A friend sent these to me recently...


Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

       This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.  





   

 
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
     No, really?
 


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
      Now that's taking things a bit far!
 


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
      What a guy!
   


Miners Refuse to Work after Death
      No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
 


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
       See if that works any better than a fair trial!
 
War Dims Hope for Peace
     I can see where it might have that effect!




If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile  
Ya think?!




Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
     Who would have thought!






Enfield (  London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide  
They may be on to something!






Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
     You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
Oklahoma's construction program!


 
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
    He probably IS the battery charge






New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!


 
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
      That's what he gets for eating those beans!


 
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
      Do they taste like chicken?






  Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
      Chainsaw Massacre all over again!






Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors


      Boy, are they tall!
 
And the winner is....


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


    Did I read that right?

Now that there's funny. I don't care who you are!

Thanks!

The last one had me in effing TEARS, I tell you!!