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Posted: 3/26/2009 8:26:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/27/2009 8:40:08 AM EDT by Evil_ATF]
This morning I woke up, got dressed in my gym clothes (today it was an old pair of USAF BMT PT shorts and a sleeveless Larue tee), got the kids ready for school grabbed the Bauer bag and hopped into the Jeep.

After dropping my spawn off at school, I drove to the gym, relishing the forthcoming swim, run (cardio day) and copious amounts of glorious female pooper that populates my little corner of the world.

I walk up to the front desk, the girl behind the counter says "Good morning, ****. How are you?". I smile, answer her by name and start reaching for my wallet in the Bauer Bag...

...only to find that I'd left my wallet in the pair of jeans I was wearing the day before, which were convieniently slung over the end of me bed 25 miles due west of the gym.

I smile, laugh and (calling her by name) tell her that I forgot my wallet, which contains my membership card.

Her demeanor changes, the smile disappears and she tells me that I can't get in without my ID card...even after she greeted me by name.

I half smile, unsure if she is fucking with me and point this fact out to her. She calls the manager over.

Manager, who is about 400 pounds of muscle, steroid and Nike apparel repeats to me that a membership ID card is required to gain entrance.

It crossed my mind to reach into the Magical Murder Bag, kneecap him with Jerry Senior, cut off his face with the SRK and then rape him to death.

Unfortunately...hang on.

(Evil spies Mrs. Evil's cat, Ninja, grooming it's anus while it lays on Evil's TAD Gear Ranger Hoodie. Evil snatches Ninja by the neck, tosses it onto the front porch and gives it the finger.)

Anyhow, unfortunately I had neither the desire nor the inclination to assert my dominance in his butthole...this time.

So, I bladed at 45 degrees, released my cock 'n balls, gave them both the 'helicopter' and returned to Battle Wagon 3.0.

Now I sit here...unfulfilled...restless...bored...strangely aroused...

What do I do with my morning, Arfcom?

UPDATE
I spoke to the manager this morning. Turns out that Ahnold was just the Assistant Manager. This gal was very reasonable. I explained the situation to her and she said she would speak with Counter Girl and see what she had to say. I told her not to use my name with Counter Girl, but rather just ask about "that client yesterday who forgot his ID" and see what she says.

No shit! General Manager Girl asks Counter Girls about it. GM called back apologizing profusely. Turns out GM asked Counter Girl "What happened yesterday morning with that guy who was refused entrance".

Counter Girl, without skipping a beat says "Who? You mean *****?".

April 2009 is Free Gym For Evil Month.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:28:47 AM EDT
Go back. Gas is cheap. Or put some shoes to pavement.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:29:06 AM EDT
lol, shoulda kneecapped him...
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:29:45 AM EDT
If they did this to me, I would be spending the morning checking out other gyms. Tell them why you are ckecking out other gyms.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:31:51 AM EDT



Set something on fire????


Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:32:28 AM EDT
You Sir are a scary scary man
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:33:15 AM EDT
Dude you're obsessed with raping something to death, which is cool and all, but hearing you talk about it all the time gets a little old.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:34:23 AM EDT
Go to Wal-Mart for ammo.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:35:03 AM EDT
Go for an hour fast walk.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:35:06 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 338winmag:
If they did this to me, I would be spending the morning checking out other gyms. Tell them why you are ckecking out other gyms.



QFT

Customer service is rewarded with continued patronage and the reverse holds true. If they know who the fuck you are, tell them to FOAD if they refuse entry.

Pretty simple solution.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:35:40 AM EDT
you should have at the very least drug him in the shower and pissed on him.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:35:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Evil_ATF:


It crossed my mind to reach into the Magical Murder Bag, kneecap him with Jerry Senior, cut off his face with the SRK and then rape him to death.



You have an inner poet lurking inside of you.

Get some pen and paper.

Make the pages weep blood.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:38:13 AM EDT
Do laps around the gym without your clothes.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:38:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Kuraki:
Go back. Gas is cheap. Or put some shoes to pavement.


this
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:38:57 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 0612Devil:
lol, shoulda kneecapped him...



plus one
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:40:04 AM EDT
Originally Posted By PossumKing:



Set something on fire????




But not the gym. You wouldn't have anywhere to work out tomorrow.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:40:52 AM EDT
That is total bullshit. They know me by name at my gym as well, and I would be SHOCKED if they didn't allow me to work out because I forgot my card.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:41:37 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/26/2009 8:41:42 AM EDT by TearsInRain]
I do all my workouts at home..

Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:43:47 AM EDT
shoot something....or multiple somethings.



then come mow my lawn.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:44:17 AM EDT
go back

Maybe even cause an uproar! haha
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:48:29 AM EDT
dont they have your membership records on file/cpu?
smart thing would have been ......

" Oh yes,,hold a second mr.evil... yep here you are..do you need a new card? No..alright have a great work out...oh by the way......we have the new hammer strength labia press set up near the legs section......."


if they refused to even look i would have made it known loudy..... that i would be looking else where and muscle head can go shove a g2 bottle up his ass side ways while the counter bitch pulls 40 lb bells outta her axe wound!
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:48:41 AM EDT
Don't do anything rash today.

Tomorrow morning, with that evil-atf look in your eye, camly tell them you posted an AAR on ARFCOM.

That should do the trick.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:51:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/26/2009 8:51:54 AM EDT by TrojanMan]
Take a cue from the cat and spend the morning trying to lick your own anus.


At the least, you should be able to spitty-slurp it.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:53:03 AM EDT
Time for a new gym. I wouldn't have a membership at a place run by fucking morons like that.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:53:49 AM EDT
Go back
Kill everything
No one gets out alive
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:55:50 AM EDT
Go rub one out in the lobby.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 8:58:34 AM EDT
Run to the nearest river and go for a swim! Don't let the man keep you down.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:00:59 AM EDT
so what happen if you lost your membership card? They will never let you in again?
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:02:27 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 338winmag:
If they did this to me, I would be spending the morning checking out other gyms. Tell them why you are ckecking out other gyms.


Yup.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:04:17 AM EDT
shoot the dog ........................... you did have that class already

Then set the gym on fire and tell us how you did it to protect them from unpaid taxes of $200
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:06:25 AM EDT
Originally Posted By usp4u:
Go to Wal-Mart for ammo.



this
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:06:37 AM EDT
Originally Posted By RikWriter:
Time for a new gym. I wouldn't have a membership at a place run by fucking morons like that.


This. How fucking stupid.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:08:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 338winmag:
If they did this to me, I would be spending the morning checking out other gyms. Tell them why you are ckecking out other gyms.


Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:08:40 AM EDT
smack her in the face with a golf shoe and douse steroid boy with gas and ignite... then pee on them... then have gay porn sent to their house...
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:09:08 AM EDT
DOUBLE TIME!!!

Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:10:42 AM EDT
Originally Posted By CanteTinza:
Dude you're obsessed with raping something to death, which is cool and all, but hearing you talk about it all the time gets a little old.


I'll drum up some new material for you. I believe you're correct, as talking about it just doesn't sem to get me hard any more.

With replying to everyone individually...

1. I could go back to the gym later today without wasting a trip. I still need to pick up my spawn from school later on. I could always bring a change of clothes and shower at the gym. Normally this is something I avoid, as there is always a 300 pound homeless-looking fuck who insists on actually grooming at the gym. When there is the chance that I'll see a nude obese man shaving his face with one leg up on the counter, I try to avoid the gym locker room and shower at home.

2. I could just run my 3 miles through the neighborhood. The pavement plays 'Devil Went Down To Georgia' on my knees, but it's definitely an option.

3. I could surf Arfcom all day and work out tomorrow on my Rest Day.

4. I could go take a nap.

5. I could play Call Of Duty.

6. I could read a book.

7. I could strip naked, cover my body in camo paint and brave the 40 degree Pacific Northwest drizzle armed with a pair of Steiners, the Trailmaster and a Polaroid camera. There are some attrative housefrau in my AO who desperately need to be stalked.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:21:12 AM EDT
Well option 7 obviously.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:25:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/26/2009 9:25:37 AM EDT by DK-Prof]
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:28:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/26/2009 9:31:05 AM EDT by John_Wayne777]
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:34:40 AM EDT
When you do end up back at the gym, ask the desk weenie for their identification, you know, proof they work there, before you show them your id.

"Sorry, its policy"...

Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:39:03 AM EDT
Push the vehicle around the gym parking lot Great cardio work and not as much impact on the knees....


....and then plow that bastard through the front door of the gym.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:40:24 AM EDT
Sounds like their version of the "zero tolerance" crap that has become so ingrained into the public school system.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:40:56 AM EDT
I forget mine all the time, but no one cares. I'd be pissed.
Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:42:03 AM EDT
Originally Posted By CanteTinza:
Dude you're obsessed with raping something to death, which is cool and all, but hearing you talk about it all the time gets a little old.


I think he's a Reaver in disguise.

Link Posted: 3/26/2009 9:42:12 AM EDT
See if you can cancel your membership without the ID cards.
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 4:34:16 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/27/2009 4:37:28 AM EDT by Ryerle51]
Is this the LA fitness off of 78th in Vancouver by chance?
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 4:39:38 AM EDT
Originally Posted By FunBobby:
Go back
Kill everything
No one gets out alive


Gets my vote, but take Wilson for the entertainment value.
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 4:39:50 AM EDT
Gym,25 miles from home ?
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 4:46:03 AM EDT
Such is life. Policies are policies for these businesses. Where I'm at right now they wouldn't let me go to work because the plant employee put his lock for LOTO one spot down on the lockbox from its normal position. We had 50 people standing around waiting for managerial authorization to allow us to work because some dip head put his lock one spot over and it was doing the same thing in its current position.

That move cost these folks some money but everyone is so job scared that they won't budge from even ridiculous policies.

Link Posted: 3/27/2009 4:58:21 AM EDT
more zero tolerance bullshit. go back in and push the matter or go to the local taco joint and get 3 bacon egg and cheese breakfast tacos add a lot of hot sauce and when that wells up inside go back and have a blow out in their public restroom then cancel your membership
Link Posted: 3/27/2009 5:01:40 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/27/2009 5:02:35 AM EDT by JoePatriot]
Originally Posted By Evil_ATF:
This morning I woke up, got dressed in my gym clothes (today it was an old pair of USAF BMT PT shorts and a sleeveless Larue tee), got the kids ready for school grabbed the Bauer bag and hopped into the Jeep.

After dropping my spawn off at school, I drove to the gym, relishing the forthcoming swim, run (cardio day) and copious amounts of glorious female pooper that populates my little corner of the world.

I walk up to the front desk, the girl behind the counter says "Good morning, ****. How are you?". I smile, answer her by name and start reaching for my wallet in the Bauer Bag...

...only to find that I'd left my wallet in the pair of jeans I was wearing the day before, which were convieniently slung over the end of me bed 25 miles due west of the gym.

I smile, laugh and (calling her by name) tell her that I forgot my wallet, which contains my membership card.

Her demeanor changes, the smile disappears and she tells me that I can't get in without my ID card...even after she greeted me by name.

I half smile, unsure if she is fucking with me and point this fact out to her. She calls the manager over.

Manager, who is about 400 pounds of muscle, steroid and Nike apparel repeats to me that a membership ID card is required to gain entrance.

It crossed my mind to reach into the Magical Murder Bag, kneecap him with Jerry Senior, cut off his face with the SRK and then rape him to death.

Unfortunately...hang on.

(Evil spies Mrs. Evil's cat, Ninja, grooming it's anus while it lays on Evil's TAD Gear Ranger Hoodie. Evil snatches Ninja by the neck, tosses it onto the front porch and gives it the finger.)

Anyhow, unfortunately I had neither the desire nor the inclination to assert my dominance in his butthole...this time.

So, I bladed at 45 degrees, released my cock 'n balls, gave them both the 'helicopter' and returned to Battle Wagon 3.0.

Now I sit here...unfulfilled...restless...bored...strangely aroused...

What do I do with my morning, Arfcom?


Any new info on the ninja feline in the house? We need update briefs for our QRF so we can react accordingly if Wilson and yourself are overrun.
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