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11/22/2017 10:05:29 PM
Posted: 8/30/2004 10:32:11 AM EST
> Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
> GEORGE W BUSH
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
> We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
> the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or
> for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
> COLIN POWELL
> Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
> satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
>
> HANS BLIX
> We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
> have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
> side of the road.
>
> JOHN KERRY
> Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I
> am now against it!
>
> RALPH NADER
> The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road
> had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The
> chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the
> other side of the road because it was crushed by the
> wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN
> To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American
>
>
>
> RUSH LIMBAUGH
> I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
> I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross
> the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is
> already forming a support group to help chickens with
> crossing-the-road
> syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of
> this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the
> road paid for by their tax dollars.
> And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
> money, money the government took from you to build a
> road for chickens to cross.
>
> MARTHA STEWART
> No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market
> to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
> level. No little bird gave me any insider
> information.
>
> DR SEUSS
> Did the chicken cross the road?
>
> Did he cross it with a toad?
>
> Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
>
> but why it crossed I've not been told.
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY
> To die in the rain. Alone.
>
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
> cross roads without having their motives called into
> question
>
> GRANDPA
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
> road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
> and that was good enough.
>
> BARBARA WALTERS
> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
> heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious
> case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
> long dream of crossing the road.
>
> JOHN LENNON
> Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
> together - in peace.
>
> ARISTOTLE
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> KARL MARX
> It was an historic inevitability.
>
> RONALD REAGAN
> What chicken?
>
> CAPTAIN KIRK
> To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
>
> SIGMUND FREUD
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the
> chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
> sexual insecurity.
>
> BILL GATES
> I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not
> only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
> important documents, and balance your checkbook.
> Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
>BLL CLINTON
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is
> your definition of chicken?

> AL GORE
> I invented the chicken!

Link Posted: 8/30/2004 10:34:08 AM EST
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls.

Link Posted: 8/30/2004 10:36:08 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/30/2004 10:37:23 AM EST


THAT'S HILARIOUS!!!!!
Link Posted: 8/30/2004 10:38:29 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/30/2004 10:40:26 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/30/2004 11:00:22 AM EST
The chicken crossed the road to prove to 'possums that it could be done.
Link Posted: 8/30/2004 12:24:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By AeroE:
The chicken crossed the road to prove to 'possums that it could be done.



Link Posted: 8/30/2004 12:56:04 PM EST
Obliglritory tasteless joke.

why did the dead baby cross the road?


It was stapled to the chicken.
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