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Posted: 10/5/2014 8:12:26 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/5/2014 9:53:15 AM EST by onewhodoesnotsleep]
My son will be with him every other week. Seems solid from what i know. Really do not give a shit about her and glad she found someone. He seems to be a good distraction from her railing on me . What questions should I ask him?

ETA The ex and I don't talk at all...our daughter was 16 and passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. My wifes dad died just as my daughters funeral started. A few weeks later I found out my wife was sleeping with someone she works with, almost half her age. So I had a lot to deal with at the time. No worries I am a strong person so I dealt with it.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:14:00 AM EST
Beans or no beans?
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:14:21 AM EST
Beans or no beans
9 or 45
870 or 590

Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:18:20 AM EST
He may be a member here. He has a decked out ar on his face book and apparently makes a shit load more money than I do..
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:21:56 AM EST
Ask him for a job and some .22LR?
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:24:49 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/5/2014 8:28:01 AM EST by onewhodoesnotsleep]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By ToledoXJ:
Ask him for a job and some .22LR?
View Quote



I am going to see if he wants to go quail hunting together. What could go wrong?
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:28:03 AM EST
Keep an open mind, and try to be cool. He could be a great guy in spite of being with your ex.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:30:08 AM EST
That's just my trunk gun, the decked out ones are in the safe.




Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:30:21 AM EST
he seems to be so no worries on that....

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By sixnine:
Keep an open mind, and try to be cool. He could be a great guy in spite of being with your ex.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
View Quote

Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:34:40 AM EST
Hahahahaha....I hope he is an arfer I have not met the guy but to be honest, what I have heard, I like him. Fuck, what if we become friends?




Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By BUGMERC:
That's just my trunk gun, the decked out ones are in the safe.




View Quote

Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:39:27 AM EST
My ex thinks I should be best buddies with her new husband.

I'm not, but he seems like a decent guy.

The thing is, now he's going through all the bullshit I went through with her and their marriage is on the rocks after a year. I feel a bit sorry for the guy, but it makes me smile because I know that's not my struggle any more.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:40:16 AM EST
Three way?
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:44:04 AM EST
I am not even going to warn him what he is in for....but want to know how he will handle certain situations with my son. That's all that matters to me..
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:45:30 AM EST
fuck, I am done with that ham wallet....


Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Arndog86:
Three way?
View Quote

Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:45:59 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Arndog86:
Three way?
View Quote


bring the paper plates
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:46:09 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
I am not even going to warn him what he is in for....but want to know how he will handle certain situations with my son. That's all that matters to me..
View Quote


That is a healthy attitude.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:46:46 AM EST
Talk about the child but not the ex, if he brings her up be cool and politely change the subject. Other than that just talk guys stuff, like meeting a fellow arfcommer for the 1st time.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:47:02 AM EST
Not trying to sound gay but I love you guys
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:48:20 AM EST
My current wife used to hang out with my ex wife. It was strange. No 3 ways but it was weird as hell to come home and have both them sitting there bullshitting with each other.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:50:46 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
I am not even going to warn him what he is in for....but want to know how he will handle certain situations with my son. That's all that matters to me..
View Quote


That's the only thing that should matter. You are doing it right OP
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:51:14 AM EST
FWIW, I loved my ex's exs, he had a type, so naturally, we were similar people. I hope he gets a new woman so we can all be friends.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:56:30 AM EST
But what questions should I ask him? Really started this with the hopes PlaneJane would give me some advice. She was there for my...well...medical issue a while back.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 8:57:33 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Arndog86:
Three way?
View Quote



Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:00:05 AM EST
Ask him if she still does that thing with her tongue. Start things out right.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:02:19 AM EST
Take the high road, be a gentleman who has moved on and wish him the best mentally for taking that crazy bitch off your hands.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:03:11 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
But what questions should I ask him? Really started this with the hopes PlaneJane would give me some advice. She was there for my...well...medical issue a while back.
View Quote


Just make friends. He's going to be parenting your kid, if you can have good relations with him, that's a good thing.

Do what you usually do to make friends. Once you're friends , discuss parenting.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:03:18 AM EST
There's a reason why she's your ex and if he could put up with her while you couldn't, maybe he's not so bad.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:04:02 AM EST
I read the title as "I'm meeting my ex boyfriend" and thought this was a bigpony thread...
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:04:12 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Arndog86:
Three way?
View Quote


Oh hell no!
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:04:40 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/5/2014 9:05:32 AM EST by The_Floridian]
I'm not sure you gave basis for why you should be asking him much. She is your main contact for the child, and what she and he do while with your son is her responsibility, choice, and influence. And I'm writing that knowing full well that it sucks.

But he's just a boyfriend, and those come and go in a single mother's life for a while. He'll be good to your son if he wants her to be good to him.

The best way to 'ask' him questions is more to just strike up a friendly conversation with him (maybe using her as the start of the conversation) as if he had every potential of being a good friend. He'll tell you his interests, share what you guys have in common, and you can judge his character by some of that.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:05:43 AM EST
You sound like you are headed the right way. No reason to hang out and drink beer. You just have to tolerate him and be social .
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:05:54 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By BigeasySnow:


Just make friends. He's going to be parenting your kid, if you can have good relations with him, that's a good thing.

Do what you usually do to make friends. Once you're friends , discuss parenting.
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By BigeasySnow:
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
But what questions should I ask him? Really started this with the hopes PlaneJane would give me some advice. She was there for my...well...medical issue a while back.


Just make friends. He's going to be parenting your kid, if you can have good relations with him, that's a good thing.

Do what you usually do to make friends. Once you're friends , discuss parenting.



just think how awesome it would be for your kid to have two positive male role models.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:09:47 AM EST
I can't believe I'm the first to say - pics of the ex or it never happened.


Seriously, focus on son, it's all about him and his emotional wellbeing at this point. Remember, he didn't ask for any of this. It could turn out to be a very positive experience for him if everyone remains cordial and cooperative. Best of luck to you.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:12:02 AM EST
That's the right way to do it, OP. He's going to be in your kids life don't make it harder than it has to be. I've met my my wife s ex, they have 2 kids that we keep 90% of the time and he gets the rest, and he is OK. I dontbtalk to him too much BC our schedule is different but I know the boys are in good hands and he knows the same.

His new girlfriend, however, fucking psychotic and think she is on the way out.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:12:54 AM EST
Yes, probably a plus all around if the ex settles into her new life and son gets a less dramatic domestic situation.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:15:12 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 4thUSMC:


Oh hell no!
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 4thUSMC:
Originally Posted By Arndog86:
Three way?


Oh hell no!

Op should bring a paper plate. You never know.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:16:12 AM EST
We don't talk at all...our daughter was 16 and passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. A few weeks after I found out she was sleeping with someone she works with, almost half her age. So I had a lot to deal with at the time. No worries I am a strong person so I dealt with it.

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By The_Floridian:
I'm not sure you gave basis for why you should be asking him much. She is your main contact f the child, and what she and he do while with your son is her responsibility, choice, and influence. And I'm writing that knowing full well that it sucks.

But he's just a boyfriend, and those come and go in a single mother's life for a while. He'll be good to your son if he wants her to be good to him.

The best way to 'ask' him questions is more to just strike up a friendly conversation with him (maybe using her as the start of the conversation) as if he had every potential of being a good friend. He'll tell you his interests, share what you guys have in common, and you can judge his character by some of that.
View Quote

Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:16:59 AM EST
Who is bigger?
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:20:52 AM EST
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
My son will be with him every other week. Seems solid from what i know. Really do not give a shit about her and glad she found someone. He seems to be a good distraction from her railing on me . What questions should I ask him?
View Quote



Get the names and addresses of all his family members. From his folks on down. Where they work etc.

Inform him in private that if anything happens to your son while on his watch that there will be hell to pay.

Just saying.

ain't joking.

gd
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:22:42 AM EST
Is he into three-ways?
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:26:52 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By whiskerz:
You sound like you are headed the right way. No reason to hang out and drink beer. You just have to tolerate him and be social .
View Quote


+1. just make sure the kids are happy and being treated good.

Oh and in your story I'm coming from your ex's bf view in my relationship. I don't say more then a couple words if any to this guy every time I drop the kids off to him. (my girls ex) is a dad that wanted to harm me when he found out she found a new guy and that the kids loved having me around.

It may be awkward for him too so basically just introduce your self and ask what he does for a job then go from there.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:28:02 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By flynhghr2001:
Beans or no beans9 or 45
870 or 590

View Quote

This should be a tshirt.


I'd buy 3.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:28:04 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/5/2014 9:28:26 AM EST by outrage9]
My ex is PITA, I'm much happier dealing with her new husband than her. We drive halfway across GA to meet for visitation and it's usually just him I'm meeting so I'm very thankful to not have to deal with her. He's several years older than her and exactly what she needed instead of me, a daddy

So you may find it a better situation.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:29:56 AM EST
I'm sorry for your loss OP.

Sounds like you have a healthy attitude on this issue. That is the most important aspect (to me) in order to ensure a stable environment for your son.

I have two teenaged daughters. I am not looking forward to my ex wife finding a boyfriend. Creeps me out that the may be around some random guy. One thing ex and I did agree on is no cohabitating unless married. Maybe the only rational thought she's ever had.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:32:24 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:36:47 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
I am not even going to warn him what he is in for....but want to know how he will handle certain situations with my son. That's all that matters to me..
View Quote


It's better that way. You're done with the ex from the you and her relational point of view.


No sense in keeping whatever fights happened between you and your ex alive.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:56:49 AM EST
So her new guy is like you, but moreso? If she cheated on you, she will cheat on him. If she is insistent on bringing boyfriends into your son's life, this could be the start of a series of decent guys that rotate in and out off his life. Not directly harmful, but definitely teaches him things about men women that won't serve him well later in life.

I am in a somewhat similar situation as you, and while I do not lack for female companionship, they are only companionable when I don't have my son. The weeks that I do have custody I turn into a romantic hermit. My son knows very little about my female friends, other than that I have them. If they don't like that arrangement, they go their way.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 9:57:48 AM EST
"ham wallet.... "


Link Posted: 10/5/2014 10:06:30 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:


I am going to see if he wants to go quail hunting together. What could go wrong?
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
Originally Posted By ToledoXJ:
Ask him for a job and some .22LR?


I am going to see if he wants to go quail hunting together. What could go wrong?


Is he a lawyer? If you like the guy, don't bring Dick Cheney. If you don't . . .
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 10:17:08 AM EST
Maybe I missed it but how old is your son?

Also, so sorry to hear about your daughter.
Link Posted: 10/5/2014 10:21:20 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/5/2014 10:22:53 AM EST by fla556guy]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
Hahahahaha....I hope he is an arfer I have not met the guy but to be honest, what I have heard, I like him. Fuck, what if we become friends?





View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By onewhodoesnotsleep:
Hahahahaha....I hope he is an arfer I have not met the guy but to be honest, what I have heard, I like him. Fuck, what if we become friends?




Originally Posted By BUGMERC:
That's just my trunk gun, the decked out ones are in the safe.







that would be the ultimate payback, in all honesty. Really shows you don't give two shits about her, and most ex's HATE not having that emotional power over you.
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