I asked someone about a file they worked on.  They overwrote the old file, obviously skipping that pesky archiving step.  No big deal, I'll get IT to recover the file at some point today, if they can't, it's a lot of work to rebuild the file, but we'll swing it.  I also mentioned to be diligent about not overwriting files.  30 minutes non-stop following me around saying "I'm sorry", "I don't know what I was thinking", "I don't know what happened", "But I did everything right on this file, you just need the old one", "I don't understand".  Jesus fucking christ.  30. god. damn. fucking. minutes.  I have to imagine this asshole gives his dick a 20 minute pep talk after popping his viagra, then apologizes after sex.  Same thing happens almost every other week.  The most trivial shit causes a full blown meltdown.

What the fuck.  I'd rather this dude rage out and start throwing keyboards.

You spend 30 fucking minutes ragging on this guy? Is that all you had to do for the day?

At this point he's probably fucking up just to jerk you around.

I'm sorry man.

next time just do this op.  

We're going to have you do the needful

No.

30 minutes where he wouldn't stop following me around saying things.

edit - clarified OP

I try to keep this in mind on the extremely rare occasions that I'm not perfect:

1) Accept responsibility
2) Briefly and sincerely express remorse
3) Outline a plan to fix it
4) Outline a change in procedure to prevent repeating the error
5) Get your ass in gear fixing it ASAP
6) Move on with your life

What movie is that from?

Hey at least the guy took resposibility and didnt have a hundred excuses for why he fucked up. Thats rare these days.

Me and my boss have this thing going when I mess up. Know what it is? Nothing, not a word said !! I know I tanked it and fix it asap. He says nothing knowing I am aware I goofed. At the end of the day I will say "my mess up boss" to which he replies. "I've done worse, don't worry about it". Nothing is ever said again and life goes on as normal.

Tell him, "You're right. This won't happen again. Clean out your desk. You're done here." then have security escort him from the premises.

I screwed up once.

I used the Jake Blues method.............

This. If he is as remorseful and concerned about his fuckup, he will learn from it and make a concerted effort to not do it again in the future. It's the ones that take advantage of this or actually  need to be yelled at like a child that I think would be more problematic.

It sounds to me like he has an extreme lack of confidence.

Everyone is a dick these days. It's cool to be an asshole to people. I say take the opposite track.....treat him decent, pat him on the back and say "It's ok, I screw up too, don't let it take over your day". Saying a few kind words costs ZERO.

Not saying you are doing this in any way OP, but I have a hard on for bullies in the work place (this thread just reminds me of a few guys I know). Guys like you describe would be eaten alive by a few assholes that I have met. Being very  honest, I was kind of a bully in High School. Always picking on some lesser guy to make the boys laugh. I see that in the workplace now and it just breaks my heart. Full grown men groveling like you describe is one of those "symptoms". I suppose I am making amends for being a dick as a teenager, but I seek those folks out and try and be kind.

I also take great delight in truly fucking up the life of a workplace bully.

That's exactly what I do.  Give a heads up of what was done and help so it doesn't happen again.  Usually I explain how I fucked it up to bring us to this point

Dudes just manic.

Oops!

I am in my early 40s.  In complaining about some new hires it was hinted, like the cast iron frying pan to the head type of hint, that dealing with today's younger generations is going to require some rethinking and new training for those who supervise the younger folks.

Now some we hire are great.  Even right out of high school some people have enough common sense to follow verbal directions and stop and ask questions if they get to something they are not sure about.

Some went to the military or school of hard knocks or whatever right out of high school, and a lot of times they do great.  Some it comes down to if they wish to do well.

Others just make me decide supervisor is not worth it.

I agree that some just need a confidence boost but for the most part I just try to get them to understand that actions have consequences.

Working corrections is a heck of a place to see all the above.

Just noticed your last sentence....working corrections....I imagine your job has less tolerance for the soft/weak guys I'm talking about, and for good reason. My example above is in office/sales/engineering assignments that aren't life threatening.