So, mighty warriors of Arf, how many cartel members could you handle?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - So, mighty warriors of Arf, how many cartel members could you handle? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 7/26/2013 8:58:14 PM EDT

You're in your basement fapping to the latest Michelle Jenneke gif when you see 3 SUVs full of heavily armed Zetas approaching your door via your security cameras. Of course you're surrounded by your tier one arsenal and have watched dozens of high speed low drag videos on youtube, but the real question is; how many of them can you take out?

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:00:51 PM EDT

[#1]

Just keep fapping.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:01:24 PM EDT

[#2]

All. Grenades out the window and grab my armor and spare belts..

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:02:33 PM EDT

[#3]

87. Probably

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Posted: 7/26/2013 9:03:20 PM EDT

[#4]

I would die posting an "Ask a Guy Getting Attacked by Cartel Anything" thread.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:03:26 PM EDT

[#5]

There's a new Michelle Jenneke gif? Fucking link it.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:03:33 PM EDT

[#6]

Claymores and gun turrets around the house - so all of them

then I'd HALO to their compound, kill the cartel leader and fuck his Colombian wife.....

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:03:33 PM EDT

[#7]

Can we get the guy in here who was going to tear gas canister his own home for sd? I'd like to hear his thoughts on the subject.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:03:55 PM EDT

[#8]

pop smoke and call for air.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:05:09 PM EDT

[#9]

How many of them are midgets?

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:05:58 PM EDT

[#10]

Proceed to fap and let James Yeager handle it

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:06:14 PM EDT

[#11]

Quote History

Quoted:
pop smoke and call for air.

View Quote

That's a good plan. Destroy the air with the smoke, because you've got SCUBA and they don't. They thought it was a land op. It'll get in their eyes and shit.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:09:40 PM EDT

[#12]

I'd think, "Whoever owns this house - which I foolishly broke into in order to fap - has made some enemies", and then I'd finish in the underwear drawer, zip, and quietly sneak out the back and disappear into the night.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:11:16 PM EDT

[#13]

Elderly and child cartel members? I could probably get away or maybe even smoke one. The rest of them? I'm not sure.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:11:59 PM EDT

[#14]

I'm small, weak, and not well-trained. I'd run away if that was an option.

If my family was there and they couldn't get away, I'm distributing the guns and 87 mags and everyone is fighting.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:14:31 PM EDT

[#15]

Are any of them black teenagers? Call George Zimmerman.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:15:54 PM EDT

[#16]

Magdump through the door with my Hi-Point fotay yelling 'Thug life yo', should take care of them. If any are left over I'll accuse them of being 'white hispanics' and threaten to sic Holder on them.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:17:29 PM EDT

[#17]

Truthfully? If their recon was shit I would bug out the back armed and call 911. Who knows if I would survive that shit. The cops in my hood are morons and would take heavy losses. I would expect my property to look like the shoot out from bonny and clyde. Hope they missed the HD backups.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:20:56 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

how many of them can you take out?

View Quote

All of them. Flip the safety and hit that clicker three times...

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:23:48 PM EDT

[#19]

Depending on their arsenal, tunnel them into a kill zone and you can take out a lot. They cook a grenade and toss it your way, you're fucked! Have an escape route so you're not totally fucked.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:27:02 PM EDT

[#20]

Quote History

Quoted:
Proceed to fap and let James Yeager handle it

View Quote

So you can have a broken door and a wrecked truck?

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:35:40 PM EDT

[#21]

I am legend scene comes to mind or whip out my cheetoes colored dick and that should scare them off.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:38:44 PM EDT

[#22]

I'd just dial 9 and 1 and then wait until I was sure I was being attacked then then dial 1 again.

Police are there to be our personal bodyguards so that's what I rely on at all times.

Surely po po will come through.

Yes?

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:40:46 PM EDT

[#23]

I'll start yelling in Mandarin. Mexicans are terrified of the Chinese.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:42:43 PM EDT

[#24]

I've seen highly trained, experienced, hard men struck down by a fucking teenager who got lucky.

They other guy doesn't have to be "good".

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:43:35 PM EDT

[#25]

Question: Are they dressed as criminals or as Police?

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:43:44 PM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:
I've seen highly trained, experienced, hard men struck down by a fucking teenager who got lucky.

They other guy doesn't have to be "good".

View Quote

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:50:14 PM EDT

[#27]

Not enough Microsoft Paint in the OP to make an accurate assessment.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:50:42 PM EDT

[#28]

Just throw some CS gas down your hallway.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:55:04 PM EDT

[#29]

I'd kill them all, and teabag them when I'm done.

I can shoot, and have a hardened location, cover, concealment, and enfiladed positions.

They Spray & Pray.

An Burt Gummer is my uncle.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:56:10 PM EDT

[#30]

Greet them wielding a machete in each hand.

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:58:47 PM EDT

[#31]

If they're typical cowards, all it'll probably take is to kill or wound one, and the rest will run away. They might even retreat just from hearing incoming gunfire.

If they're Zetas...

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:59:26 PM EDT

[#32]

Quote History

Quoted:
Claymores and gun turrets around the house - so all of them

then I'd HALO to their compound, kill the cartel leader and fuck his Colombian wife.....

View Quote

What if he's gay ?

Posted: 7/26/2013 9:59:44 PM EDT

[#33]

They're all coming in through the front door (AKA the fatal funnel)?

All of them.

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:00:03 PM EDT

[#34]

1,000,000 I am a fucking spartan.

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:00:05 PM EDT

[#35]

Quote History

Quoted:

What if he's gay ?

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Claymores and gun turrets around the house - so all of them

then I'd HALO to their compound, kill the cartel leader and fuck his Colombian wife.....

What if he's gay ?

guess I'm ending up with Juan the cabana boy for the night

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:30:20 PM EDT

[#36]

Quote History

Quoted:
I would die posting an "Ask a Guy Getting Attacked by Cartel Anything" thread.

View Quote

YES!!!! I like this!

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:31:23 PM EDT

[#37]

Quote History

Quoted:
They're all coming in through the front door (AKA the fatal funnel)?

All of them.

View Quote

Yep. I don't think cartels are going door to door clearing houses so their CQB skills probably are not the best!

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:33:58 PM EDT

[#38]

Surprise, cockfag!

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:34:17 PM EDT

[#39]

Me and my dog would be terrified of the cops. Cartel dudes? They wouldn't bother with a nerd like me.

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:34:59 PM EDT

[#40]

Heavily armed tattooed men in unmarked cars cursing and shouting?

I put my hands in the air, it's probably the police.

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:35:55 PM EDT

[#41]

IBTW

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:38:14 PM EDT

[#42]

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:44:09 PM EDT

[#43]

Quote History

Quoted:
I would die posting an "Ask a Guy Getting Attacked by Cartel Anything" thread.

View Quote

Free interwebz for this guy!!!

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:46:16 PM EDT

[#44]

well

this thread was fun while it lasted

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:49:14 PM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:
I would die posting an "Ask a Guy Getting Attacked by Cartel Anything" thread.

View Quote

BEST REPLY EVAR

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:49:37 PM EDT

[#46]

Draw them in.

Posted: 7/26/2013 10:54:22 PM EDT

[#47]

I know how to utterly destroy them. Gut their entire organization, demoralize and bankrupt their kingpins.

....end the War on Drugs. Don't legalize drugs, just decriminalize them, repeal all recreational drug laws and allow addicts (which are at the same level today as they were before the drug war began) to seek help through private rehabilitation programs.

Poof...cartels are gone. Problem solved.

Posted: 7/26/2013 11:02:02 PM EDT

[#48]

Quote History

Quoted:
I know how to utterly destroy them. Gut their entire organization, demoralize and bankrupt their kingpins.

....end the War on Drugs. Don't legalize drugs, just decriminalize them, repeal all recreational drug laws and allow addicts (which are at the same level today as they were before the drug war began) to seek help through private rehabilitation programs.

Poof...cartels are gone. Problem solved.

View Quote

Flip side is to unleash the military to decimate the cartels and hang all drug offenders. Pretty short work if we had the balls. But nobody does, so another day another senseless death.