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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/1/2005 5:51:01 AM EDT
Let me start off by saying this is in NO WAY meant to downplay the situation in the south with regards to the hurricane. I have the greatest sympathy for those affected by the tragedy that was Hurricane Katrina. My company has a branch office in New Orleans, and of the 7 employees there, 6 have no homes to return to. It's a very sad situation, and the work that the New Orleans office handles daily has been heaped on my team in my office in Massachusetts, and all the agents here are stressed to the max, overworked, tired, and crabby.

SO. That being said. We need some lightheartedness on the board, and we need it soon.

Anyone have any thoughts?

I'm going to start off with a pretty good blonde joke I heard today.....here ya go..and I'm blonde...so no blonde bashing intended.

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive
double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week, I got a call from
the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year
and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy, oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean
that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his
fast-talking sales guy had told me last year... that in one year the
windows would pay for themselves.

There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up, and
he hasn't called back.

Guess he felt really stupid, huh???

Link Posted: 9/1/2005 5:58:38 AM EDT
that was a good one Daisy! Patty
Link Posted: 9/1/2005 6:19:10 AM EDT
this is supposed to be a Catholic joke (im Catholic, so its ok) but i have been to many other churches and these seem fairly universal

btw, by these definitions, im a RELIC

Subject: Catholic Dictionary

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the
Congregation to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than
that of the congregation's range.

HYMN, RECESSIONAL : The last song at Mass often sung a little more
quietly, since most of the people have already left.


JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges
with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize
besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio ever to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered
by an HMO. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always
been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass
consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led
by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually
know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating
capacity of a pew.
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