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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/19/2005 4:43:35 AM EDT
Sharting myself infront of my lovely wife.

She came into to give me a good-morning peck on the cheek, tousle my thinning hair and castigate me for making the coffee in my "brake fluid" strength variety again.

Just as she is leaning down to place her lovely smoocher on my stubbly cheek, I say, "Hang on, hun...I got something for ya."

Normally, she would have known better and fled, but it's 5:30AM here and she's still a little groggy. Instead of one of my usually stellar pre-dawn seminefrious emanations...I get a little gas and little of something else.

By the sound alone, she knows something has gone awry. Upon seeing the perplexed look upon my face, she begins to guffaw and says:

"Smooth move, exlax."

I depart the home office, post haste, in a semi-waddling beeline straight for the john.


That is all. Carry on.



Sheep
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 4:45:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SheepDog_556:
Sharting myself infront of my lovely wife.

She came into to give me a good-morning peck on the cheek, tousle my thinning hair and castigate me for making the coffee in my "brake fluid" strength variety again.

Just as she is leaning down to place her lovely smoocher on my stubbly cheek, I say, "Hang on, hun...I got something for ya."

Normally, she would have known better and fled, but it's 5:30AM here and she's still a little groggy. Instead of one of my usually stellar pre-dawn seminefrious emanations...I get a little gas and little of something else.

By the sound alone, she knows something has gone awry. Upon seeing the perplexed look upon my face, she begins to guffaw and says:

"Smooth move, exlax."

I depart the home office, post haste, in a semi-waddling beeline straight for the john.


That is all. Carry on.



Sheep



and you thought you were being sooooo cooooool!!!!


buwahahahahaaaa
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 4:46:17 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/19/2005 4:49:00 AM EDT by Greywolf2112]

Originally Posted By SheepDog_556:
Sharting myself infront of my lovely wife.

She came into to give me a good-morning peck on the cheek, tousle my thinning hair and castigate me for making the coffee in my "brake fluid" strength variety again.

Just as she is leaning down to place her lovely smoocher on my stubbly cheek, I say, "Hang on, hun...I got something for ya."

Normally, she would have known better and fled, but it's 5:30AM here and she's still a little groggy. Instead of one of my usually stellar pre-dawn seminefrious emanations...I get a little gas and little of something else.

By the sound alone, she knows something has gone awry. Upon seeing the perplexed look upon my face, she begins to guffaw and says:

"Smooth move, exlax."

I depart the home office, post haste, in a semi-waddling beeline straight for the john.


That is all. Carry on.



Sheep



Link Posted: 9/19/2005 4:48:34 AM EDT
They say farts aren't supposed to be warm and lumpy.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 4:56:56 AM EDT


poor guy
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 4:59:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:

Originally Posted By SheepDog_556:
Sharting myself infront of my lovely wife.

She came into to give me a good-morning peck on the cheek, tousle my thinning hair and castigate me for making the coffee in my "brake fluid" strength variety again.

Just as she is leaning down to place her lovely smoocher on my stubbly cheek, I say, "Hang on, hun...I got something for ya."

Normally, she would have known better and fled, but it's 5:30AM here and she's still a little groggy. Instead of one of my usually stellar pre-dawn seminefrious emanations...I get a little gas and little of something else.

By the sound alone, she knows something has gone awry. Upon seeing the perplexed look upon my face, she begins to guffaw and says:

"Smooth move, exlax."

I depart the home office, post haste, in a semi-waddling beeline straight for the john.


That is all. Carry on.



Sheep



img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/grey2112/Funny/TMI.jpg



I liked the first one better, Wolf.


Sheep
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:12:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SheepDog_556:

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:

Originally Posted By SheepDog_556:
Sharting myself infront of my lovely wife.

She came into to give me a good-morning peck on the cheek, tousle my thinning hair and castigate me for making the coffee in my "brake fluid" strength variety again.

Just as she is leaning down to place her lovely smoocher on my stubbly cheek, I say, "Hang on, hun...I got something for ya."

Normally, she would have known better and fled, but it's 5:30AM here and she's still a little groggy. Instead of one of my usually stellar pre-dawn seminefrious emanations...I get a little gas and little of something else.

By the sound alone, she knows something has gone awry. Upon seeing the perplexed look upon my face, she begins to guffaw and says:

"Smooth move, exlax."

I depart the home office, post haste, in a semi-waddling beeline straight for the john.


That is all. Carry on.



Sheep



img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/grey2112/Funny/TMI.jpg



I liked the first one better, Wolf.


Sheep



You mean this one?

Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:17:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/19/2005 5:18:07 AM EDT by SheepDog_556]

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:

img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/grey2112/Funny/wtfcat.jpg



Yep...cause that is exactly the look I had on my face when what should have been warm and fragrant was warm and moist.



Sheep
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:38:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/19/2005 5:38:37 AM EDT by bvmjethead]
The desk banging, knee slapping, head lolling, belly aching laughter that is coming from me right now which BTW is making even my dog look at me funny is why I hang out with you guy's.

I love this place.

Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:42:58 AM EDT
A real treat!
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:44:34 AM EDT
Oh shit!
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:44:49 AM EDT
Time to take the Browns to the Superbowl
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:52:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By smokycity:
They say farts aren't supposed to be warm and lumpy.

Like the saying goes,
"Nothing says surprise like a fart with a lump in it."
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:56:58 AM EDT

Originally Posted By go3:
Oh shit!



ROFL!

Or Drop the kids off at the pool.

I have a theory I shared with my wife once, as to why us men like to share our experiences, be they farts or poops, with our wimmenz. Since we can't push babies out, this stuff is the only thing we CAN create from our bodies, and therefore we have become as proud of our creations as the women are of their babies.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:59:24 AM EDT
The title of this thread got a laugh out of me, but yeah, I'd say this was way too much information.

:)

Scott
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 6:07:54 AM EDT
Well I guess it's safe to assume that those drawers are no longer serviceable.

Max
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 6:14:41 AM EDT
now all you have to do is pee the bed and you can change your handle to Pissbed Shitpants556
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 6:16:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:
I have a theory I shared with my wife once, as to why us men like to share our experiences, be they farts or poops, with our wimmenz. Since we can't push babies out, this stuff is the only thing we CAN create from our bodies, and therefore we have become as proud of our creations as the women are of their babies.



This is my best friend to a "T". He will leave a monsterous pile in the john, and then drag his wife in for a review of his accomplishments. This also happens with all the male recruit officers he trains.

Seminal qualites may include any of the following:

1. Length of unbroken trout

2. Tightness or uniformity of coils

3. Width of said log

3. Solidity/Viscosity

4. Mass of deposit, measured via displacement of water volume in bowl

5. Resiliance of skid marks vs. repeated flushes

6. Explosive velocity/back-splash

7. Uniqueness of color

8. Presence of clearly identifiable undigested objects, such as corn or peanuts

9. Stench


Sheep
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 6:19:08 AM EDT
Dear God, Why the fuck did I click on this thread?
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 6:27:22 AM EDT
The full moon brings em out everytime!!!
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 6:28:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By maxell27:
Well I guess it's safe to assume that those drawers are no longer serviceable.

Max



Transported to the exterior trash receptacle on the end on my ASP.

Greasy!


Sheep


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