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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/2/2005 8:22:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/2/2005 8:22:28 AM EDT by DzlBenz]
... newbies who feel compelled to post every piece of InTarWeb bullshit!

One good turn deserves another:

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually AlQaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I will now return the favor.If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 pm and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits.I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of
a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:23:42 AM EDT
You CAN however still play with action figures.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:24:38 AM EDT
You're welcome and BTW: DUPE!!!
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:25:11 AM EDT


I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.


You forgot Diet Coke and how the aspertain kills people.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:25:17 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
I will now return the favor.If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 pm and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits.I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of
a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.



this is funny stuff man....i like it......
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:27:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By dvr9:
You're welcome and BTW: DUPE!!!



No man, I think this is a 'Photoshopped'!!!


ByteTheBullet (-:
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:29:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.



Yeah, but they're such yummy horrible mutant freaks, what with all the batter and such. Mmm, mmmm bitch!
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:30:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PhatForrest:

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.



Yeah, but they're such yummy horrible mutant freaks, what with all the batter and such. Mmm, mmmm bitch!

The Colonel puts a secret ingridient in there that makes you crave it fortnightly.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:37:26 AM EDT
Yes but there is always a bright side. For an example, if sustained properly for more than 15 minutes sex can be a good aerobic exercise. Take that from a realitively newbie.

Patty
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:56:10 AM EDT
You need a vacation from the GD!!

I don't even click on 90% of the dog shit in General Discussion.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 8:58:50 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:

Originally Posted By PhatForrest:

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.



Yeah, but they're such yummy horrible mutant freaks, what with all the batter and such. Mmm, mmmm bitch!

The Colonel puts a secret ingridient in there that makes you crave it fortnightly.



OOOO I hated the Colonel with his wee beady eyes!!
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 9:00:39 AM EDT
Great thread!!!!!!
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