Stupid B$*#& STOLE MY FRIGGIN PIZZA!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Stupid B$*#& STOLE MY FRIGGIN PIZZA! (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:41:15 AM EDT

ok, background, I work weekends. I sometimes order a large pizza on friday night and keep it in the fridge through the weekend and graze on it over the whole weekend. so much to my suprise as I start to finally get a bit hungry today at 1230 I go to grab a slice, only problem is: there is only half a pizza left. I ate 2 slices of the 8 slice pizza last night. I notice that the fat cow that is the finance lady here is just leaving, so after she leaves I take a peek in her office(I have the keys to everything) and notice that there is pizza stained napkins and paper plates in her wastebasket.

my name is on the pizza box in BIG ASSED MAGIC MARKER WRITING! does anyone have respect for other peoples stuff? seriously, this bitch makes over $100k a year, why is she taking my stuff? If she so much as asked, I wouldnt have a problem unfortunately she does a suprise raid on my pizza(chicken and bacon dominos, really good stuf btw) and takes off with 1/4 of it.

its not the fact that it costs money that pisses me off, it is the principle behind it.

and just to halt the posts before they happen, I wouldnt hit this thing with a stolen pecker, I wouldnt wish this cow on anyone- no matter how much I despise them.

and I'm spent.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:44:06 AM EDT

[#1]

Send a bill to her.

If she doesn't want to pay, report her fatass.

I hate thieves.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:44:32 AM EDT

[#2]

You poor poor bastard. Draw down or nuke from orbit

+1 on the bill:

1 slice of an 8 slice $14.99 pizza = 1.88 a slice go for it!

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:45:26 AM EDT

[#3]

Damn............. that sucks

I'd go to " 'da man" on her................ Hr that is if you have one

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:45:30 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
ok, background, I work weekends. I sometimes order a large pizza on friday night and keep it in the fridge through the weekend and graze on it over the whole weekend. so much to my suprise as I start to finally get a bit hungry today at 1230 I go to grab a slice, only problem is: there is only half a pizza left. I ate 2 slices of the 8 slice pizza last night. I notice that the fat cow that is the finance lady here is just leaving, so after she leaves I take a peek in her office(I have the keys to everything) and notice that there is pizza stained napkins and paper plates in her wastebasket.

my name is on the pizza box in BIG ASSED MAGIC MARKER WRITING! does anyone have respect for other peoples stuff? seriously, this bitch makes over $100k a year, why is she taking my stuff? If she so much as asked, I wouldnt have a problem unfortunately she does a suprise raid on my pizza(chicken and bacon dominos, really good stuf btw) and takes off with 1/4 of it.

its not the fact that it costs money that pisses me off, it is the principle behind it.

and just to halt the posts before they happen, I wouldnt hit this thing with a stolen pecker, I wouldnt wish this cow on anyone- no matter how much I despise them.

and I'm spent.

Mmmm, chicken and bacon....

It irritates me. What's yours is yours, and it's yours.

Not anyone elses.

It's f%cking kindergarten learning, but adults don't seem to know that.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:45:41 AM EDT

[#5]

I never leave a lunch in one of the FRIDGES at work, your meal will end up MIA.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:45:51 AM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
Send a bill to her.

If she doesn't want to pay, report her fatass.

I hate thieves.

leaving an accounts payable invoice on her desk has crossed my mind

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:46:17 AM EDT

[#7]

Next time you put a pizza in there, make sure she sees you unload a huge sneeze on it just before you close the lid.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:46:18 AM EDT

[#8]

That would infuriate me !!!

I'd want to do all sorts of bad things in her office (involving unspeakable bodily functions and various pieces of furniture) - but I'd probably try to be nice and just leave her a note asking if she saw who STOLE your food out of the fridge. After all, she was there when the food was stolen, and was around - so maybe she saw who it was (hint, hint, bitch!). At least that way she knows you're on to her.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:46:20 AM EDT

[#9]

Get the biggest juiciest pizza ever and load that fucker up with ExLax

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:46:23 AM EDT

[#10]

TRH, she doesn't drive a Jeep, does she?

If she has a jeep, you can do the MrClean4Hire method of Jeep top removal...

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:47:00 AM EDT

[#11]

Get creative with the Ex Lax, she sounds like she could use a colon cleansing anyway.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:47:06 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
I never leave a lunch in one of the FRIDGES at work, your meal will end up MIA.

typically its safe sailing here during the weekend with only 2-3 regulars who show up on the weekends to catch up on work. this lady very rarely shows up on a saturday and never on a sunday.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:47:35 AM EDT

[#13]

next time, spike it with a super laxative.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:47:43 AM EDT

[#14]

At least now you won't get constipated

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:48:03 AM EDT

[#15]

Draw down.

You know you've got to do it.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:49:26 AM EDT

[#16]

Let it slide, then when you order it again, write your name, and "Don't Eat My Fucking Pizza Again." on it. Write a note stating the same, and put it INSIDE the box.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:50:31 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Draw down.

You know you've got to do it.

she already left, drawing down on the frige wont do much other than scaring whatever employee might be walking by at the time.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:55:10 AM EDT

[#18]

Bring one in thats sat out for 2 days in the nice hot weather. A little food poisening never hurt anyone. Put do not eat on it and if she gets sick well, you DID mark it do not eat. Lil pepper spray works well also. Make sure the water is off for the weekend.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:56:26 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Bring one in thats sat out for 2 days in the nice hot weather. A little food poisening never hurt anyone. Put do not eat on it and if she gets sick well, you DID mark it do not eat. Lil pepper spray works well also. Make sure the water is off for the weekend.

that is the thing, I typically dump about 5 or 6 packets of red peppers on my pizza, didnt deter her. perhaps next time I'll bring in my daves total insanity sauce and dab a bit here and there.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:57:34 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Draw down.

You know you've got to do it.

she already left, drawing down on the frige wont do much other than scaring whatever employee might be walking by at the time.

It's the frige's fault. It let her do it.

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:58:30 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Bring one in thats sat out for 2 days in the nice hot weather. A little food poisening never hurt anyone. Put do not eat on it and if she gets sick well, you DID mark it do not eat. Lil pepper spray works well also. Make sure the water is off for the weekend.

that is the thing, I typically dump about 5 or 6 packets of red peppers on my pizza, didnt deter her. perhaps next time I'll bring in my daves total insanity sauce and dab a bit here and there.

If she knows that milk (not water) is the cure for too hot hot sauce, get a quart of two month old milk and leave it handy...

Posted: 8/13/2005 11:59:41 AM EDT

[#22]

'Lunch Box Bandit' my homie pissed in the milk carton.....perp was pukeing all da' way to the can

....if it aint yours leave it alone

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:02:01 PM EDT

[#23]

I would leave her a bill on her door so everyone can see it. Big letters too.

Or take a pic of her and leave it on your next pizza and say this means you!

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:02:45 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Bring one in thats sat out for 2 days in the nice hot weather. A little food poisening never hurt anyone. Put do not eat on it and if she gets sick well, you DID mark it do not eat. Lil pepper spray works well also. Make sure the water is off for the weekend.

that is the thing, I typically dump about 5 or 6 packets of red peppers on my pizza, didnt deter her. perhaps next time I'll bring in my daves total insanity sauce and dab a bit here and there.

I am talking about "halt" or the Capsium sprays, I was being a smartass one day and put one little drop on something, then chewed it, the short story is that my sinusus were cleaned out in short order, and the inside of my mouth burned for a while. I have heard dave is some pretty hot stuff, never tried it tho.

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:04:34 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
I am talking about "halt" or the Capsium sprays, I was being a smartass one day and put one little drop on something, then chewed it, the short story is that my sinusus were cleaned out in short order, and the inside of my mouth burned for a while. I have heard dave is some pretty hot stuff, never tried it tho.

pepper spray pales in comparison to daves, it is EVIL incarnate.

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:09:49 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Get the biggest juiciest pizza ever and load that fucker up with ExLax

Sounds good to me!

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:11:12 PM EDT

[#27]

I assume you work in an office(not a cubicle) and you might want a compact fridge to keep that Domino's away from hungry leeches.

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:12:29 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Get creative with the Ex Lax, she sounds like she could use a colon cleansing anyway.

+1 Or doctor it with something that tastes like absolute shit. Won't happen again.

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:15:12 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I am talking about "halt" or the Capsium sprays, I was being a smartass one day and put one little drop on something, then chewed it, the short story is that my sinusus were cleaned out in short order, and the inside of my mouth burned for a while. I have heard dave is some pretty hot stuff, never tried it tho.

pepper spray pales in comparison to daves, it is EVIL incarnate.

daves isnt that hot. there is way better stuff. try some of blairs sauces or maybe even some of this.

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:15:39 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Get creative with the Ex Lax, she sounds like she could use a colon cleansing anyway.

+1 Or doctor it with something that tastes like absolute shit. Won't happen again.

You know what tastes EXACTLY like shit?

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:18:56 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Get creative with the Ex Lax, she sounds like she could use a colon cleansing anyway.

+1 Or doctor it with something that tastes like absolute shit. Won't happen again.

You know what tastes EXACTLY like shit?

Shit?

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:23:23 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
ok, background, I work weekends. I sometimes order a large pizza on friday night and keep it in the fridge through the weekend and graze on it over the whole weekend. so much to my suprise as I start to finally get a bit hungry today at 1230 I go to grab a slice, only problem is: there is only half a pizza left. I ate 2 slices of the 8 slice pizza last night. I notice that the fat cow that is the finance lady here is just leaving, so after she leaves I take a peek in her office(I have the keys to everything) and notice that there is pizza stained napkins and paper plates in her wastebasket.

my name is on the pizza box in BIG ASSED MAGIC MARKER WRITING! does anyone have respect for other peoples stuff? seriously, this bitch makes over $100k a year, why is she taking my stuff? If she so much as asked, I wouldnt have a problem unfortunately she does a suprise raid on my pizza(chicken and bacon dominos, really good stuf btw) and takes off with 1/4 of it.

its not the fact that it costs money that pisses me off, it is the principle behind it.

and just to halt the posts before they happen, I wouldnt hit this thing with a stolen pecker, I wouldnt wish this cow on anyone- no matter how much I despise them.

and I'm spent.

Simple. Put the remainder right in the middle of her fucking desk, with a note stating "here STEAL the f'n REST of it why don't you", and set HR on her Monday AM. Cram the whole office personnel machine up her ass.

Posted: 8/13/2005 12:25:45 PM EDT

[#33]

A while back (several housemates ago), I had one that never had his shit together. Constantly borrowing money from me (which I lent because he did pay me back with unfailing reliablilty). Well, I never marked my food before, or watched it or anything because all of my other housemates, past and present, DIDN'T EAT WHAT WASN'T THEIRS. Well, this guy ate half a pan of some spiced beef, potato and onion thing I baked up without asking me (if he had I might have even let him have a bowl). The joke was on him, because he had to go into work early the next day...and the stuff I made wasn't simply dinner...it was entertainment. I had laced it with pot, and he ended up sleeping halfway through the next day.

"Oh man, I can't believe I slept this late...what the hell?" "Yeah, you ate my drug food you son of a bitch, and furthermore you owe me money for it."

Damn, I was seriously glad to be rid of that guy when he finally found a different place.

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:19:45 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Send a bill to her.

If she doesn't want to pay, report her fatass.

I hate thieves.

leaving an accounts payable invoice on her desk has crossed my mind

Do it. Submit to her an itemized invoice for it. CC her supervisor if you have to.

They take that shit seriously were I work. People have been fired for stealing shit out of the fridge, and that's no joke.

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:22:06 PM EDT

[#35]

I think a SPIKED pizza left in the fridge is in order.

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:22:26 PM EDT

[#36]

Knock her fat ass out. Land a haymaker right in her fat pizza stained face and put that bitch DOWN.

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:24:30 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Knock her fat ass out. Land a haymaker right in her fat pizza stained face and put that bitch DOWN.

yeah great idea, lay some fat worthless bitch out and give up a job where I get a decent wage, can do my college homework at work, and can surf the internet at work.

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:24:51 PM EDT

[#38]

Sounds like her desktop computer needs to be formatted..........

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:25:11 PM EDT

[#39]

I use to bring Mountain Dews in the 20 oz bottles by the six pack to work and put them in the fridge. Someone was stealing mine every so often. I finally put a little note on them that said "I pissed in one of these. Take your chance on which one it was" That stopped the thievery.

Leave something similar on your pizza.

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:25:48 PM EDT

[#40]

OK... BUY the same pizza.

Take pictures of your penis on it.

Put the picture on her desk.

She will NEVER know it wasn't the same pizza she ate.

She'll never touch another pizza again.

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:28:13 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
OK... BUY the same pizza.

Take pictures of your penis on it.

Put the picture on her desk.

She will NEVER know it wasn't the same pizza she ate.

She'll never touch another pizza again.

are you kidding me? this freak would probably steal the rest of it as the first taste of cock she's had in years. then she'd start stalking me like she does the mail clerk<shudders>

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:29:48 PM EDT

[#42]

Just leave the empty pizza box on her desk, after writing on it "THIEVES SUCK!" with a large
permanent marker.

And leave a bill for the cost.

CJ

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:32:27 PM EDT

[#43]

If I was leaving pizzas laying around I'd poke holes in the box and put locks on it. Not that I should need to, but these are just the times we live in.

Digital

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:33:57 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
If I was leaving pizzas laying around I'd poke holes in the box and put locks on it. Not that I should need to, but these are just the times we live in.

Digital

now that is an idea, cut holes in it and slap a BIG ASSED padlock on it. hmm.....

Posted: 8/13/2005 1:40:48 PM EDT

[#45]

I say that you go by her desk, and if she's having a cup of coffee or a soda, very naturally walk by and take it and drink about 3/4 of it and put the drink down and walk off.

She'd sit there with her jaw dropped and would have to say something to you. Tell her "Well I figured since we were sharing stuff, you wouldn't mind".

Posted: 8/13/2005 2:02:18 PM EDT

[#46]

Three words: Fake dog poo.

Posted: 8/13/2005 2:05:50 PM EDT

[#47]

Better stuff it in her... Oh wait

I'd either put something nasty on the next one for her, or write in big magic marker "This is TheRedHorseman's pizza. Do not eat. This means you, (bitch's name)." Or maybe both.

Posted: 8/13/2005 2:12:32 PM EDT

[#48]

Fat cows at the hospital used to steal out of other people's lunch boxes. I hate a damn thief. You should confront her on it and let her know if she ever steals from you again you'll embarass the hell out of her in front of everybody.

Posted: 8/13/2005 2:13:58 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:
I think a SPIKED pizza left in the fridge is in order.

yeah, but then you can never leave your food in the fridge again because you'll have to watch out for her round 2 revenge

I think you should confront her face to face and demand payment.

Use a digital voice recorder too so she can't tell HR you sexually harrased her or some other bs.

Posted: 8/13/2005 2:14:56 PM EDT

[#50]

A little USN magic will help. Aboard ship things get ripped off all the time. A guy comes back drunk and hungry will raid the work center's refer eating and drinking whatever he wants ... but not in my shop.

I mark all my food and drink and then "mark" it. Just let it be known that you lick every piece of food you put in the 'fridge. Aboard ship we also "dirty dick" our soft drinks at random ... figure it out. Bottom line is that nobody is going to touch your stuff after the first time you demonstrate your "markings" - or just start the rumor.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Stupid B$*#& STOLE MY FRIGGIN PIZZA! (Page 1 of 2)

General » General Discussion

Warning

Confirm Action

About AR15.COM

Stay Connected

Newsletter

Contact Us