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12/6/2019 7:27:02 PM
Posted: 12/16/2016 8:31:55 PM EST
need to have it in tonight

i have so much to say but really am horrible about putting my thoughts into words
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 8:33:27 PM EST
Hard to do without knowing the lady. I'd suggest putting in a few anecdotes that everyone will relate to.
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 8:37:01 PM EST
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Originally Posted By DegralDan:
Hard to do without knowing the lady. I'd suggest putting in a few anecdotes that everyone will relate to.
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sure, everything that i will say will be remembered by everyone.

But i actually haven't had a conversation with her in over 15 years.

she had vascular dementia and was pretty much completely gone in the past 16 or so years.

I visited her about 3 months ago and she was nothing but a bag of bones in a Alzheimer's facility and couldn't even speak much less walk
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 8:43:05 PM EST
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Originally Posted By Plasteredtex:

sure, everything that i will say will be remembered by everyone.

But i actually haven't had a conversation with her in over 15 years.

she had vascular dementia and was pretty much completely gone in the past 16 or so years.

I visited her about 3 months ago and she was nothing but a bag of bones in a Alzheimer's facility and couldn't even speak much less walk <img src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle>
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I wouldnt mention that. Whats a great, funny story that happened when she was well?
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 8:45:54 PM EST
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Originally Posted By Plasteredtex:

sure, everything that i will say will be remembered by everyone.

But i actually haven't had a conversation with her in over 15 years.

she had vascular dementia and was pretty much completely gone in the past 16 or so years.

I visited her about 3 months ago and she was nothing but a bag of bones in a Alzheimer's facility and couldn't even speak much less walk <img src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle>
View Quote

In the first place, a mild amount of whiskey is conducive to my best writing.  Wine also works.  I know this, because of reactions to my postings on arfcom.

In the second place, your grandma during dementia is not your grandma.  Ignore that part completely.  Go back.  Go back to when she was your grandma.  When you age, even in dementia, you always go back.  She might not have been able to remeber what she just said, but the ancient memories were there.

Bring back that grandma.  Simple is best.
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 8:50:56 PM EST
Sorry to hear about your grandma. Alzheimer's is an incredibly cruel disease
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 8:51:16 PM EST
What was she like?

What is a particularly fond memory you have of her?

What is something she told you or gave you that has significance to you?

Who did she raise? What are they like?

Was she liked in the community?




Basically what I'm getting at is pretend a stranger is asking you questions about her, asking you to describe her. Answer those questions in a conversational or story telling tone and you'll do just fine.

Sorry for your loss
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 9:00:02 PM EST
thanks to everyone for the thoughts. I defiantly know to leave the bad times out and focus on the good, i was just venting a little.

Link Posted: 12/16/2016 9:05:49 PM EST
I'm really sad to hear that, OP. I lost my grandpa at a young age where I didn't really realize the loss.

That said, a good eulogy is like a good conversation. You are, in a way, putting immortal words about her life. So put some time into it.

A very simple framework to use is FORD:

Family - Every single human being has a family. The fact that you're sad she's gone is evidence of this. She doesn't want you to be sad that she passed, trust me on this. Share some good memories and thoughts. Weird things that she did, or you family does, that nobody else would get. She wants to be remembered as an individual not, "Oh, she was a good grandma." Almost every Grandma is good - tell me why she was excellent - why she was different - why you're mourning her passing.

Occupation - This one applies especially to women. Women bring their passion to the workplace. They make what's important to them real in hard work and connections. I know you know a funny story about her and work. Tell us about that. What can we learn from her?

Recreation - Everyone has hobbies. What we do in our spare time signifies us as a human. Tell me what she liked to do, then go further. Why? Whether she liked knitting, shooting, or free climbing... there was a reason she did what she did. Tell us all why. Share a funny story about her hobby.

Dreams - We can only hope that she fulfilled all of her life's goals. She had dreams and aspirations. Share them! Take her passion about people, about fun, about life and bring it to others. What did she bring to this world, and what can we do... in her honor... to help continue that?
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 9:06:28 PM EST
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Originally Posted By Sev89:
What was she like?

What is a particularly fond memory you have of her?

What is something she told you or gave you that has significance to you?

Who did she raise? What are they like?

Was she liked in the community?Basically what I'm getting at is pretend a stranger is asking you questions about her, asking you to describe her. Answer those questions in a conversational or story telling tone and you'll do just fine.

Sorry for your loss
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from my prospective she was a great woman.

Married my grandfather in 1943, during the war. They where 22, and he was a tail gunner and later became a pilot and retired in the late 60's.


kept the church nursery for 25 years
Link Posted: 12/16/2016 9:08:31 PM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By FlatDarkEarf:
I'm really sad to hear that, OP. I lost my grandpa at a young age where I didn't really realize the loss.

That said, a good eulogy is like a good conversation. You are, in a way, putting immortal words about her life. So put some time into it.

A very simple framework to use is FORD:

Family - Every single human being has a family. The fact that you're sad she's gone is evidence of this. She doesn't want you to be sad that she passed, trust me on this. Share some good memories and thoughts. Weird things that she did, or you family does, that nobody else would get. She wants to be remembered as an individual not, "Oh, she was a good grandma." Almost every Grandma is good - tell me why she was excellent - why she was different - why you're mourning her passing.

Occupation - This one applies especially to women. Women bring their passion to the workplace. They make what's important to them real in hard work and connections. I know you know a funny story about her and work. Tell us about that. What can we learn from her?

Recreation - Everyone has hobbies. What we do in our spare time signifies us as a human. Tell me what she liked to do, then go further. Why? Whether she liked knitting, shooting, or free climbing... there was a reason she did what she did. Tell us all why. Share a funny story about her hobby.

Dreams - We can only hope that she fulfilled all of her life's goals. She had dreams and aspirations. Share them! Take her passion about people, about fun, about life and bring it to others. What did she bring to this world, and what can we do... in her honor... to help continue that?
View Quote


Thank you for the guidance, i will use it as framework.
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