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Posted: 1/30/2006 11:11:36 AM EDT
For masturbating in the General Manager's office.

I walked in, the guy was in my boss's chair, feet up on the desk with pants to the ankles... ::shudders::

He'll have an interesting time explaining that one when he files for unemployment!
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:12:09 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:13:27 AM EDT
What a sick puppy!

At least wait till you get home damn!
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:16:46 AM EDT
So..............is she hot??
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:18:16 AM EDT
Sheesh man! It wasn't your desk!
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:18:17 AM EDT
Well, he is a 5'9" African American male about 22years of age... whatever floats your boat.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:21:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 11:22:13 AM EDT by w4klr]

Originally Posted By GUNGUY1911:
Sheesh man! It wasn't your desk!



true, my office has a thumbprint scanner on the door
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:23:15 AM EDT


That's just nasty.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:23:39 AM EDT
Maybe he was just cock-swabbing the GM's mug.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:24:44 AM EDT
We really didn't need the details, really.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:25:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By w4klr:
For masturbating in the General Manager's office.

I walked in, the guy was in my boss's chair, feet up on the desk with pants to the ankles... ::shudders::

He'll have an interesting time explaining that one when he files for unemployment!



WTF doesnt anybody knock anymore for entering a door
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:25:58 AM EDT
Reading threads about guys whacking off at work is about as popular as the divorce threads around here lately.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:26:08 AM EDT
Did you let him finish first?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:28:49 AM EDT
Sorry dude.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:31:16 AM EDT
Is no one gonna' say Worthless Without Pics?

I'm not gonna' say it, was just wondering if anyone else was??
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:33:41 AM EDT
uh....
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:36:19 AM EDT
Did you ask him WHY he was doing such a thing?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:38:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LABLOVER:
Is no one gonna' say Worthless Without Pics?

I'm not gonna' say it, was just wondering if anyone else was??



Perhaps pics of what the guy was whackin it to...


Originally Posted By Kooter:

Did you let him finish first?



Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:43:50 AM EDT
Isn't this the 2nd masturbation-related firing thread on ARFCOM in the past week?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:46:46 AM EDT
Maybe he was just channeling Jocelyn Elders....

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:51:26 AM EDT
another stroke victim.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:53:27 AM EDT
I did not need that mental image. I wonder if i can stab myself in the ear with a Q-tip and make it go away.

Dude, if you feel the irresistable urge to whack off at work, at least go lock yourself in the bathroom or something. I guess he was leaving the boss a "message".
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:54:37 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 11:55:17 AM EDT by WayneD]

Originally Posted By BenDover:
Isn't this the 2nd masturbation-related firing thread on ARFCOM in the past week?



At least the first guy was in the bathroom and just forgot to lock the door. This is just weird.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:54:43 AM EDT
Haha, I agree. I told him to file his complaint, punch out and that I would mail him his check next week.

Another oppressed victim I guess
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:57:30 AM EDT
this thread is exceptionally difficult to .... never mind.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 11:58:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 12:02:01 PM EDT by VoodooChile]
I think some people take the phrase "sticking it to the man" a little to literally

What happened to the good old days when folks just took a dump on the desk?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:02:00 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Hedonist:
another stroke victim.



hahaha a STROKE victim!



His monkey---><---Upstanding Employee
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:03:12 PM EDT
Negligent Discharge?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:03:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By spartacus2002:
this thread is exceptionally difficult to .... never mind.







Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:07:03 PM EDT
No one would need to fire me if I got caught playing tug of war with cyclops.

I'd run out of there as fast I could and never come back again. I might even move to a different state and change my name.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:10:56 PM EDT
That wasn't stroker ace was it?


At least part of him was upstanding!!!!
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:13:05 PM EDT
So why did you fire him?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:13:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 12:13:30 PM EDT by w4klr]

Originally Posted By PosterChild:
Negligent Discharge?



Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:15:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By VoodooChile:
I think some people take the phrase "sticking it to the man" a little to literally

What happened to the good old days when folks just took a dump on the desk?




Uh, the ARFCOM term is "dry-dock a stinkpickle".....

Please make a note of it.

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:18:04 PM EDT
I donno... if it isn't expressly forbidden in the Code of Conduct.......

Anyone want to bet as to whether or not the employee sues claiming it is a disease, and he should
be treated instead of fired?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:18:43 PM EDT
Did you shake his hand when he left?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:27:42 PM EDT
You and the business will probably be sued on a "Americans with Disability Act" claim. Masturbation in private by itself is not a ground for termination unless there is a written policy prohibiting such an act. Whacking off is a classic ADA disability defense. Hope you put your insurance carrier on notice.

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:33:05 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 12:33:37 PM EDT by w4klr]
He can sue all he wants, but when I testify to his less than perfect record of sexual harassment within the workplace... he may change his tune as to his credibility
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:33:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By lawdog:
You and the business will probably be sued on a "Americans with Disability Act" claim. Masturbation in private by itself is not a ground for termination unless there is a written policy prohibiting such an act....



I would wager that having one's pants down to his ankles is a violation of the company dress code.

I know of a couple who got fired after they were caught having sex in the guy's van in the company parking lot. They were indeed fired for dress code violation.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:35:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Wraithtouch:

Originally Posted By w4klr:
For masturbating in the General Manager's office.

I walked in, the guy was in my boss's chair, feet up on the desk with pants to the ankles... ::shudders::

He'll have an interesting time explaining that one when he files for unemployment!



WTF doesnt anybody knock anymore for entering a door




Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:36:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 12:40:35 PM EDT by LVMIKE]

Originally Posted By w4klr:
Haha, I agree. I told him to wash his hands,file a complaint, punch out and that I would mail him his check next week.

Another oppressed victim I guess

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:39:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By w4klr:
He can sue all he wants, but when I testify to his less than perfect record of sexual harassment within the workplace... he may change his tune as to his credibility



So he has been sexually harassing people in the office? Did you find one of the secretaries under the bosses desk? Or maybe the boss under the bosses desk?

Maybe he was getting ready to nut on somebody hiding on the floor.......

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:44:23 PM EDT
You guys act like you've never rubbed one out at the office before.



I remember reading a statistic once that said 17% of all people's hands that you shake have just touched their exposed genitals.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:50:55 PM EDT
17% of all people's hands that you shake have just touched their exposed genitals.

Aaaahhhhhhhhh....... make that 18%........
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:48:15 PM EDT
How come nobody asked for pictures?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:50:48 PM EDT
So, I guess that guy wasn't the only "upstanding" thing in that room, eh?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 2:38:12 PM EDT
Come now guys, leave poor Sgtar15 alone..
I bet he wasn't masturbating for the fun of it, he was probably killing kittens!!

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:13:45 PM EDT
I see a trend here......a weekly office masturbation thread?

Oh gosh.....a trend we could do without.......

Sounds like you have things WELL IN HAND there........
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:20:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 3:29:23 PM EDT by TRW]

Originally Posted By WyattEarp:
We really didn't need the details, really.



Sure we do....where's your sense of ARFCOM adventure?

Was he a righty, lefty, short stroker, long stroker....does his face get all scrunched up while he concentrates on the task (in hand). Did he have his tissue ready? Were his eyes closed while he fantasized about porking (insert object here)?????

5 pages
at least 10 puke icons
and an eventual lock!



Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:24:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BenDover:
You guys act like you've never rubbed one out at the office before.



I remember reading a statistic once that said 17% of all people's hands that you shake have just touched their exposed genitals.



Actually, for all the fucked up shit I've done in my life, tearing one off at the office hasn't made the list.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:25:13 PM EDT


Oh, yeah......can I have his job?
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