was perfect. Fuck door to door sales people. Anyone who still tries to use that sales tactic in an era where we can order anything our heart desires with the click of a mouse needs a good, hard dose of reality therapy.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:20:21 PM EST
Originally Posted By wunbadweel:
Pics of GF needed to make final decison here.




Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:22:29 PM EST
Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER:
Originally Posted By wunbadweel:
Pics of GF needed to make final decison here.


http://i51.tinypic.com/2q9xw76.jpg



It is readily apparent why you coveted those Lysol wipes so.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:22:34 PM EST
After having one say it was illegal for me to have bought the used one I got at an auction, F them enjoy the gifts. Just hope you never have to have it serviced, you may be black listed.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:23:34 PM EST
Originally Posted By Billmanweh:
I thought I was literally going to have to fight the Kirby people at my mom's house. Most annoying salespeople I've ever met in my life.


Same here... but Mom said, do not insult my sister any further, she'll get enough of that while trying to sell the damn things
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:25:26 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/30/2011 4:26:07 PM EST by 1GUNRUNNER]
Originally Posted By Harvster:
pics of gifts or BS.


You're right, I lied.






















They're Clorox!



Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:27:30 PM EST
Originally Posted By FivePoint56:Just hope you never have to have it serviced, you may be black listed.


That's Racist!

I have never bought one. I own a Dyson.

Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:27:51 PM EST

Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER:
Originally Posted By Harvster:
pics of gifts or BS.

You're right, I lied.

They're Clorox!

http://www.ar15.com/media/viewFile.html?i=33474

You my friend, are epic win.

Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:27:59 PM EST
Originally Posted By Billmanweh:
I thought I was literally going to have to fight the Kirby people at my mom's house. Most annoying salespeople I've ever met in my life.

+1
Con artist, scum bags.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:29:39 PM EST
Great score. Nice job. But stand by with the garden hose just in case.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:32:06 PM EST
Just courious did you get the house painting attachment , the coffee maker attachment , or the leaf blower?

Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:37:28 PM EST
prick


















Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:39:31 PM EST
Well played, sir. I would have just dropped a bolt, and waited for their next move.

Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:39:48 PM EST
Originally Posted By AL50bmgshooter:
fuck overpriced kirby shit. Dyson FTW


Kirbys are very well built vac....as good as the dyson but heavy and durable. Of course....I got my two G6 Kirbys for just over $200 for both (used of course).
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 4:40:43 PM EST
The last time the KK's came around to demonstrate their overpriced machine I was planning to vacuum the rugs anyhow. I really appreciated the main rug getting shampooed, too. But $1,000 is way too much for me to spend.

After all, the vacuum I use to keep the house clean cost less that $50 when I bought it 4 years ago. And it works swell!
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:03:49 PM EST
Ah yes, it's about that time of year. We get increased reports and complaints of aggressive Kirby salespeople. We had a van roll on its side into a barrow ditch about 30 miles out of town. They rolled it upright and when the accident investigation was done, and one of their co-workers was taken to the hospital, they continued on their way selling vacuums. The other two were pretty banged up, and the right side windows on the van were busted out, but they kept on trucking.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:07:05 PM EST
My mother in law has loved her kirby for 20 years. Not that thats relevant to youre story.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:07:33 PM EST
Awesome gifts!!

I hate door to door vacuum sales people.

I wouldn't worry, chances are they'll be spending their commission at some bar.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:10:55 PM EST
Originally Posted By AFARR:
Originally Posted By AL50bmgshooter:
fuck overpriced kirby shit. Dyson FTW


Kirbys are very well built vac....as good as the dyson but heavy and durable. Of course....I got my two G6 Kirbys for just over $200 for both (used of course).


I got mine out of a dumpster for free.

Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:16:15 PM EST
never seen a Kirby salesman in all my years.




oh and tell them Nothing Sucks Like An Electrolux
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:22:31 PM EST
Funny story
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:22:31 PM EST
Hail hail the gang's all here
Gonna sell the Kirby
Yes we sell the Kirby

Hail hail the gang's all here
Gonna sell the Kirby now

Hey!

Kirby equals sunshine
Kirby equals sun

Hey!

Kirby equals sunshine won't that be fun

Hey!

Kirby equals sunshine
Kirby equals sun

Don't look down, don't you frown
Kirby equals sun

Hey hey hey hey hey heyyyyy!

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit up in my head
Up in my, up in my head

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit up in my head
Up in my head to stay

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit down in my feet
Down in my feet, down in my feet

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit down in my feet
Down in my feet to stay

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit deep in my heart
Deep in my heart, deep in my heart

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit deep in my heart
Deep in my heart to stay

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit all over me
All over me, all over me

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit all over me
All over me to stay

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit up in my head
Down in my feet, deep in my heart

I got that Kirby Kirby spirit all over me
all over me to stay!

CUZ WE ARE?
POSITIVE!
WHAT DO WE NEED?
SALES!
WHEN?
NOW!
WHY?
MONEY!

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_song_a_kirby_vacuum_salesman_sings_every_morning#ixzz1ZUcaLghD
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:24:49 PM EST
I think you did the right thing. A gift is a gift, and they have no right to expect you to drop everything and let them in your home or office for a sales pitch to "repay" them for the gift. The instant they refused to leave after being told to do so, they became guilty of trespassing. Personally, if I had to go back outside again after telling them to leave, I would have been carrying a rifle. I don't play that game.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:40:35 PM EST
Couple of weeks ago had a lady come to the door with a can of air freshener and told me she was with a startup house cleaning service and would like to clean a room - complimentary!

Well, no way in hell I was going for that, but asked the name of the company. After she left (she took the can of spray back from me), I looked up that company and it is Kirby.

Course, I bought a Kirby from a friend several years ago and they are great vacuums. I would never spend that much on one again, but that's neither here nor there.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:41:13 PM EST
Lol, all the way up there from Molalla?
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:43:53 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/30/2011 5:44:35 PM EST by Zhukov]
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:49:30 PM EST
1: Kirby salespeople make used car salespeople look like saints. they lie and coerse and are basically sheysters.

2: a gift is a gift. No take backs. I'm just sad that the story didn't end with the sheriff actually being called. Good call on your part.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 5:52:04 PM EST
Originally Posted By Pokernut:
My mother in law has loved her kirby for 20 years. Not that thats relevant to youre story.


Oh.. She got THAT attachment too!
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:19:08 PM EST

weird, i had a kirby salesman stop by the other day rambling about which carpet i wanted cleaned for free or some shit

i don't even think i got a chance to say "can i help you"
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:27:51 PM EST
If you don't have "No Tresspassing" and "Solicitors Not Invited" signs on your property, I suggest you get some.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:29:41 PM EST
I've had two of these kirby people come to my house in a span of three weeks, and they do not know how to take no for an answer. I just shut the door in their face.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:30:07 PM EST
Originally Posted By Deej86:
If you don't have "No Tresspassing" and "Solicitors Not Invited" signs on your property, I suggest you get some.


Kirby people respect that like a teenage boy respects his dates "no".
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:36:58 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:38:34 PM EST
Originally Posted By AFARR:
Originally Posted By AL50bmgshooter:
fuck overpriced kirby shit. Dyson FTW


Kirbys are very well built vac....as good as the dyson but heavy and durable. Of course....I got my two G6 Kirbys for just over $200 for both (used of course).


I built my own central vac system powered by a ShopVac. Total cost: $150 and it kicks the hell out of any Kirby or Dyson.

Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:41:38 PM EST
The one and only time I had a Kirby salesman stop at the house was years ago and the three dogs I had at the time were all banging the glass on the screen door to try to get at him. I just looked at him and told him my dogs really REALLY didn't like him and it would be best to leave. He fent with no drama.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:43:28 PM EST
When I read about the Oregon plates, I thought he was going to ask you to help him figure out how to use a fuel pump.
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:44:10 PM EST
Originally Posted By BuckHammer:
When I read about the Oregon plates, I thought he was going to ask you to help him figure out how to use a fuel pump.


Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:48:08 PM EST
Originally Posted By wunbadweel:
Pics of GF needed to make final decison here.


It's gonna be TRG...
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:52:21 PM EST
Should have went like this:

kk: gimee those back!
you: give what back?
kk: those wipes
you: what wipes?
Link Posted: 9/30/2011 6:56:14 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/30/2011 6:59:27 PM EST by Sugarfree]

Originally Posted By AL50bmgshooter:
fuck overpriced kirby shit. Dyson FTW


Dyson is overpriced mediocrity.


Lots of sales people having been coming to my door this year while attempting to hand me a "gift."



Link Posted: 9/30/2011 7:02:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/30/2011 7:02:33 PM EST by Taft]
Some kids learn leassons the hard way, some kids give-away gifts to learn them.
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