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Posted: 3/17/2011 1:15:21 PM EST
Hey it could happen!
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 1:15:56 PM EST
[Last Edit: 3/17/2011 1:16:03 PM EST by David_ESM]
Indeed... The taps were empty.
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:11:38 PM EST
Why did god let whiskey be invented?

So that the Irish would never take over the world.
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:13:20 PM EST
Originally Posted By P08:
Why did god let whiskey be invented?

So that the Irish would never take over the world.


Aye, 'tis true O'Leary, 'tis true.

Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:16:00 PM EST
A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They each buy a pint of Guiness beer.
Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!"


Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:16:40 PM EST
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are sitting in a bar. Suddenly, a fly dives into their beers.

The Englishman says, "Barman, a fly just dived into my beer. Bring me another one." The Englishman got another beer.

The Irishman says, "Ah, to hell with it," and empties his pint, fly and all.

The Scotsman pulls the fly out of his beer, shakes it up and down, and screams, "Spit it oot, damn you! Spit it oot!"
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:18:18 PM EST
Holy shit !
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:30:37 PM EST

Originally Posted By TxSgt1911:
Originally Posted By P08:
Why did god let whiskey be invented?

So that the Irish would never take over the world.


Aye, 'tis true O'Leary, 'tis true.


God bless the Irish, who God made mad,
For all their wars are merry and all their songs are sad!
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:34:37 PM EST
Originally Posted By TxSgt1911:
Originally Posted By P08:
Why did god let whiskey be invented?

So that the Irish would never take over the world.


Aye, 'tis true O'Leary, 'tis true.



QFT.
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:42:26 PM EST
My favorite Irishman joke:

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine.

It's me..." "...I've quit drinking!"


Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:48:49 PM EST
[Last Edit: 3/17/2011 2:49:25 PM EST by VACaver]
An Irishman is in New York visiting his cousin. The cousin takes him to a baseball game which totally baffles him. Seeing a batter toss his bat aside and trot to first base without even hitting the ball, the Irishman looks at his cousin and asks what's going on.

"He's walking because he's got four balls", explains the cousin.

Standing up, the Irishman looks to the field and yells, "WALK PROUD, LADDIE! WALK PROUD!"
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 2:50:51 PM EST
YA AIN'T DRUNK AS LONG AS YOU CAN HANG ON TO A SINGLE BLADE OF GRASS AND NOT FALL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH...
Link Posted: 3/17/2011 3:40:22 PM EST

Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.

In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"

So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"

She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come".
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