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Posted: 3/1/2006 8:40:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/1/2006 8:43:26 PM EDT by distributor_of_pain]
Her first email to me is basically a one sentence "you're cute" kinda thing to get the ball rolling.
So, of course I go to check out her profile...



"I'm a thirty-something creative professional who enjoys all the wonderful activities Austin has to offer. Coffee spots, the hike and bike trails, art exhibits, live music, being with friends and spending time with my animals. I also love to play chess even though I stink at it. I enjoy academic conversations and discussing meaningful issues in a respectful way. I'm looking to meet and spend time with someone who is attractive, happy and stable, and who has some style and is culturally aware. And, to be honest, I tend to be attracted to younger, taller guys. The more liberal you are, the better since I am a vegetarian and believe in animal rights. If you are looking for an easy 'hook up,' or someone to 'hang out with,' then please do not contact me. I value physical fitness and health and expect anyone I date to do the same. If you're generally angry, overweight, an addict or recovering addict, or post photos of yourself without a shirt on taken in the bathroom, DO NOT CONTACT ME!! I'm looking forward to meeting highly intelligent, quality guys with a passion for life, a brilliant mind and a sincere heart with honorable intentions. I look forward to hearing from you."

I realize this is gonna go nowhere fast, but not one to miss the opportunity to convert a wayward soul, I reply:

" WOW!
You're a breath of fresh air! :)

I really respect your views on animal rights. Although I probably don't share them (depending on your reasons)- you practice what you preach. The world is full of meat eating anti-hunting people, and they drive me crazy. How can anyone be against hunting and eat meat???

...and I'm definitely not a Liberal. I proudly voted for Bush in both elections, and I'm still glad I did. I'm no yellow dog though! He's made me so mad lately I can't even see straight!!! LOL

Do you think there is anyway we could get past the distance between us, honey glazed ribs, and the GOP? :)

- my name here -

P.S. I don't hunt BTW. I have several firearms, and LOOOVE to target shoot, but I've just never been into hunting much. I guess I don't like deer meat enough to have 250 lbs. worth of it, and I'm not about to kill an animal just to give the meat to someone else."


Yeah whatever So I coddled her a little bit. I'm on a mission people!!!!

She responds:

"well....i really like your name, (my name), so that's a start. i don't know. the fact that you
wrote 'proudly' terrifies me to be honest.


you're funny, though and a good writer, so.....still don't know...you're totally right
about hunting activists though. i'm a vegetarian for ETHICAL reasons and don't wear/
have leather or eat anything with a face and also oppose hunting.

i doubt we could get past so many fundamental differences in our value systems. too
bad cause you are a cutie. but, no. i don't think so.

good luck!"



Forget what she said, I'm still in if I want in. So the question remains...what exactly should I do here


poll and pics incoming!
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:43:07 PM EDT
Stick it in her pooper and post pics?



Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:45:28 PM EDT
Be sure to check for Adams Apple...

Sounds like it could be Clean_Cut...!
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:45:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/1/2006 8:48:31 PM EDT by Painter]
The next letter should be something short like
"You aren't fundamentally opposed to meeting me for a glass of wine are you?"

ETA: Really, if you just rag on her for a while, she will probably do you just to make you like her. You know how liberals are!
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:46:48 PM EDT
Tell her you belive an animal rights as well, "the dead animal goes right next to the mashed potatos".
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:47:14 PM EDT
get comfortable with each other. and if you have the opportunity to "have fun" use a real "sheepskin" condom.
who knows me and the spouse have differences but not let it get in the way.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:47:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/1/2006 8:48:09 PM EDT by billparadise]

Originally Posted By sWs2:
Stick it in her pooper and post pics?






Ain't that the forbidden phrase?
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:47:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:48:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Painter:
The next letter should be something short like
"You aren't fundamentally opposed to meeting me for a glass of wine are you?"



nice
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:48:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By jim:
get comfortable with each other. and if you have the opportunity to "have fun" use a real "sheepskin" condom.
who knows me and the spouse have differences but not let it get in the way.



Now that!!! Is funny!
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:49:11 PM EDT
i can't be alone with people like that with enduring and supressing extreme fits of rage.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:51:40 PM EDT
All the time you will spend de-programming her is time that could be better spent in more agreeable company. Making a relationship work is hard enough when you share most of the same values and views - Dating outside your species makes it almost impossible.

Dump her, while it's still easy.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:52:11 PM EDT
No matter how good looking someone is... If she is single, it is becuase somewhere, someone, is sick of her shi&!. She is so hung up on so many things, If you two ever did get to the matress, she would be too rigid to enjoy it. And if you had a child could you put up with her force feeding him that liberal BS?
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:54:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By netwt12:
i can't be alone with people like that with enduring and supressing extreme fits of rage.



Yeah. I think the first vulger comment about "Bush and his terrorist buddies", would light the fuse. I have very little patience with people like that.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:55:09 PM EDT



Go for it man, ask her out on a date, she kind of looks like a high maintenance chick......




....I'm looking forward to meeting highly intelligent, quality guys....



Translation: "I want a rich man, who can take care of me... "

Good luck man.



Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:56:29 PM EDT
But think of all the fun you could have slipping some type of Beef slurry into her soup.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:56:55 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:57:32 PM EDT
Damn I need to find psycho chicks
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:57:37 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 888:


Go for it man, ask her out on a date, she kind of looks like a high maintenance chick......




....I'm looking forward to meeting highly intelligent, quality guys....



Translation: "I want a rich man, who can take care of me... "

Good luck man.






"And, to be honest, I tend to be attracted to younger, taller guys."

Don't forget that one.
She may want a suggar daddy at the end of the day, but that ain't the only thing on her wish list
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:57:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By thphilli:
But think of all the fun you could have slipping some type of Beef slurry into her soup.




LOL... that's what I'm talking about.....
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 8:58:41 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/1/2006 8:59:38 PM EDT by sWs2]

Originally Posted By billparadise:

Originally Posted By sWs2:
Stick it in her pooper and post pics?
<Snip>



Ain't that the forbidden phrase?


If it is I was not aware....
ETA: My use of the peeping smiley was to denote that I knew it's use was cliche...
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:01:32 PM EDT
Not worth the trouble and effort that would be required IMO.

The stank crotch is better left alone sometimes and this would be one of those times.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:02:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By distributor_of_pain:

Originally Posted By 888:


Go for it man, ask her out on a date, she kind of looks like a high maintenance chick......




....I'm looking forward to meeting highly intelligent, quality guys....



Translation: "I want a rich man, who can take care of me... "

Good luck man.






"And, to be honest, I tend to be attracted to younger, taller guys."

Don't forget that one.
She may want a suggar daddy at the end of the day, but that ain't the only thing on her wish list



Good to hear it....
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:03:42 PM EDT
So from the picture, the chin is strategically positioned to hide the Adam's apple and the picture is deliberately cut off from the shoulder down so you don't see the 400 lbs hanging from the neck. Trust me, the internet dating thing is highly overrated.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:03:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/1/2006 9:04:24 PM EDT by clement]

I'm looking to meet and spend time with someone who is attractive, happy and stable, and who has some style and is culturally aware.


She is looking for a gay male.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:06:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sWs2:
Stick it in her pooper and post pics?






Make sure to use "lamb skins"!
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:08:04 PM EDT
Shes probally neurotic , being single at her age , probally has "birthday partys for her cats"- and definatly would want to domineer you with her lib B.S. --- that being said ---- go hit dat !!
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:15:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Painter:
The next letter should be something short like
"You aren't fundamentally opposed to meeting me for a glass of wine are you?"

ETA: Really, if you just rag on her for a while, she will probably do you just to make you like her. You know how liberals are!



That's great!
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:17:39 PM EDT


Not worth your time, in my opinion.

Some just can't be helped.

I know plenty here will say to tell her you're not beyond convincing, play the role, nail her, and then be like "nope, your right, this just won't work."

But, good lord, there are so many beautiful, intelligent, regular conservative (or even better, libertarian) women out there... hell, some of them (a few at least) are even SANE, which this dame clearly is not.

Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:21:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 888:


Go for it man, ask her out on a date, she kind of looks like a high maintenance chick......




....I'm looking forward to meeting highly intelligent, quality guys....



Translation: "I want a rich man, who can take care of me... "

Good luck man.






That is the Liberal way.....

I say go out with her, see if you can open her up (especially between the thighs) to your views.
She might never have actually talked with someone who didn't spout the Liberal BS that she's been indoctrinated to.

Also, I've never eaten anything with a face.....we cut the heads off the fish, split the chicken into quarters, and grind and chop the cow, before we cook them.

Re-reading her info...she seems pretty shallow... "spending time with my animals",)means she has a house fuill of cats) "discussing meaningful issues in a respectful way" (means every sits around agreeing and don't want difference in thought), "someone who is attractive" (cause ugly people are not into coffee, hiking, biking, art exhibits, music, chess, happy, stable, or culturally aware).

No Expert
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:41:04 PM EDT
Tell her she is being very intolerant of other peoples beliefs.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:50:51 PM EDT
On a side note:

I just searched through what this one site had to offer. Are you sitting down for this one?

<­BR>



I'm not so sure about this online dating thing
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:58:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Taxman:
Damn I need to find psycho chicks



D_O_P might let this one go. Remember though, it would not be proper to show her your ammo fort until at least the third date.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 9:58:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By distributor_of_pain:
On a side note:

I just searched through what this one site had to offer. Are you sitting down for this one?



img130.imageshack.us/img130/7606/goodgod1zq.jpg

I'm not so sure about this online dating thing



That's one happy vampire!
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 10:13:45 PM EDT
There are plently of other fish in the sea... this bitch is going to find a man with no balls sooner or later.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 10:22:08 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 10:26:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/1/2006 10:29:55 PM EDT by ZW17]

Psycho Bitch

I'm a vegetarian for ETHICAL reasons and don't wear/have leather or eat anything with a face



You can forget kinky sex and a 3some with another girl with this sentence alone.

Link Posted: 3/1/2006 10:33:26 PM EDT
[snip]If you are looking for an easy 'hook up,' or someone to 'hang out with,' then please do not contact me.[/snip] I'd pass, screw (and I dont mean literally) that moonbat
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 10:43:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/1/2006 10:44:36 PM EDT by cnatra]

Originally Posted By sWs2:

Stick it in her pooper and post pics?






Link Posted: 3/1/2006 10:44:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ZW17:

Psycho Bitch

I'm a vegetarian for ETHICAL reasons and don't wear/have leather or eat anything with a face



You can forget kinky sex and a 3some with another girl with this sentence alone.



Link Posted: 3/1/2006 10:50:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/1/2006 10:52:17 PM EDT by Spade]

Originally Posted By buzgun:
Shes probally neurotic , being single at her age!




They're all neurotic, no matter the age or the relationship status. All of them.

DoP, you should've pretended to be a liberal, hit it, and when you had her bent over a table shouted "I VOTED FOR BUSH!"

That would've been funny.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 10:53:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Spade:

Originally Posted By buzgun:
Shes probally neurotic , being single at her age!




They're all neurotic, no matter the age or the relationship status. All of them.

DoP, you should've pretended to be a liberal, hit it, and when you had her bent over a table shouted "I VOTED FOR BUSH!"

That would've been funny.



Hell yeah, so hit it. Come on, try the pie then post pics while telling us what libtard pie is like
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 11:03:24 PM EDT
Lets cut the bull.. It's not going to happen, and if it does, you'll have a hell of a time making it end.

Move on and find some real woman.
Link Posted: 3/1/2006 11:07:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ZW17:

Psycho Bitch

I'm a vegetarian for ETHICAL reasons and don't wear/have leather or eat anything with a face



You can forget kinky sex and a 3some with another girl with this sentence alone.




Link Posted: 3/2/2006 1:12:45 AM EDT
Do whatever you need to get her to meet you for coffee, and then whip her ass at chess. Leave laughing.
Link Posted: 3/2/2006 2:07:50 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/2/2006 2:09:23 AM EDT by Leisure_Shoot]
I'm nearly positive she has a porn site.
I will try and think of her name and do a google search.
IM wolfpack, he's somewhat of a connoisseur.
Link Posted: 3/2/2006 2:21:05 AM EDT
Forget it, man.

It's Austin.

It's not really even TX.

Sounds like a liberal ho that's looking for a sugar daddy.
Link Posted: 3/2/2006 2:31:56 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/2/2006 2:33:32 AM EDT
Save your money, your time, and your mind. This type is trouble in the long run. She will find something to be pissed off about and call the cops, key your car, or stalk you. Do you want to deal with that kind of crap because she posed as something to get over on? Why bother? In the end you may get to bang her but walk away from this moonbat. Her message is designed to play with your head and she is doing just that. Be a man. Do the right thing and flip her off. Then go find somebody normal.
Link Posted: 3/2/2006 3:56:38 AM EDT
There are too many "sane" women in the world to even consider messing around with this psycho! I know this type, while the outside may look good, evil lurks below. If you're going to hit it, wear a condom and run like hell afterwards!


Link Posted: 3/2/2006 4:02:52 AM EDT
hit it, n forget it
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