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Posted: 9/28/2005 7:48:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/29/2005 5:20:59 AM EDT by Dolomite]
And all I can say is:

JESUS LORD GOD IN HEAVEN THE SHOW SUCKS ASS.

If you’ve never seen the show before, don’t, but if you have to, here’s what you can expect:

First off, you get to endure some twangy fiddle/banjo intro music backed with the haunting vocal stylings of Mr. Chuck Norris before you eventually find out that this show has Adam Baldwin in it. A lot of people will say that he’s not related to the Baldwin brothers at all – but judging by the intensity of his suckiness, the Magic 8 Ball says:"It is certain."

Moving on, the basic plot revolves around a mix-mash gang of “space rebels” trying to elude these oppressive aggressors known as the “Federal Union Alliance” who are always just this close to foiling the Firefly crew’s many looting missions. The Firefly crew prefers to use “revolver-esque” sidearms but then they eat using chopsticks (?). That's OK though since the flag of the Allinace is Old Glory mixed with the flag of China, a foreboding political prediction that I’m sure will cause quite a stir in a lot of seventh grade social studies classes around the ‘verse.

600+ years after the Civil War, the main cast is constantly forcing out pre-Lonesome Dove phrases like; “Y’all” and “reckon” and “you best be”. Any unintentional humor creeping out during the show is derived from the sublingual pain of these alleged actors knowing just how suckily their dialogue sucks.

Try saying: “I reckon y’all best be swinging by Planet Waffle House for the pecan special. Then headin’ on down to the NASROCKET speedway and delivering this here parcel of space medicine to Brown Coat President Jefferson Davis?” “Yep, reckon so Mal.”” - and then keeping a straight face while doing it. Somewhere in Southern California a Subway and a Kinko’s lament the loss of several mediocre workers.


[Ring-ring]

Excuse me.

[Ring-ring]

Dolomite: Yellow?

Dolomite’s ass: Hey Dolomite! It’s your ass.

Dolomite: Sup ass?

Dolomite’s ass: Hey dude, can I get the entire 11 episodes of Firefly on DVD back? There are a few minor polyps down here, and well, they’re putting together some theme costumes for this weekend’s premier of Serenity, so before shit gets out of hand I’d like to crush them to a painful death.

Dolomite: No problemo. Jo got it mange. Say, are you going to keep that whore character around?

Dolomite’s ass: Dur! That goes without saying. Thanks bro.

Dolomite: All right then. Later.[click]

Anyway, after watching the first show I nearly burned out my remote desperately searching my pathetic cable system looking for something funnier and with more of an edge. Hoping beyond hope that Ishtar would be on AMC, I fortunately came across ABC’s “According to Jim”, and I was able to mentally wipe my hands off on that pile of old putrid dung, Jim Belushi.

So, if it’s at all possible to save yourself from being subjected this hunk of MEGA-ASS SUCKNESS this weekend – do it.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:49:18 AM EDT
<------runs to get popcorn.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:51:59 AM EDT
Saw the original pilot and the revised pilot and it didn't do anything for me.
Deadwood also bored the shit out of me. I gave it a whole season and nope, wasn't interested.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:52:22 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 7:54:00 AM EDT by Alien]
Sounds like you are going to burn in hell for eternity for your comments! Repent, and maybe you will be shown some mercy!

It was a very good show in my opinion. I dunno what you're talking about with the southern drawl thing. It's been a year since I've seen the show but I don't remember any terrible hillybilly talk.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:52:45 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 7:53:14 AM EDT by Kharn]
Oh no you din't!


Kharn
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:53:04 AM EDT

I liked you better when you were locked.

Seriously, I didn't like the show very much at first, but after watching a few more episodes it really grew on me. 'Train Job' is still my least favorite episode, followed by the Reaver episode, which I believe is #2.

There are a lot of little details about the show that really make it stand out from the crowd, IMO.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:57:49 AM EDT
Welcome back, Dolomite.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:10:32 AM EDT
Oh well, you're free to have bad taste. I wouldn't be bragging about it though.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:10:52 AM EDT
You needed a whole thread to say you didn't like it? Good for you.

Personally, I liked it a lot and I've shown it to about 4 other people who have now bought the DVD set themselves and another 6 who've borrowed the whole collection from me. Hell, I've still got two discs loaned out now and two people waiting for them to get back. To each his own, I guess.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:13:06 AM EDT
Everybody has different tastes. Yours doesn't run to space opera. No skin off my nose. Sell your DVD set to someone who'll enjoy it.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:14:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By KBaker:
Everybody has different tastes. Yours doesn't run to space opera. No skin off my nose. Sell your DVD set to someone who'll enjoy it.


+1 Firefly is a dud for me but I love BSG
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:15:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 37Victor:
Hell, I've still got two discs loaned out now and two people waiting for them to get back. To each his own, I guess.


Dude, tell these people that they can buy these on ebay for like 6 bucks. Maybe then you'll get your DVDs back.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:17:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RikWriter:
Oh well, you're free to have bad taste. I wouldn't be bragging about it though.


+1
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:36:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dolomite:

Originally Posted By 37Victor:
Hell, I've still got two discs loaned out now and two people waiting for them to get back. To each his own, I guess.


Dude, tell these people that they can buy these on ebay for like 6 bucks. Maybe then you'll get your DVDs back.

i1.ebayimg.com/03/i/04/fd/2b/ef_1_b.JPG



But I'll never get back the time I wasted reading your post...
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:43:21 AM EDT
AAAhahahaha!

I need to spend some time with the show (I caught 15 minutes of it when it was first run but it didn't do anything for me) before I reserve judgment but it sounds like you've done that and found it wanting.

*snif* I missed this during the bannination...
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:49:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37:
I need to spend some time with the show (I caught 15 minutes of it when it was first run but it didn't do anything for me) before I reserve judgment but it sounds like you've done that and found it wanting.


I didn't like it during the first run either. I couldn't reconcile the six-shooters with the spacecraft.

Then someone explained Joss Wheaton's vision to me and it fell into place.

The high tech stuff is monopolized by the central planets. Many humans were basically dumped on recently terraformed planets and had to get by the best they could with whatever they could. If you think about it it's not too far fetched. I boarded vessels in the Persian Gulf that had cell phones or iridium phones, but the crew shared one toothbrush. So it really isn't that far out of the norm for technology to be that disperate over a large area/population.

If nothing else, the show has great chemistry between the cast/characters. IMO, that's when SG-1 went downhill, when the chemistry left.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:50:30 AM EDT
<--trying not to hate Dolomite, who is usually witty...

Firefly= the only good thing to come from televisions since...Schoolhouse Rock? I dunno. Some long freakin' time ago. There is no show I've enjoyed more. I would trade everything else on TV (now or ever) for more seasons of Firefly.

That is all.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:51:57 AM EDT
i protest!

1.) Posting derogatory comments of a racial, religious, or sexual nature. This includes your username, signature line, and title. Site Staff and Moderators reserve the right to edit these items and to remove your ability to modify them in the future.


firefly must be a religion the way some people talk about it
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:53:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dolomite:
Moving on, the basic plot revolves around a mix-mash gang of “space rebels” trying to elude these oppressive aggressors known as the “Federal Union Alliance” who are always just this close to foiling the Firefly crew’s many looting missions. The Firefly crew prefers to use “revolver-esque” sidearms but then they eat using chopsticks (?). That's OK though since the flag of the Allinace is Old Glory mixed with the flag of China, a foreboding political prediction that I’m sure will cause quite a stir in a lot of seventh grade social studies classes around the ‘verse..


So, its kinda like "the A-Team in Space" ??
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:54:16 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 8:55:01 AM EDT by KN]
So in other words

You did not like it because of the twangy music and the country western theme?

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:54:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Lon_Moer:

Originally Posted By Dolomite:
Moving on, the basic plot revolves around a mix-mash gang of “space rebels” trying to elude these oppressive aggressors known as the “Federal Union Alliance” who are always just this close to foiling the Firefly crew’s many looting missions. The Firefly crew prefers to use “revolver-esque” sidearms but then they eat using chopsticks (?). That's OK though since the flag of the Allinace is Old Glory mixed with the flag of China, a foreboding political prediction that I’m sure will cause quite a stir in a lot of seventh grade social studies classes around the ‘verse..


So, its kinda like "the A-Team in Space" ??



No, because people die. A LOT of people die.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:55:09 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 8:58:05 AM EDT by Skibane]
Yep, if you have ADD or your mama dropped you on your head one too many times, this show is definitely not for you...

EDIT: So, all this time, you've been ragging on a show you never even watched until yesterday?
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:59:55 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 9:03:42 AM EDT by WildBoar]
Dolomite, good to see you back.

You have just brought down the wrath of ARCOMS hardcore geeks with that review. I never saw the show but I enjoyed the heck out of the review. Just wait and read some oif the responses you will get from the followers.


Somewhere in Southern California a Subway and a Kinko’s lament the loss of several mediocre workers.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:00:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Lon_Moer:

Originally Posted By Dolomite:
Moving on, the basic plot revolves around a mix-mash gang of “space rebels” trying to elude these oppressive aggressors known as the “Federal Union Alliance” who are always just this close to foiling the Firefly crew’s many looting missions. The Firefly crew prefers to use “revolver-esque” sidearms but then they eat using chopsticks (?). That's OK though since the flag of the Allinace is Old Glory mixed with the flag of China, a foreboding political prediction that I’m sure will cause quite a stir in a lot of seventh grade social studies classes around the ‘verse..


So, its kinda like "the A-Team in Space" ??



Thats wht I was thinking when I read that.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:04:01 AM EDT
I will watch the show and then render a decision.

I can say at this time that X-Files completely sucked ass.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:12:32 AM EDT
The show is post civil war wild west western in space. Not for everyone, but everyone who I know that has watched it, has enjoyed it.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:16:07 AM EDT
Would those of you more familiar with the show say that if one liked Babylon 5, they would like Firefly?

(I loved B5)
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:21:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dolomite:
And all I can say is:

JESUS LORD GOD IN HEAVEN THE SHOW SUCKS ASS.




I'd say that's a pretty high recommendation.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:23:13 AM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37:
Would those of you more familiar with the show say that if one liked Babylon 5, they would like Firefly?

(I loved B5)



I'm not sure that there is a direct comparison, but I like both.

B5 had interesting characters and a coherent plotline- something missing from the las couple of Star Drek spinoffs.

I like Firefly. There. I said it.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:26:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Brohawk:

Originally Posted By macman37:
Would those of you more familiar with the show say that if one liked Babylon 5, they would like Firefly?

(I loved B5)



I'm not sure that there is a direct comparison, but I like both.

B5 had interesting characters and a coherent plotline- something missing from the las couple of Star Drek spinoffs.

I like Firefly. There. I said it.



Thanks for the advisement, Bro.

I love Sci-fi; it's just gotta be right is all. I must have caught the wrong 15 minutes of it to get my first impression! To be fair I didn't immediately love B5 either.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:26:58 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 9:28:20 AM EDT by 37Victor]
I'm not sure if Firefly really has a true geek following. I for one don't like any of the Stargate shows, Babylon 5, or any of the Star Trek shows. I think the new Battlestar Galactica is kind of fun, and I love Firefly. For some reason it seems to get more than the typical sci fi audience hooked.

ETA: Also, I've noticed that the Firefly appeal is all about the characters. Honestly, most people don't like it after just one episode, especially the pilot. You really have to watch two or three before the thing hooks you.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:30:10 AM EDT
The fact that he would post the transcript of a conversation with his ass is why I like Dolomite
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:32:15 AM EDT
Sorry Dolomite, I'm gonna have to disagree with you on this one. After seeing the first episode, I went out and bought the whole season. And I wasn't disappointed.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:33:26 AM EDT
Hey Dildo-lomite, I was going to post a clever retort, but I, well, never mind, not worth the time it would take to type it.

Glad you enjoyed firefly, hope to see you at Serenity opening day. Maybe an ointment will help you with the trouble you are having with your ass.

Don't bother with a flame, I won't be opening this thread again, sorry.


ByteTheBullet (-:
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:37:49 AM EDT
Yeah right. I got no taste.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:39:27 AM EDT
*yawn*
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:42:51 AM EDT
Seriously - "Firefly" makes "El Chupacabra 2: Dark Seas" look aloft and cerebral. The time it takes to watch one episode could be better spent teaching pre-schoolers how to light matches.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:48:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By kill-9:
*yawn*


+1
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:53:55 AM EDT
Yeah, I'm done with this too. Have fun, Dolomite. You could always try some of the great stuff TV is putting out now. I hear Commander in Chief is doing well in the ratings.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:54:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 9:57:41 AM EDT by xinflt]

Originally Posted By JCKnife:
<--trying not to hate Dolomite, who is usually witty...

Firefly= the only good thing to come from televisions since...Schoolhouse Rock? I dunno. Some long freakin' time ago. There is no show I've enjoyed more. I would trade everything else on TV (now or ever) for more seasons of Firefly.

That is all.



+1

I could not have said it better!

Firefly =

Edit to add: I have now placed Dolomite in the FOX-, Clean Cut, Cynide, GunKid, and category!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:03:10 AM EDT
Hot women, Check.
Lots of gunplay, Check.
Hot women, Check.
An actual plot, Check.
Hot women, Check.
Integration of Sci Fi/Western, Check.
And oh yeah, HOT WOMEN!
Damn man, what's not to like?

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:08:42 AM EDT
OK. So not every episode sucked mega-ass. The one called "Inara battles the giant pussy" was pretty awesome.

Wait - I found a clip of it on the intraweb:

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:11:14 AM EDT
BUN tyen-shung duh ee-DWAY-RO.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:19:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 10:23:25 AM EDT by WildBoar]

Originally Posted By ByteTheBullet:
Hey Dildo-lomite, I was going to post a clever retort, but I, well, never mind, not worth the time it would take to type it.

Glad you enjoyed firefly, hope to see you at Serenity opening day. Maybe an ointment will help you with the trouble you are having with your ass.

Don't bother with a flame, I won't be opening this thread again, sorry.


ByteTheBullet (-:



Man its wild how some folks get so bent over a critical review of their favorite show that they have to resort to personal attacks and insults? That is plain old insane. I think Dolomite should be the official Arfcom movie critic. I dont care if he rips on onew of my favorite shows, those reviews are plain out funny I dont care who you are. Well unless you an ultrasensitive person who holds a TV show so dear they need to resort to personal attacks to defend it.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:24:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dolomite:
OK. So not every episode sucked mega-ass. The one called "Inara battles the giant pussy" was pretty awesome.

Wait - I found a clip of it on the intraweb:

gifdepot.com/albums/GIFsAthruL/combatcat.gif





Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:42:53 AM EDT
Haven't seen the show.

But damn, that was a funny review.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:16:28 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 11:16:52 AM EDT by hakim]

Originally Posted By WildBoar:

Originally Posted By ByteTheBullet:
Hey Dildo-lomite, I was going to post a clever retort, but I, well, never mind, not worth the time it would take to type it.

Glad you enjoyed firefly, hope to see you at Serenity opening day. Maybe an ointment will help you with the trouble you are having with your ass.

Don't bother with a flame, I won't be opening this thread again, sorry.


ByteTheBullet (-:



Man its wild how some folks get so bent over a critical review of their favorite show that they have to resort to personal attacks and insults? That is plain old insane. I think Dolomite should be the official Arfcom movie critic. I dont care if he rips on onew of my favorite shows, those reviews are plain out funny I dont care who you are. Well unless you an ultrasensitive person who holds a TV show so dear they need to resort to personal attacks to defend it.





Wildboar,
What you fail to realize is that Dolomite's review is a personal attack.

"Somewhere in Southern California a Subway and a Kinko’s lament the loss of several mediocre workers. "

I think Dolomite's is to busy trying to please his anal passage to take the time to sit down and watch the program.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:23:34 AM EDT
If the same people who hate firefly hate deadwood I may have to check it out.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:29:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 11:30:58 AM EDT by WildBoar]

Originally Posted By hakim:

Originally Posted By WildBoar:

Originally Posted By ByteTheBullet:
Hey Dildo-lomite, I was going to post a clever retort, but I, well, never mind, not worth the time it would take to type it.

Glad you enjoyed firefly, hope to see you at Serenity opening day. Maybe an ointment will help you with the trouble you are having with your ass.

Don't bother with a flame, I won't be opening this thread again, sorry.


ByteTheBullet (-:



Man its wild how some folks get so bent over a critical review of their favorite show that they have to resort to personal attacks and insults? That is plain old insane. I think Dolomite should be the official Arfcom movie critic. I dont care if he rips on onew of my favorite shows, those reviews are plain out funny I dont care who you are. Well unless you an ultrasensitive person who holds a TV show so dear they need to resort to personal attacks to defend it.





Wildboar,
What you fail to realize is that Dolomite's review is a personal attack.

"Somewhere in Southern California a Subway and a Kinko’s lament the loss of several mediocre workers. "

I think Dolomite's is to busy trying to please his anal passage to take the time to sit down and watch the program.



I thought he meant the loss of workers meant the actors for the show would have been mediocre employess for those firms. I didnt see it as him saying all employees of those firms as being mediocre. I saw it as a hack on the actors not the employees. Are some of the members here who are core supportes of the show employees of those firms?

I just saw it as a funny review of a movie he didnt like. Thats all and I thought it was pretty funny. I didnt know what he knew some member shere were employess pf Subway or Kinkos and he thought they were mediocre. I though he was poking fun at the actors.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:35:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Gunslinger808:
Hot women, Check.
Lots of gunplay, Check.
Hot women, Check.
An actual plot, Check.
Hot women, Check.
Integration of Sci Fi/Western, Check.
And oh yeah, HOT WOMEN!
Damn man, what's not to like?




Don't forget "the good guys kill the bad guys"...when was the last time you saw a show of any kind where when the good guy shot the bad guy, the bad guy died?

Or, where the good guy kicked the bad guy into a spinning jet turbine...and then moved on down the line to question the next bad guy?

Quality programming doesn't exist like that anymore!



Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:35:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By WildBoar:
I just saw it as a funny review of a movie he didnt like. Thats all and I thought it was pretty funny. I didnt know what he knew some member shere were employess pf Subway or Kinkos and he thought they were mediocre. I though he was poking fun at the actors.



But it certainly wasn't a very good review, if you have to spend so much time defending it.
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