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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/18/2005 4:41:12 PM EDT
One of my best friends is an ER doc. He hates his job, but at least it's not boring.

Today's story: A guy came in with the scabbord of a toy sword stuck so far up his butt that the doc couldn't get it. He had to be sent up to surgery.

And his story to the bitter end: He slipped in the shower and fell on it.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 5:52:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:
One of my best friends is an ER doc. He hates his job, but at least it's not boring.

Today's story: A guy came in with the scabbord of a toy sword stuck so far up his butt that the doc couldn't get it. He had to be sent up to surgery.

And his story to the bitter end: He slipped in the shower and fell on it.



As God as my witness, that is what they ALL say when they come in with objects up their ass.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 5:58:47 PM EDT
It was a fun day for the proctologist at that hospital, huh?
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 6:06:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/18/2005 6:09:47 PM EDT by OZ309]

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:

Originally Posted By Rodent:
One of my best friends is an ER doc. He hates his job, but at least it's not boring.

Today's story: A guy came in with the scabbord of a toy sword stuck so far up his butt that the doc couldn't get it. He had to be sent up to surgery.

And his story to the bitter end: He slipped in the shower and fell on it. [:/]


As God as my witness, that is what they ALL say when they come in with objects up their ass.



Hey Greywolf2112, since you sell/sold insurance for a living just how is it that ya know this? Is there something ya want to tell us?

Have ya been hanging out at the ER or are there bringing these misplaced items to you?
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 6:07:04 PM EDT
Im a nurse, and one of my co-workers was telling me a story of a patient who "sat on a plunger handle by accident" so hard that it punctured his rectum and went out the side of his butt cheek. He was leaking stool out of both holes and eventually had to have a colostomy bag.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 6:34:02 PM EDT
Ow, that hurt just reading about it.

One of the guys in my squadron ejected and came down square on an oak branch. He ended up with a colostomy, too. What do you call that - it's not from the frying pan to the fire, it's from the fire to the manure pile or something.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 6:34:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By OZ309:

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:

Originally Posted By Rodent:
One of my best friends is an ER doc. He hates his job, but at least it's not boring.

Today's story: A guy came in with the scabbord of a toy sword stuck so far up his butt that the doc couldn't get it. He had to be sent up to surgery.

And his story to the bitter end: He slipped in the shower and fell on it. [:/]


As God as my witness, that is what they ALL say when they come in with objects up their ass.



Hey Greywolf2112, since you sell/sold insurance for a living just how is it that ya know this? Is there something ya want to tell us?

Have ya been hanging out at the ER or are there bringing these misplaced items to you?


I'm a Rad Tech now, and working at the busiest hospital in Florida. We see some pretty strange shit.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 6:35:25 PM EDT
For instance, we had one guy with a full-size Noxema jar in his rectum. Would have LOVED to have been in the surgery on that one.

Link Posted: 8/18/2005 6:39:47 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/18/2005 6:41:44 PM EDT by Zippy_The_Wonderdog]
Every Saturday night I walk into the ER and yell "Guess what I got "up there" NOW boys and girls!"
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 6:41:39 PM EDT
Not this topic again. Please. I have just recovered from the fish.
Link Posted: 8/18/2005 6:46:59 PM EDT
<Bad Santa> You're not gonna shit right for a week!<Bad Santa>

Link Posted: 8/19/2005 2:07:02 AM EDT
Used ot be engaged to an OR nurse. One time they had a guy who got a little frisky with his GF and he ended up with a dildo puncturing his colon and getting stuck. This happened on a thursday and he didn't come in until Sunday. The reason being that he didn't want o explain it to his WIFE. So, he lets his shit enter his guts for a few days, gets nice and infected and nearly dies before going in. Since the docs and nurses are bound by patient confidentiality, his wife and kids have no idea what's really going on while he's in surgery.

All they were told was that he had a "laproscopic exploratory surgery with a foreign body removal".

Dave
Link Posted: 8/19/2005 2:12:22 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/19/2005 2:12:43 AM EDT by swingset]
"Honest Doc, I was in the shower, I slipped, and landed on my buddy's penis."
Link Posted: 8/19/2005 2:41:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:

Originally Posted By Rodent:
One of my best friends is an ER doc. He hates his job, but at least it's not boring.

Today's story: A guy came in with the scabbord of a toy sword stuck so far up his butt that the doc couldn't get it. He had to be sent up to surgery.

And his story to the bitter end: He slipped in the shower and fell on it.



As God as my witness, that is what they ALL say when they come in with objects up their ass.



They ever mention wtf they were doing in the shower with a toy sword?
Link Posted: 8/19/2005 2:48:44 AM EDT
As I was taking a shower this morning, I took stock of the things one could potentially "fall" on. They included Shamu the whale, a pirate ship, a shark whose name I forget, and a Scooby-Do shampoo bottle.
Link Posted: 8/19/2005 2:52:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By hatebreed:

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:

Originally Posted By Rodent:
One of my best friends is an ER doc. He hates his job, but at least it's not boring.

Today's story: A guy came in with the scabbord of a toy sword stuck so far up his butt that the doc couldn't get it. He had to be sent up to surgery.

And his story to the bitter end: He slipped in the shower and fell on it.



As God as my witness, that is what they ALL say when they come in with objects up their ass.



They ever mention wtf they were doing in the shower with a toy sword?



Haha. Yeah, they should at least think of a better excuse. Even if that were the case, an adult who's in the shower playing with a toy sword is still a weirdo!

They should get creative. "Well doc, I was outside weed eating (weed eating is a manly job) around the kid's sandbox when suddenly I stirred up a nest of yellow jackets. Those bastards were eating me alive and I was ripping my clothes off to try to get em off me. In the chaos that followed, I tripped and fell into the sandbox and landed on my kid's sword that was wedged against the side, facing upward. That's how it happened."

Link Posted: 8/19/2005 2:56:33 AM EDT
BTW, I've heard friends who work in ER's describe some other peculiar findings. They have discussed numerous cases of women coming through with various weird fruits and vegetables "lodged" in a certain area of their body.

One particular case was rather gross. Apparently a peeled banana had broken off and a piece had remained inside there a few days. Let's just say from the description, the fruit sounded like it had become "over rippened".
Link Posted: 8/19/2005 3:22:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Charging_Handle:
BTW, I've heard friends who work in ER's describe some other peculiar findings. They have discussed numerous cases of women coming through with various weird fruits and vegetables "lodged" in a certain area of their body.

One particular case was rather gross. Apparently a peeled banana had broken off and a piece had remained inside there a few days. Let's just say from the description, the fruit sounded like it had become "over rippened".



Thanks...

I'll never look at the Chiquita banana girl the same way again
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