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Posted: 8/13/2017 9:21:14 AM EST
First, yes once I get the order I will have lawyer and should easily get her lies recinded.

Long/short. Got in huge fight 3+ months ago, said mean things (no threats) then cut ALL contact. Happy 3 months:)

Cut to last week, she emailed me saying I am responsible for paying some bills ???? (Divorced 4 years)
I tell her nope, she gets upset and sends 2 more emails threatening suing me. I didn't reply.

2 days later, says she's getting restraining order using stuff I said 3 months ago plus a couple lies about me contacting her by phone recently and also that I have been stocking her despite her living all the way across the country.

Her emails clearly state she's upset that I'm not going to give her the money so I think this is easily beatable in court. I hope.

However what happens when I first get the order? She stated that because we were married this is going to be some kind of domestic violence thing, there was no domestic violence in the relationship.

Will this order affect me until I can get it voided? Does it affect my guns until I can see the judge? I've looked online but I get two different answers.

Should I get a restraining order against her immediately?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:24:36 AM EST
In most states guns are a no no. You should cut contact with her except in writing and control your temper. Keep all dealings at a business level. Also you need a good lawyer.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:25:26 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:26:19 AM EST
Just get a restraining order against her.

Any kids?  If no, why the fuck do you still have contact with her after 4 years?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:28:09 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By VacaDuck:
Just get a restraining order against her.

Any kids?  If no, why the fuck do you still have contact with her after 4 years?
View Quote
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:29:03 AM EST
Get yourself a good attorney and strike against her first. It may be too late already.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:29:07 AM EST
I'd probably start looking for a good attorney now and, after finding one, speak with them even before your ex takes any legal action. May be overkill, but the downside of her following through with the false claims seems to be pretty high.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:30:28 AM EST
You NEVER give up your guns. Never!
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:30:47 AM EST
ITT: Woman uses lies and threats to extort money from innocent man.  Surely this has never happened before. 

File a suit for PTSD against her for the admitted fraud.  
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:32:12 AM EST
Any and all contact strictly through your attorney.

You stuck it in the crazy didn't you.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:35:59 AM EST
Give her a p320
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:37:58 AM EST
I'd get in touch with a good lawyer, just to protect yourself. After being divorced for the length of time you stated, this seems like a no brainer. You're responsible for only what is stated in the divorce decree, and that's it unless it's been amended or gone back to court. What she has incurred since then is on her, and her new boyfriend/husband or whatever. Been there and done that....and I'd only communicate in writing, but that's me. Best wishes with the situation! Been there and done that, but not to this degree.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:38:42 AM EST
Lawyer up! SOMEONE got into her ear and here comes the bullshit!
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:39:19 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:39:36 AM EST
Hope it was one sweet piece of ass for all of the trouble.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:40:13 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By SouthHoof:
Any and all contact strictly through your attorney.

You stuck it in the crazy didn't you.
View Quote
I'm thinking he might still have been sticking it in the crazy until 3 months ago...
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:40:14 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Jormungandr:
Give her a p320
View Quote
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:40:19 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Jormungandr:
Give her a p320
View Quote
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:41:08 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:


No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
View Quote
That is for fucking sure. Stop talking to that crazy B.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:41:09 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/13/2017 9:42:15 AM EST by Bobby_the_Hun]
OP, if you were residing in NJ, your firearms would have already been confiscated, seek counsel.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:42:06 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:42:06 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:
Originally Posted By VacaDuck:
Just get a restraining order against her.

Any kids?  If no, why the fuck do you still have contact with her after 4 years?
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
Couldn't have said it better myself.......
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:42:30 AM EST
Give all guns to a trusted friend or family member. Do not communicate with her AT ALL. Save all past communications and provide copies to your lawyer. Any semi competent lawyer should be able to get this dropped. You probably could get it dropped yourself but getting an attorney is smart. Then get guns back and never communicate with her again.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:43:12 AM EST
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:
First, yes once I get the order I will have lawyer and should easily get her lies recinded.

Long/short. Got in huge fight 3+ months ago, said mean things (no threats) then cut ALL contact. Happy 3 months:)

Cut to last week, she emailed me saying I am responsible for paying some bills ???? (Divorced 4 years)
I tell her nope, she gets upset and sends 2 more emails threatening suing me. I didn't reply.

2 days later, says she's getting restraining order using stuff I said 3 months ago plus a couple lies about me contacting her by phone recently and also that I have been stocking her despite her living all the way across the country.

Her emails clearly state she's upset that I'm not going to give her the money so I think this is easily beatable in court. I hope.

However what happens when I first get the order? She stated that because we were married this is going to be some kind of domestic violence thing, there was no domestic violence in the relationship.

Will this order affect me until I can get it voided? Does it affect my guns until I can see the judge? I've looked online but I get two different answers.

Should I get a restraining order against her immediately?
View Quote


SHouldnt she be happy that you are stocking her (with groceries and various sundries i presume?)
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:43:58 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:44:02 AM EST
"What email?" would have been the appropriate response. 
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:44:25 AM EST
How did you get your guns back from that boating accident?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:45:43 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:


No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
View Quote
Ok, that can be a problem.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:45:50 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By steelycr:
I'm thinking he might still have been sticking it in the crazy until 3 months ago...
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By steelycr:
Originally Posted By SouthHoof:
Any and all contact strictly through your attorney.

You stuck it in the crazy didn't you.
I'm thinking he might still have been sticking it in the crazy until 3 months ago...
Most likely.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:47:00 AM EST
Welcome to your patriarchal privilege. Get a lawyer asap.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:47:52 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By whiskerz:
In most states guns are a no no. You should cut contact with her except in writing and control your temper. Keep all dealings at a business level. Also you need a good lawyer.
View Quote
That's not just an "also" - that's the first thing to do really.

And since she's filed a restraining order - or claims she did, don't respond to anything she says or does - give it all to the lawyer, including her email that threatened you with the RO.

Cos if she really did file one, then she shouldn't be contacting you either. But some women will do just that in order to set the other person up for failure.


So don't respond to anything - hand it all over to the lawyer. After all, that's what you'll be paying him or her for ... to deal with your ex, so that you don't have to.

And hell, your own RO against her can't be bad too I suppose. I'm sure it will make her lose her mind but you have that right, especially since she's threatening you.


Firearms... eh, wait until you actually get an RO delivered to you. Then have a friend take them over if you have to.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:48:46 AM EST
Print all those emails
Take pictures of any texts, and the "recent call" screen, then print those out
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:49:15 AM EST
Keep at least one old junker gun at the house and two others hid away somewhere else just in case . Don't put all eggs in one basket.

Being your not in the same area one would logically think you are not a threat.

But logic is not involved here.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:52:44 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:


Apparently. There is no reason to have contact with her.
View Quote
no shit... sounds like you brought this on yourself.... what part of ex do you not understand?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:54:12 AM EST
This is fucked up.

Get a lawyer and get a hearing asap. No fucking way you let her take your rights because she is nuts.

Also sue for damages from this shit.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:54:18 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:


No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
View Quote
Stop doing that before your life gets really fucked up.

Are you sober when you do things like contact her, or get pissed off and lose all control of yourself?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:54:44 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:


No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
View Quote
No kids AND you stay in contact with your ex?  Why do you intentionally subject yourself to this drama?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:55:19 AM EST
It's a no-go for the guns while the order is in effect - it's a topic addressed in one of the questions on the 4473 form when you buy a gun from an FFL.

The best course is to let the courts sort it out, don't make any new contacts or give any new reasons (including getting a counter restraining order based on exaggerated claims) to prolong the fight.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:55:25 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/13/2017 10:04:25 AM EST by DonofKalifornia]
My ex tried this shit, because she got fired and arrested for embezzling money from her work. When I started figuring out her lying bullshit, I worked with the police and her former employer on the case.

She filed a restraining order, got a good attorney and went into court. She started the bullshit I was going to kill her etc. The judge got statements from the police and her former employer and the judge said if she felt she was threatened he would resend her bail and put her back in jail. She broke down crying and throwing a fit in court, then the bailiff took her into custody.

That was 12 years ago and she was held till trial, found guilty and still has 2 more years before she might get parole. At that point she will be real busy, the IRS wants their taxes on the money she embezzled.

You can have a FFL hold your firearms, you should have one you can trust. The local police can hold them, usually more expensive, they don't give a fuck about taking care of them and if you have quite a few they can be real dickheads.

Most jurisdictions give you 24 hours to 'dispose' of your firearms ONCE YOU'VE BEEN SERVED. Best thing, don't give any addresed where she can serve you.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 9:57:12 AM EST
I would first get a lawyer. Secondly, until it gets sorted out, I would have my firearms stored somewhere other than my house...ie with someone you trust. In some states, just an accusation of domestic violence can result in police seizing and holding all your firearms until it has been sorted out.

You are fortunate that you live across the country as that will make it easier to prove you are not a threat to her.

Above all, lawyer up right away, and have your attorney file a response in your location on your behalf asap.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:00:02 AM EST
How the fuck was she able to get a restraining order granted against someone thousands of miles away!!??
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:00:35 AM EST
How do you get in a huge fight with an x-wife of 4 years that lives on the other side of the country?
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:01:00 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:


No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
View Quote
Well then, enjoy your misery and hard lesson.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:01:04 AM EST
I practice this sort of law in Florida. I'd go get a free consult tomorrow.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:01:46 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:


No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
View Quote
Yeah man. The only reason I stay in contact with my ex is because we have two little kids together. If not, I'd erase her from my memory.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:02:33 AM EST
Here's what's actually going on:
Ex-wife is in need of money. Ex-wife is using a threat to extort money from OP.
To OP: Look, dummy, she's an EX-wife for a reason. Stop dicking around and put her in the rear view. There isn't a restraining order, nor is there going to be one. Please understand that for an "order of protection" to be issued there has to be a threat or a possibility of violence involved. Her going to a judge and saying that she's afraid of you when you are "on the other side of the country" is not going to fly with just about any judge anywhere. Until you actually see a piece of paperwork with your name on it, stop fucking worrying about it, ya idiot. It's a bluff to frighten you into giving her money.
Now, print off all emails and document everything. Never, ever again have any contact with her. If she send you more emails, print them off and archive in your account. Do not respond, ignore any attempts at phone contact.
Should you somehow find yourself holding a restraining order with your name on it, THEN contact attorney and start going through all the stuff required to comply. Otherwise, calm the fuck down. Stop hyperventilating at some windy threat by a greedy bitch.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:02:51 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/13/2017 10:05:36 AM EST by compulynx]
Not trying to be a jerk here, but if you were still having contact with an ex after 4 years and no kids, you brought it on yourself!

I had one try this same crap when I found out she was fucking a truck driver. Her dumbass lawyer got a restraining order, but I never had a problem keeping my guns. Of course, I live in a free state...

Everything got thrown out, I divorced her, kept all my stuff, including the house, and I never spoke to the bitch again!
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:05:06 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By geekz0r:

That's not just an "also" - that's the first thing to do really.

And since she's filed a restraining order - or claims she did, don't respond to anything she says or does - give it all to the lawyer, including her email that threatened you with the RO.

Cos if she really did file one, then she shouldn't be contacting you either. But some women will do just that in order to set the other person up for failure.


So don't respond to anything - hand it all over to the lawyer. After all, that's what you'll be paying him or her for ... to deal with your ex, so that you don't have to.

And hell, your own RO against her can't be bad too I suppose. I'm sure it will make her lose her mind but you have that right, especially since she's threatening you.


Firearms... eh, wait until you actually get an RO delivered to you. Then have a friend take them over if you have to.
View Quote
^^^ Best advice ever ^^^
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:05:10 AM EST
The ONLY contact you should have with her is through your attorney. Do not respond to ANYTHING she says. This is a legal matter that you can fuck yourself quickly if you make a wrong move.

If this is found to be bullshit then have your attorney ask for her to cover your attorney bills.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:05:40 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Happygobasher:


No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
View Quote
This exactly. If you had kids I would understand. No kids mean you are making huge mistakes. This one is going to cost some money . Hire whomever has the local reputation as the best divorce lawyer.
Link Posted: 8/13/2017 10:06:09 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Him:


Stop doing that before your life gets really fucked up.

Are you sober when you do things like contact her, or get pissed off and lose all control of yourself?
View Quote
Sober yes. Last time I got angry (but no threats) was 3 months ago. I sent nothing to her current emails that was not well thought and calm
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