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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 6/2/2002 8:43:27 PM EDT
During work today, I was standing at the counter. There was this peice of fermica(sp?) trim, about 2 inches wide that had came loose and kept catching on my pants. It was getting annoying. So, I see the stapler sitting on the counter, so I get the bright idea to staple the fermica back to the counter!! I open the stapler up, like so you can staple things to walls, and proceed to smack it a few times. I missed a couple times, but I was starting to hit the trim after a few more times. I realized then that the staples were just denting the firmica, when falling out. I think to myself, "hmm.. maybe I need to hit the stapler harder...". So, I go grab a rubber mallet. I place the stapler directly over the firmica peice, so they are touching. I smack it a few times with the mallet. The staples didnt seem to go through the firmica. So, I say fuck it, and place the stapler back on the counter, and return the mallet. Next time I go to use the stapler, I find out that the thing that the staples fit it is jammed in it, and the top is swinging wildly. I go get a screw driver and pry the thing open. Turns out, I broke the stapler w/ the mallet apparently. After confirming it with 3 other countermen, and 4 or 5 customers, we all decide it's life has ended. So I toss her into the trash, and grab the one of of my bosses desk. They are gonna be pissed tomorrow... oh well. I wonder what they are going to think when they review the tapes and see an employee smacking a stapler with a big mallet against a cabinet. hahah. Sorry folks, no injuries occured to me during this incident. I'm sure I did disapoint you, however, I will tell you this... In first grade (I still vividly remember this), I [b]purposely[/b] stuck my thumb under a stapler, and jumped on the top of it. I sent a staple through my thumb. Boy, that fucker hurt. Bled a lot too.... When you look close, you can still see a scar from it..
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 8:53:06 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 8:59:57 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 9:00:24 PM EDT
Formica - and you live in what neighborhood?
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 9:06:29 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER: Formica - and you live in what neighborhood?
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It was at work!!! I have granit countertops, with tile in the bathroom.. Did I spell granit right??
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 9:10:28 PM EDT
Granite - we are going to have to dig a little deeper on this.
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 9:17:03 PM EDT
Let's see - You live in neighborhood where the median home price range is $800K - $1mil, yet you have to work on Sundays at a place that has a counter where the formica is coming loose. You are a computer guy that doesn't know the advantages of spell check, and think that you can use an office stapler to "tack" down the formica. It just doesn't add up.
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 9:33:55 PM EDT
Methinks Computer Guy is really Imbroglio.
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 9:45:53 PM EDT
And don't forget he wears $60 jeans!!! Your right it just does not add up!
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 9:50:46 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER: Let's see - You live in neighborhood where the median home price range is $800K - $1mil, yet you have to work on Sundays at a place that has a counter where the formica is coming loose. You are a computer guy that doesn't know the advantages of spell check, and think that you can use an office stapler to "tack" down the formica. It just doesn't add up.
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Oh, it adds up very nicely. I will explain it all some day. BTW, I can't EVER get spell check to load, that's why I have some errors. I thought stapling the fOrmica on would have been a good idea...
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 10:03:45 PM EDT
I've never thought of using a stapler on Formica. I usually make do with contact cement. [:)] Think of the accidents you could have with that!! [:D]
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 10:10:00 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ComputerGuy: Oh, it adds up very nicely. I will explain it all some day.
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Does it have to do with the death of an old woman?
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 12:48:02 AM EDT
When I saw the title of this post I was hoping there would be some pictures involving fingers, staples, and some blood. Darn...
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 1:10:16 AM EDT
two words.........DUCK TAPE
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 1:17:14 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2002 1:30:35 AM EDT by jerosu]
Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER: Let's see - You live in neighborhood where the median home price range is $800K - $1mil, yet you have to work on Sundays at a place that has a counter where the formica is coming loose. You are a computer guy that doesn't know the advantages of spell check, and think that you can use an office stapler to "tack" down the formica. It just doesn't add up.
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Or maybe most "computer guys" just don't know how to get Fermika [;)] to stick to the counter. Dim StaplerFormikaSticker as Tool BTW, CompGuy.... What kind of computer guy are you? Just wondering, I'll be graduating in a couple of weeks with my Bus/(lowly)MIS degree (from a college in Oregon that has OSU in it's name- go figure). Just use glue. I learned in 3rd grade you can't put a stapler through a countertop... no really, we're not smarter because we know computers... it just doesn't work. Edited to say: "I will explain it all some day"... Right, when the top-secret project is unclassified. Or, I guess he could have his own porn site?
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 1:19:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By varmitgun: two words.........DUCK TAPE
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Yeah "duck tape" will work great on "fermica". How about duct tape on formica. Of course using a mallet on duct tape isn't near as funny as what he described.
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 2:39:05 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ComputerGuy: BTW, I can't EVER get spell check to load, that's why I have some errors.
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How about using a word processor to write your posts, then cut and paste? Yes it is a couple of more steps, but it does work and there is less wait time for the board’s checker to load.
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 2:44:02 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 4:10:57 AM EDT
So, did you think the stapler would be ok after smashing it with a mallet? Did you think the formica would look more attractive after it had been stapled down to the counter? Ever hear of duct tape?
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 4:45:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/3/2002 4:48:02 AM EDT by djk]
Everyone knows formica gets fixed with glue, and if you have no glue you use scotch tape to hold the piece in place till you can get some glue. I really wouldn't want to be the guy next to you on the firing line when you are hammering away on your AR with that mallet of yours. Please stop giving us "computer guys" a bad name. I guess I've never worked anyplace where we had formica counters. Lots of Aluminum racks and such, but no formica. I do kinda like the way formica rolls off the end of my tongue though.....formica, formica, formica, formica, formica, formica, formica... Edit: Formica is fun to say, but not as fun as assclown. Now that's a word that's fun to say.
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 6:03:57 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 9:07:43 AM EDT
???
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 9:37:10 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 9:37:25 AM EDT
God you are definitely a software person!
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 9:41:25 PM EDT
I gotta meet this guy someday.With a little alchohol thrown in this could end up being seriously funny.I've missed alot,whats the toilet seat thing?Do I reall want to know?
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 9:58:59 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 1GUNRUNNER:
Originally Posted By ComputerGuy: Oh, it adds up very nicely. I will explain it all some day.
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Does it have to do with the death of an old woman?
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No, but you're on track.
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 9:59:44 PM EDT
I'm a CCNA.
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 10:00:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer: just for the record you wouldn't be a government employee would you? mike
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Last time I checked, nope! :-)
Link Posted: 6/3/2002 10:01:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SDavid:
Originally Posted By ComputerGuy: BTW, I can't EVER get spell check to load, that's why I have some errors.
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How about using a word processor to write your posts, then cut and paste? Yes it is a couple of more steps, but it does work and there is less wait time for the board’s checker to load.
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Some people are lazier than others...
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