So, you can't do any of those things alone but a few together wouldn't hurt?

I'm just saying.......

Remember - Saluting a newly-minted butter bar is NOT a waste of a hand motion (my CO used to tell me this all the time...  Usually in the same conversation with "Do NOT F*CK with the new LT!)

While it is true that non-coms really run the armed forces, it is not seemly to inform junior officers of this fact...

Saluting a Lieutenant by whacking HIM across HIS eyebrows is NOT a gesture of respect - even if he DOES deserve it!

Neither is being seen with HIS wife at the NCO club, and being seen going to a hotel afterwards - even if you DID just "talk for a few hours..."

Threatening to pack an anvil in the LT's reserve pack is not funny - again, even if it is a good idea...

Neither is reversing the ammo in his mags when he's not watching over his kit...

Snot is not a food group - even if it goes well with coffee.

Filtering your CO's coffee thru an old sock is not funny, either.  Clearing your nose into the cup can be - but you had better be on good terms, and there had better be a good reason...

Lieutenants are hatched from eggs.  Non-coms reproduce like bacteria - by fission.  Remember this fact...

If you DI tells you he can make it light or dark out at will - DO NOT TEST HIM!

Laughing at a particularly good joke while doing pushups will hurt after a while (I've been thru this one many times.  Ever have an RI telling you jokes while doing koalas?)

FFZ

115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

We did this once at Pinder Barracks in Zirndorf, Germany, LOL. The taxi driver thought it was funny as hell, but the guards didn't.