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Posted: 8/13/2005 11:41:15 AM EDT
ok, background, I work weekends. I sometimes order a large pizza on friday night and keep it in the fridge through the weekend and graze on it over the whole weekend. so much to my suprise as I start to finally get a bit hungry today at 1230 I go to grab a slice, only problem is: there is only half a pizza left. I ate 2 slices of the 8 slice pizza last night. I notice that the fat cow that is the finance lady here is just leaving, so after she leaves I take a peek in her office(I have the keys to everything) and notice that there is pizza stained napkins and paper plates in her wastebasket.

my name is on the pizza box in BIG ASSED MAGIC MARKER WRITING! does anyone have respect for other peoples stuff? seriously, this bitch makes over $100k a year, why is she taking my stuff? If she so much as asked, I wouldnt have a problem unfortunately she does a suprise raid on my pizza(chicken and bacon dominos, really good stuf btw) and takes off with 1/4 of it.

its not the fact that it costs money that pisses me off, it is the principle behind it.

and just to halt the posts before they happen, I wouldnt hit this thing with a stolen pecker, I wouldnt wish this cow on anyone- no matter how much I despise them.

and I'm spent.

Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:44:06 AM EDT
Send a bill to her.

If she doesn't want to pay, report her fatass.

I hate thieves.


Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:44:32 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/13/2005 11:46:31 AM EDT by w4klr]
You poor poor bastard. Draw down or nuke from orbit

+1 on the bill:

1 slice of an 8 slice $14.99 pizza = 1.88 a slice go for it!
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:45:26 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/13/2005 11:46:27 AM EDT by Dru]
Damn............. that sucks
I'd go to " 'da man" on her................ Hr that is if you have one
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:45:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:
ok, background, I work weekends. I sometimes order a large pizza on friday night and keep it in the fridge through the weekend and graze on it over the whole weekend. so much to my suprise as I start to finally get a bit hungry today at 1230 I go to grab a slice, only problem is: there is only half a pizza left. I ate 2 slices of the 8 slice pizza last night. I notice that the fat cow that is the finance lady here is just leaving, so after she leaves I take a peek in her office(I have the keys to everything) and notice that there is pizza stained napkins and paper plates in her wastebasket.

my name is on the pizza box in BIG ASSED MAGIC MARKER WRITING! does anyone have respect for other peoples stuff? seriously, this bitch makes over $100k a year, why is she taking my stuff? If she so much as asked, I wouldnt have a problem unfortunately she does a suprise raid on my pizza(chicken and bacon dominos, really good stuf btw) and takes off with 1/4 of it.

its not the fact that it costs money that pisses me off, it is the principle behind it.

and just to halt the posts before they happen, I wouldnt hit this thing with a stolen pecker, I wouldnt wish this cow on anyone- no matter how much I despise them.

and I'm spent.



Mmmm, chicken and bacon....

It irritates me. What's yours is yours, and it's yours.

Not anyone elses.

It's f%cking kindergarten learning, but adults don't seem to know that.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:45:41 AM EDT
I never leave a lunch in one of the FRIDGES at work, your meal will end up MIA.

Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:45:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By JarheadChiro:
Send a bill to her.

If she doesn't want to pay, report her fatass.

I hate thieves.





leaving an accounts payable invoice on her desk has crossed my mind
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:46:17 AM EDT
Next time you put a pizza in there, make sure she sees you unload a huge sneeze on it just before you close the lid.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:46:18 AM EDT
That would infuriate me !!!


I'd want to do all sorts of bad things in her office (involving unspeakable bodily functions and various pieces of furniture) - but I'd probably try to be nice and just leave her a note asking if she saw who STOLE your food out of the fridge. After all, she was there when the food was stolen, and was around - so maybe she saw who it was (hint, hint, bitch!). At least that way she knows you're on to her.



Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:46:20 AM EDT
Get the biggest juiciest pizza ever and load that fucker up with ExLax
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:46:23 AM EDT
TRH, she doesn't drive a Jeep, does she?

If she has a jeep, you can do the MrClean4Hire method of Jeep top removal...
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:47:00 AM EDT
Get creative with the Ex Lax, she sounds like she could use a colon cleansing anyway.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:47:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 1shott:
I never leave a lunch in one of the FRIDGES at work, your meal will end up MIA.




typically its safe sailing here during the weekend with only 2-3 regulars who show up on the weekends to catch up on work. this lady very rarely shows up on a saturday and never on a sunday.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:47:35 AM EDT
next time, spike it with a super laxative.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:47:43 AM EDT
At least now you won't get constipated
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:48:03 AM EDT
Draw down.

You know you've got to do it.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:49:26 AM EDT
Let it slide, then when you order it again, write your name, and "Don't Eat My Fucking Pizza Again." on it. Write a note stating the same, and put it INSIDE the box.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:50:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Ranger_SXT:
Draw down.

You know you've got to do it.



she already left, drawing down on the frige wont do much other than scaring whatever employee might be walking by at the time.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:55:10 AM EDT
Bring one in thats sat out for 2 days in the nice hot weather. A little food poisening never hurt anyone. Put do not eat on it and if she gets sick well, you DID mark it do not eat. Lil pepper spray works well also. Make sure the water is off for the weekend.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:56:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By fxntime:
Bring one in thats sat out for 2 days in the nice hot weather. A little food poisening never hurt anyone. Put do not eat on it and if she gets sick well, you DID mark it do not eat. Lil pepper spray works well also. Make sure the water is off for the weekend.



that is the thing, I typically dump about 5 or 6 packets of red peppers on my pizza, didnt deter her. perhaps next time I'll bring in my daves total insanity sauce and dab a bit here and there.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:57:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:

Originally Posted By Ranger_SXT:
Draw down.

You know you've got to do it.



she already left, drawing down on the frige wont do much other than scaring whatever employee might be walking by at the time.



It's the frige's fault. It let her do it.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:58:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:

Originally Posted By fxntime:
Bring one in thats sat out for 2 days in the nice hot weather. A little food poisening never hurt anyone. Put do not eat on it and if she gets sick well, you DID mark it do not eat. Lil pepper spray works well also. Make sure the water is off for the weekend.



that is the thing, I typically dump about 5 or 6 packets of red peppers on my pizza, didnt deter her. perhaps next time I'll bring in my daves total insanity sauce and dab a bit here and there.



If she knows that milk (not water) is the cure for too hot hot sauce, get a quart of two month old milk and leave it handy...

Link Posted: 8/13/2005 11:59:41 AM EDT
'Lunch Box Bandit' my homie pissed in the milk carton.....perp was pukeing all da' way to the can....if it aint yours leave it alone
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:02:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/13/2005 12:04:09 PM EDT by MrClean4Hire]
I would leave her a bill on her door so everyone can see it. Big letters too.


Or take a pic of her and leave it on your next pizza and say this means you!
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:02:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:

Originally Posted By fxntime:
Bring one in thats sat out for 2 days in the nice hot weather. A little food poisening never hurt anyone. Put do not eat on it and if she gets sick well, you DID mark it do not eat. Lil pepper spray works well also. Make sure the water is off for the weekend.



that is the thing, I typically dump about 5 or 6 packets of red peppers on my pizza, didnt deter her. perhaps next time I'll bring in my daves total insanity sauce and dab a bit here and there.




I am talking about "halt" or the Capsium sprays, I was being a smartass one day and put one little drop on something, then chewed it, the short story is that my sinusus were cleaned out in short order, and the inside of my mouth burned for a while. I have heard dave is some pretty hot stuff, never tried it tho.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:04:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fxntime:
I am talking about "halt" or the Capsium sprays, I was being a smartass one day and put one little drop on something, then chewed it, the short story is that my sinusus were cleaned out in short order, and the inside of my mouth burned for a while. I have heard dave is some pretty hot stuff, never tried it tho.



pepper spray pales in comparison to daves, it is EVIL incarnate.

Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:09:49 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:11:12 PM EDT
I assume you work in an office(not a cubicle) and you might want a compact fridge to keep that Domino's away from hungry leeches.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:12:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Gunslinger808:
Get creative with the Ex Lax, she sounds like she could use a colon cleansing anyway.



+1 Or doctor it with something that tastes like absolute shit. Won't happen again.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:15:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:

Originally Posted By fxntime:
I am talking about "halt" or the Capsium sprays, I was being a smartass one day and put one little drop on something, then chewed it, the short story is that my sinusus were cleaned out in short order, and the inside of my mouth burned for a while. I have heard dave is some pretty hot stuff, never tried it tho.



pepper spray pales in comparison to daves, it is EVIL incarnate.




daves isnt that hot. there is way better stuff. try some of blairs sauces or maybe even some of this.

Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:15:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TexasSIG:

Originally Posted By Gunslinger808:
Get creative with the Ex Lax, she sounds like she could use a colon cleansing anyway.



+1 Or doctor it with something that tastes like absolute shit. Won't happen again.




You know what tastes EXACTLY like shit?

Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:18:56 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

Originally Posted By TexasSIG:

Originally Posted By Gunslinger808:
Get creative with the Ex Lax, she sounds like she could use a colon cleansing anyway.



+1 Or doctor it with something that tastes like absolute shit. Won't happen again.




You know what tastes EXACTLY like shit?



Shit?
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:23:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:
ok, background, I work weekends. I sometimes order a large pizza on friday night and keep it in the fridge through the weekend and graze on it over the whole weekend. so much to my suprise as I start to finally get a bit hungry today at 1230 I go to grab a slice, only problem is: there is only half a pizza left. I ate 2 slices of the 8 slice pizza last night. I notice that the fat cow that is the finance lady here is just leaving, so after she leaves I take a peek in her office(I have the keys to everything) and notice that there is pizza stained napkins and paper plates in her wastebasket.

my name is on the pizza box in BIG ASSED MAGIC MARKER WRITING! does anyone have respect for other peoples stuff? seriously, this bitch makes over $100k a year, why is she taking my stuff? If she so much as asked, I wouldnt have a problem unfortunately she does a suprise raid on my pizza(chicken and bacon dominos, really good stuf btw) and takes off with 1/4 of it.

its not the fact that it costs money that pisses me off, it is the principle behind it.

and just to halt the posts before they happen, I wouldnt hit this thing with a stolen pecker, I wouldnt wish this cow on anyone- no matter how much I despise them.

and I'm spent.


Simple. Put the remainder right in the middle of her fucking desk, with a note stating "here STEAL the f'n REST of it why don't you", and set HR on her Monday AM. Cram the whole office personnel machine up her ass.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 12:25:45 PM EDT
A while back (several housemates ago), I had one that never had his shit together. Constantly borrowing money from me (which I lent because he did pay me back with unfailing reliablilty). Well, I never marked my food before, or watched it or anything because all of my other housemates, past and present, DIDN'T EAT WHAT WASN'T THEIRS. Well, this guy ate half a pan of some spiced beef, potato and onion thing I baked up without asking me (if he had I might have even let him have a bowl). The joke was on him, because he had to go into work early the next day...and the stuff I made wasn't simply dinner...it was entertainment. I had laced it with pot, and he ended up sleeping halfway through the next day.

"Oh man, I can't believe I slept this late...what the hell?" "Yeah, you ate my drug food you son of a bitch, and furthermore you owe me money for it."

Damn, I was seriously glad to be rid of that guy when he finally found a different place.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:19:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/13/2005 1:23:46 PM EDT by napalm]

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:

Originally Posted By JarheadChiro:
Send a bill to her.

If she doesn't want to pay, report her fatass.

I hate thieves.





leaving an accounts payable invoice on her desk has crossed my mind




Do it. Submit to her an itemized invoice for it. CC her supervisor if you have to.


They take that shit seriously were I work. People have been fired for stealing shit out of the fridge, and that's no joke.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:22:06 PM EDT
I think a SPIKED pizza left in the fridge is in order.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:22:26 PM EDT
Knock her fat ass out. Land a haymaker right in her fat pizza stained face and put that bitch DOWN.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:24:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By IchWarrior:
Knock her fat ass out. Land a haymaker right in her fat pizza stained face and put that bitch DOWN.



yeah great idea, lay some fat worthless bitch out and give up a job where I get a decent wage, can do my college homework at work, and can surf the internet at work.


Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:24:51 PM EDT
Sounds like her desktop computer needs to be formatted..........
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:25:11 PM EDT
I use to bring Mountain Dews in the 20 oz bottles by the six pack to work and put them in the fridge. Someone was stealing mine every so often. I finally put a little note on them that said "I pissed in one of these. Take your chance on which one it was" That stopped the thievery.

Leave something similar on your pizza.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:25:48 PM EDT
OK... BUY the same pizza.

Take pictures of your penis on it.

Put the picture on her desk.

She will NEVER know it wasn't the same pizza she ate.

She'll never touch another pizza again.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:28:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:
OK... BUY the same pizza.

Take pictures of your penis on it.

Put the picture on her desk.

She will NEVER know it wasn't the same pizza she ate.

She'll never touch another pizza again.



are you kidding me? this freak would probably steal the rest of it as the first taste of cock she's had in years. then she'd start stalking me like she does the mail clerk<shudders>
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:29:48 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:32:27 PM EDT
If I was leaving pizzas laying around I'd poke holes in the box and put locks on it. Not that I should need to, but these are just the times we live in.


Digital
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:33:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Digitalpunk:
If I was leaving pizzas laying around I'd poke holes in the box and put locks on it. Not that I should need to, but these are just the times we live in.


Digital



now that is an idea, cut holes in it and slap a BIG ASSED padlock on it. hmm.....
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:40:48 PM EDT
I say that you go by her desk, and if she's having a cup of coffee or a soda, very naturally walk by and take it and drink about 3/4 of it and put the drink down and walk off.

She'd sit there with her jaw dropped and would have to say something to you. Tell her "Well I figured since we were sharing stuff, you wouldn't mind".
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 2:02:18 PM EDT
Three words: Fake dog poo.

Link Posted: 8/13/2005 2:05:50 PM EDT
Better stuff it in her... Oh wait

I'd either put something nasty on the next one for her, or write in big magic marker "This is TheRedHorseman's pizza. Do not eat. This means you, (bitch's name)." Or maybe both.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 2:12:32 PM EDT
Fat cows at the hospital used to steal out of other people's lunch boxes. I hate a damn thief. You should confront her on it and let her know if she ever steals from you again you'll embarass the hell out of her in front of everybody.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 2:13:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:
I think a SPIKED pizza left in the fridge is in order.



yeah, but then you can never leave your food in the fridge again because you'll have to watch out for her round 2 revenge

I think you should confront her face to face and demand payment.

Use a digital voice recorder too so she can't tell HR you sexually harrased her or some other bs.

Link Posted: 8/13/2005 2:14:56 PM EDT
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