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Posted: 9/19/2009 12:28:15 PM EST
Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:29:04 PM EST
Seems to me like it's going pretty well.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:29:26 PM EST
In before someone says she's getting the sausage from someone else
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:30:26 PM EST
Makes me glad my woman drinks and smokes.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:30:30 PM EST

Time to finally re-arrange the furniture the right way.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:30:35 PM EST
Sounds like it's going perfect.

Where'd she go??
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:30:38 PM EST
Don't sprain your wrist.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:35:44 PM EST
Long as you're not drinking Everclear and smokin' meth, you should be somewhat OK.


Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:37:03 PM EST
Don't forget to pick up all the beer bottles and puke before she gets back.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:45:17 PM EST
Where'd she go??


Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.


Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:46:20 PM EST
Sell the house and move! no forwarding addres.

Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:48:04 PM EST
Now is your chance..................new life, here you come.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:48:15 PM EST

Originally Posted By axl:
Where'd she go??


Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.


Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?
Isn't that what the shotgun shells are for?

Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:48:19 PM EST

Originally Posted By axl:

Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?



I hear ya - the spousal unit and I just passed 37 years.....
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:48:29 PM EST
Originally Posted By WGPKlaus:
Sell the house and move! no forwarding addres.








That would suck.

Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:53:19 PM EST
Originally Posted By DnPRK:

Originally Posted By axl:
Where'd she go??


Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.


Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?
Isn't that what the shotgun shells are for?



HAhahahahah I remember that thread!
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:57:05 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/19/2009 12:59:42 PM EST by axl]
Isn't that what the shotgun shells are for?


Yall just haven't had the type of hemmroids like I have, And one good thing about this PT Barnum and Baily spectacle is that the truth never gets in the way of a good story. I might hit up an old stoner friend for a joint though. Its been about 35 years or so.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 12:57:35 PM EST

Originally Posted By axl:
Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.


Using ARFCOM math...

if 5 hours = alcohol and tobacco (assuming your smoking cigs... that is)

then 3 weeks = dead under a mountain of hookers and blow... maybe a few dead geese hanging from the dresser drawer... but that is unverified. It is unknown if going Danish takes more than 3 weeks or not.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:01:29 PM EST


she's gonna find you passed out in your basement buried in beer cans and potato chips when she gets home isn't she?





Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:03:05 PM EST

Originally Posted By Evilsmurfkilla:
Seems to me like it's going pretty well.
Yeahhh...just make sure you don't get too hammered and run out of booze or cigs.

Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:05:00 PM EST
when can we come over?
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:05:02 PM EST
So......do you really live in Micronesia?
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:05:05 PM EST
No worrys! What you need to do is find yourself a project to keep your mind busy. If not that have fun with your wifes head when she comes back clean the house but rearrange everything. I mean everything. LOL! Have some fun.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:05:41 PM EST
I say clean the house up....paint that room that she's been wanting you to re-do, take up jogging and loose a few pounds for her. Lift some weights and start tightening up for her. Take the time to clean up your act, focusing on personal hygene and manners. Maybe get a good book or two to open up your mind and have new things to discuss with her. Impress her with your new worldly outlook. Take a french cooking class..............



.....................and there'a always just hookers and blow too.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:06:57 PM EST
Originally Posted By Triptech:

Originally Posted By axl:
Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.


Using ARFCOM math...

if 5 hours = alcohol and tobacco (assuming your smoking cigs... that is)

then 3 weeks = dead under a mountain of hookers and blow... maybe a few dead geese hanging from the dresser drawer... but that is unverified. It is unknown if going Danish takes more than 3 weeks or not.


I cannot believe I had to go this far into the thread before the first mention of "hookers and blow"!
As soon as I saw the title, it was the first thing that came to mind.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:08:09 PM EST
Originally Posted By axl:
Where'd she go??


Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.


Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?


I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:11:19 PM EST
Originally Posted By ftwm:
Originally Posted By axl:
Where'd she go??


Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.


Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?


I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?




Not if you switch it up and get new wives every few years. Ask me how I know.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:14:15 PM EST
1. Alcohol
2. Smokes
3. Bacon
4. Fleshlight
5. ??????
6. Profit
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:15:58 PM EST
Originally Posted By Lorax:
Originally Posted By ftwm:
Originally Posted By axl:
Where'd she go??


Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.


Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?


I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?




Not if you switch it up and get new wives every few years. Ask me how I know.


Eh. I have a daughter, I can't imagine letting someone else raise her.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:16:39 PM EST
So when's the party??!!

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:16:41 PM EST
Indoor target practice?
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:21:10 PM EST
Originally Posted By TheCanuck:
In before someone says she's getting the sausage from someone else


Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:22:07 PM EST
Two Words:

Hookers
Blow
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:23:30 PM EST
Originally Posted By WGPKlaus:
Sell the house and move! no forwarding addres.



This is the correct answer for the path to freedom.

Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:26:24 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/19/2009 1:27:06 PM EST by axl]

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?



No, not really. But then I guess its like getting butt fucked nightly in jail - sort of get used to it and after thirty or so years its like a Mexican in Texas - ain't no big thing.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:28:43 PM EST
Originally Posted By LE6920:
Originally Posted By TheCanuck:
In before someone says she's getting the sausage from someone else




You know someone will say it. The longer this thread lasts, the chances of it happening increase exponentially!
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:31:09 PM EST

PARTY TIME!
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:31:22 PM EST
Originally Posted By axl:

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?



No, not really. But then I guess its like getting butt fucked nightly in jail - sort of get used to it and after thirty or so years its like a Mexican in Texas - ain't no big thing.


Uhhhh I don't think I could ever get used to that.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:33:02 PM EST
She's out partying.................So go out partying!
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:42:17 PM EST
Originally Posted By axl:
Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.


So how long before you start missing her?

Woman wheres my sammich! And there is no sammich............
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:47:56 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/19/2009 1:49:41 PM EST by FatCat1]
OK OK You know she's getting the sausage from someone else.


There all is good in the universe that is ARFCOM.

And get a new avatar, that one's been taken.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:48:55 PM EST
IN on one!!!!!
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:49:48 PM EST
Fo.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:50:28 PM EST
^^^^^^^^^^
Shawn
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:51:17 PM EST
So how long before you start missing her?


Already do. Real quiet around here. God knows I married a hell of a lot better than she did.
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:53:33 PM EST
How 'bout right before she gets back, put some of these up :




Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:54:58 PM EST
IN before this happens!!!!: I need help in disposing of dead hookers and 1 kilo of blow!!!!!


Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:59:05 PM EST
Originally Posted By ftwm:
Originally Posted By axl:

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?



No, not really. But then I guess its like getting butt fucked nightly in jail - sort of get used to it and after thirty or so years its like a Mexican in Texas - ain't no big thing.


Uhhhh I don't think I could ever get used to that.



I agree,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I cant ever get used to hearing spanish in TX.

Link Posted: 9/19/2009 1:59:54 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 2:04:21 PM EST
Originally Posted By Triptech:

Originally Posted By axl:
Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.


Using ARFCOM math...

if 5 hours = alcohol and tobacco (assuming your smoking cigs... that is)

then 3 weeks = dead under a mountain of hookers and blow... maybe a few dead geese hanging from the dresser drawer... but that is unverified. It is unknown if going Danish takes more than 3 weeks or not.


THIS!
Link Posted: 9/19/2009 2:09:52 PM EST
Originally Posted By ftwm:
Originally Posted By axl:
Where'd she go??


Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.


Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?


I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?


going to get worse ?
i've been married for 3 years now, and it's going great

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