Was nearing the end of my 24hr shift (FD/EMS - 0800 to 0800). 0630, everyone was still in the rack after a PIA night,  and we get a call around 0630 for someone falling on the sidewalk. We arrive at the address and the ambulance is already at the scene. One of the paramedics comes up to us and says we can return, but we might want to check  the patient out anyways. We get of the piece and walk over to where the "patient" is lying... well, we he wasn't exactly lying, more like splattered and oozing all over the walkway.
BTW, the address we responded to is a 12 story building. No one knows if the person fell, was pushed or jumped (95% of the time it's the latter).

Ohhh, and I'll refrain from sharing/retelling all the jokes and one liners that followed soon afterward...
except that it started with someone sugesting that we stop off at a local breakfast nook for scrambled eggs
(then it went downhill from there).

I woke up at 7:30am a little tired cause I hurt my back yesterday and it made sleeping hard.  I watched Fox & friends while I got dressed for work.  I drove 6 miles to my office.  Browsed ARFCOM for 10 minutes.  checked my emails. Then I just spaced out for about an hour.  I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working.

Yours sounds interesting though.

Quoted: I woke up at 7:30am a little tired cause I hurt my back yesterday and it made sleeping hard.  I watched Fox & friends while I got dressed for work.  I drove 6 miles to my office.  Browsed ARFCOM for 10 minutes.  checked my emails. Then I just spaced out for about an hour.  I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. Yours sounds interesting though.

Sounds like my day today too.

The dogs woke my wife and I up...  I let Summit out and got back in bed where I promptly tried to get a little morning nookie.  It didn't pan out... so I got up and made a pot off coffee.

~Dg84

Like this:




                     



                                         

 
                                                           

My day started of shitty, too. I fell out of bed in my 12th-floor apartment onto the sidewalk below. I was oozing all over the place. A bunch of EMS guys came, but most of them were more interested in getting breakfast.

Anyway, I'm feeling better now.

I woke up with a stiff neck to my dad calling me from his office. He had a four hour break so we should go bike riding. We rode for 30 miles. On the way we passed an ambulance and some medics joking about some dead guy who got pushed out of the 10th story. I got back home, had some scrambled eggs, and read Tacitus for the rest of the morning. Now I'm at work spacing out, but I can turn my head without pain so I'm stoked about that.

Got up at 7:57 and I have to be at work by 8am stumbled into work at about 8:15 and logged in here.

Pretty lame morning and day so far.

I through my hip out last night.  Seriously



Hurt liek crap on the treadmill todya.

Woken up about twenty minutes before my alarm by a cop friend of mine who was asking if he could please borrow on of my pistols for patrol.

Got up at 630 to finish writing an exam paper due today.  Finished at 930.  Drove hour to school to turn it in then an hour back.

Finished up the morning by listening to Rush on the way back.

I got woken up with a hot blowjob and breakfast in bed by a beautiful woman who can cook.  I start most mornings like this.

Woke up at 6 by my g/f going to work, fell back asllep---got up at 745--at work at 0820 been here ever since

Quoted: Woken up about twenty minutes before my alarm by a cop friend of mine who was asking if he could please borrow on of my pistols for patrol.

 wha?

Quoted: I got woken up with a hot blowjob and breakfast in bed by a beautiful woman who can cook.  I start most mornings like this.

Same here..until the alarm clock went off and the posted above "real" morning started.

Quoted: I got woken up with a hot blowjob and breakfast in bed by a beautiful woman who can cook.  I start most mornings like this.

Not married yet I see.

Quoted: I got woken up with a hot blowjob and breakfast in bed by a beautiful woman who can cook.  I start most mornings like this.

You are so lucky you mentioned it was a woman, or this thread would have turned pretty fast.

I worked a 10 hr shift, got bagged with priotity 1 calls just as I can see the finish line.

Call Numero Uno: An honest to goodness Mexican Stand-Off.  Wife holding hubby at bay with a shattered vase, hubby holding wife at bay with a paring knife.  Everyone, including Grandma screaming in Spanish.  Couple of folks on the periphery who'd attempted to intervene were bleeding a bit.  Suitably diffused with a liberal application of OC and both hubby and wife went to the clink.  Drinking until five in morning apperantly does not make for good marital relations.

Call Numero Dos: Injury accident...MC vs SUV.  MC lost.

Call Numero Tres: Missing child - found down the block at the Circle K.

Call Numero Quatro: Lastly, I shit you not...man fallen into a manhole.  Some clown removed a manhole cover and another clown on his way to work fell in.  I'm not sure how you manage to just fall into a manhole, but one of our erstwhile citizens was able to accomplish it completely sober and with out anything more than a couple of scrapes.  Smelled like shit though.

Spent four hours on OT back at the station tidying up paperwork, reading reports and doing a very good job of pretending to chew out one of my guys for some nickle-dime crap the Lt. was all fired-up about.

Went into the locker room, changed out of monkey suit, hopped on bike, nearly killed twice enroute home.  Took the dogs for a crap walk, made coffee, had pie then cuddled, kissed wife good-bye, logged on to Arfcom.



Sheep

Quoted: I got woken up with a hot blowjob and breakfast in bed by a beautiful woman who can cook.  I start most mornings like this.

I was so afraid it was going to be Sweep! Whew!

Quoted: Quoted: I got woken up with a hot blowjob and breakfast in bed by a beautiful woman who can cook.  I start most mornings like this. Not married yet I see.

nope not sure if I want to be after reading the married sex thread.  I would rather be eaten by gay hungry alligators who have aids than give up sex

I woke up at 08:00  with a head that was throbbing badly.  My stomache in a knot and the the porcelin god calling.  So after an explosive bout with the toilet I had to decide which was more important the vomit that was on its way up or the Mr. hanky and friends on their way out.  So in true Arfcom tradition I got both, ass on the toilet, and head in the bathroom garbage can.  So my head is pounding and I have the runs from hell and a vomit that was painfull.  After I finished with all of that I went and made a pot of coffee, got a call from the ex wondering why in the hell I called her a two in the morning drunk off of my ass.  Coffee is done I drink half a pot of Starbucks breakfast blend and had a Bagel.  I took two advil and some Immodium and was finally starting to feel better so I went and showered.  Feeling much better by this time so I went and rubbed one off, got dressed for work and promised to never ever Drink 8 rum and cokes and 2 Jager bombs in 3 hours in my lifetime again.  

Finished some school work at 2AM last night, got up at 5:30 this morning for PT with the Semper Fi Society; which was the most intense workout ive ever done! I hated it then, but cant wait til next week. Came home, showered, did some laundry, logged onto arfcom, then went to class from 9:30 til a little while ago. Got work at 5-10

Sig 228, what the hell, did you think it was friday last nite??

Quoted: Sig 228, what the hell, did you think it was friday last nite??

I work afternoons and one of my favorite bands was in town last night.  

Some moron in a new Toyota Tundra was pulling out of a parking lot/business, making a right hand turn. This normally would not be a problem, but it was this time. I was heading southbound of which there were 2 lanes. I was in the left lane. I saw 2 vehicles stopped in the road in the right lane where there is no stop light/traffic and see this guy was pulling out. I’m thinking wtf are they doing? The guy should only be making his right turn when there is NO oncoming traffic. So I start to get nervous and slow down.

Sure enough he starts to pull into my lane as I’m about to pass him, only now I’m about to hit him. I slam the breaks and screech forward and am about a foot from hitting his from driver side front fender. I’m lucky the PT cruiser behind me did not rear end me. I guess he slowed down from the first time I tapped my breaks. So I’m stopped in the road and this moron (60+ white male) is taking up both southbound lanes and has this look of terror on his face and I have a look of disgust right back at him. I go around him, half in my lane, and half through the turning lane and go on my merry way.

That almost made me REALLY late for work. Luckily I have great reflexes/reaction time.

Then there was yesterday when I was driving home when somebody tried to change into my lane… RIGHT INTO ME WITHOUT LOOKING. I swerved to the left and slammed on my breaks. Car behind me honked at them as they finished changing lanes. Jesus Christ people! PAY ATTENTION!

Thanks.

I’m done.

I was fired from my job 2 weeks ago and still haven't found one yet.  I slept untill 11am from a hard night of gaming and then I checked back at places I applied at :)

Gee, let's see. I had a vasectomy Wed afternoon so, today, I woke up with the boys throbbing. Took some Tylenol, took my antibiotic while I was up, then had a smoke. Then, about 0830, the power goes off and it just came back on so I couldn't surf ARFCom or anything else. Just sat here and started at the wife, wanting pie but unable to perform due to the pain. All in all, a pretty shitty day so far. Still better than a day at work, however.

Bub

I woke up at 0430 at MEPS, showered, dressed, refrained from eating (gotta make weight)...finally after hours of tests and paperwork completed everything, I BARELY scraped by on the body fat test (.11% to spare...w000t) only to be denied my chance of enlisting today because ...

I COULDN'T PISS IN THE GOD DAMN CUP FOR MY DRUG TEST.
I FUCKING HAVE NEVER FUCKING TAKEN DRUGS IN MY FUCKING LIFE...AND I CAN'T PISS IN A FUCKING CUP?   I was so concerned about meeting weight that I didn't drink any water and by the time I could drink it was too late...also something annoying about being yelled at to pee in a cup while you're being stared at....goddamnit.

I needed to vent.  It's not that big of a deal, Sunday I head back up there and all I have to do is piss and pick my job (airborne infantry).  I guess I get to stay another free night at the Holiday Inn on your guys' dime (taxes)...'s not all bad.

Woke up about 7am with my 3yr old boy climbing into bed with me.  About 10 minutes later his little brother followed with a diaper bomb only parents could love.  I made them breakfast, watched homeward bound then we went to the park and played.  Lunch then naps.  I love my days off.

How did I get my morning started off?


Well...   let's see. I slapped the fucking alarm clock off.
Then I gingerly eased out of bed so I wouldn't step on the dog that's taken to sleeping on my side of the bed.
Then I trudged my way through the layer of dirty clothes my wife has on the floor of the bedroom/bathroom/closet.
Then I got dressed while all three of the dogs decided it would be nice to try and sit in my lap as I put my shoes on.
Then I trudged through the layer of junk that my wife has scattered across the floor in the hallway, living room, dining room, and kitchen.
Then I realized there was no more cereal and my choices for breakfast at that point were either leftover potato stroganoff or Cheez-Its (get your own box).
Then I trudge my way back through the layer of junk on the floor to go out to the car, realizing that it was a beautiful day outside and it would be wasted in a cubicle shithole.
Then as I drove to work I had to fight my way through the street to our building since the idiots doing construction on the building near us can't park for shit.
Then I went inside and have been listening to a bunch of fucking stupid punkass kids in cubicle row cutting up, sniggering, guffawing, and chittering like a band of monkeys.



I haven't seen any dead bodies yet though.



Damn...   I feel like taxman.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I got woken up with a hot blowjob and breakfast in bed by a beautiful woman who can cook.  I start most mornings like this. Not married yet I see. nope not sure if I want to be after reading the married sex thread.  I would rather be eaten by gay hungry alligators who have aids than give up sex

Here is some light reading for you:

www.nomarriage.com

I had a test today in Embryology that counted for 10% of my grade in the class and it was a 10 question test.  Good thing I get to drink a little tonight to relax some.

I started off this morning with a 2 hour long skirmish game of Age of Empires III.  Then I went to work.

Quoted: Quoted: Woken up about twenty minutes before my alarm by a cop friend of mine who was asking if he could please borrow on of my pistols for patrol. ha?

Basically, he's a college friend of mine who just got hired on full-time at one agency and reserve at another.  He had a full-size Glock when he got hired on at the full-time agency, but they issued him the exact same gun so he decided he'd rather get a backup gun.  So he sold his Glock and got a little subcompact 9mm.  Anyhow, come to find out the reserve department doesn't issue a weapon and the full-time department doesn't allow their weapons to be used on-duty anywhere else.  So he has no gun to qualify with and carry with the reserve gig until he can buy a new full-size pistol.  Hence the request to borrow one of mine for a few weeks.  I told him I had a nice single action .44 mag revolver and leather drop holster he can use if he promises to chew on some tobacco and spit while approaching each car he pulls over.

Had a real nice yummy slice of pie.    

vmax84

Quoted: How did I get my morning started off? Well...   let's see. I slapped the fucking alarm clock off. Then I gingerly eased out of bed so I wouldn't step on the dog that's taken to sleeping on my side of the bed. Then I trudged my way through the layer of dirty clothes my wife has on the floor of the bedroom/bathroom/closet. Then I got dressed while all three of the dogs decided it would be nice to try and sit in my lap as I put my shoes on. Then I trudged through the layer of junk that my wife has scattered across the floor in the hallway, living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then I realized there was no more cereal and my choices for breakfast at that point were either leftover potato stroganoff or Cheez-Its (get your own box). Then I trudge my way back through the layer of junk on the floor to go out to the car, realizing that it was a beautiful day outside and it would be wasted in a cubicle shithole. Then as I drove to work I had to fight my way through the street to our building since the idiots doing construction on the building near us can't park for shit. Then I went inside and have been listening to a bunch of fucking stupid punkass kids in cubicle row cutting up, sniggering, guffawing, and chittering like a band of monkeys. I haven't seen any dead bodies yet though. Damn...   I feel like taxman.

Best post of the day.

vmax84

Woke up at 5:30 and listened to the radio for a few minutes while I waited for my morning boner to go down so I could pee.  

Short, short version:

Crawled out of bed at 0450 and into the shower.  Left for work at 0530.

I'm an electrician (commercial), and have been working at USAA since Sep 2004.  The job has slowed way down, and we expected some layoffs until it gets rolling again.

I start work at 0630.  About 0830, my foreman gives me 4 3way switches and says to install them.  I go over to the conference room, and discover the dumbass who pulled the wire didn't pull enough - I needed 4 travelers, a ground, and two returns in one box, and 4 travelers, a ground, and the hot in the other - he omitted one of the returns in the first box.

So I go get the wire cart. At 0900, just as I had tied a green wire and a yellow wire to the green wire in the box, here comes our General Foreman.

Little Fucking Hitler.

He hates my guts.  Long story short, me and another guy put a case (documentation) together, and got Little Fucking Hitler's best friend, and my (previous) Foreman fired.  We actually had a legal harassment case - I consulted with an attorney for various reasons - he just about begged us to sue.  I said, "No."  I just wanted the fucker fired.  Once we presented our case to the shop, they really had no other alternative.  Our EEO lady was quite upset.  

So anyway, Little Fucking Hitler comes up and gives me the 'work is slowing down, your work is outstanding, blah blah blah and we're gonna temporarily lay you off' speech.

Little Fucking Hitler couldn't wait for the first opportunity to get rid of me.  But I'm pretty much golden with the shop - they'll get me back to work soon.  A month would be soon enough for me.

I knew once things slowed down, I'd be the first to go.  Me and 3 other guys got hacked.  Monday, 3 more will get it.  Then 3 more on Friday.

My good friend called, and said the guys at work all took black electrical tape, and wrapped it around the arms in a gesture of remorse - like the pro athletes do.  I guess Little Fucking Hitler told our Foreman to make them remove it.  They refused.  I have some good friends.

I get to my truck at 0930, and went to Jim's for breakfast.  Did the crossword, talked to the waitress, and tried to figure out what to do next.

So I decided to do the most responsible thing one can do when he is laid off - goof off for a week or two.  

6AM formation for a 10mile road march.

Quoted: Woke up at 5:30 and listened to the radio for a few minutes while I waited for my morning boner to go down so I could pee.

+1,000,000

I left that part out of mine.

Woke up
Ate some funky ass cereal
Looked up some porn
Got Dressed, Went to work
Went and played in the dirt with 20MPH winds.  (It didn't taste good)
Finally got to run the backhoe, buttoned that bitch up to get out of the wind and spent extra time cleaning up the ped and backfilling the trench.
Found out the 12 pair cable is actually a 6... which wasn't good.
Also found out the Conklin system is full, still not good.


I

Quoted: Found out the 12 pair cable is actually a 6... which wasn't good. I

Dig up a cable, did ya?