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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/11/2005 7:32:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 7:34:46 PM EDT by Searcherfortruth]
I had my ex served with a restraining order last Friday night when she came to take my son for the weekend. It stated my concerns for his safety & asked for visitation in my county only, until my concerns are addressed.

We had court today for the order, & she showed up with her mom, & Internet Romeo in tow. I had my son & mother with me, & I ignored them the whole time. The ex made a point of playing suck face with the loser she is with. I figured it was for show to try & anger me, but the truth is it made me laugh.
Her team had to travel about 120 miles each way, for court. The part that had me laughing all the way home, is the fact that the judge forgot our hearing & was a no show. Even tho it's now going to cost "me" for an extension because he didn't show, she had to go home & wait for the rescheduling. & make another trip. Hehehe!

I stopped on the way home & bought a Romeo & Juliet & smoked it as a pseudo victory celebration over her having used her day & miles for nothing. Maybe a little small of me, but I don't give a dang.

Oh by the way I had gone to my lawyer several months ago & told her my concerns, & her advice was to not let the ex take the son without someone to represent my interest in making sure he came home, & didn't just disappear. The lawyer also told me even tho I was violating the court order, chances were very slim I would be in trouble with a judge given the circumstances. She said we could do the restraining order if the ex started to be a problem & she advised we let it lay & see where it went.

Two Fridays ago I got a call from a local detective telling me I was committing a felony, & he was doing an investigation. He was a total ass, very rude, & spoke like he was my judge jury & executioner. I had a meeting the next day, Saturday to write up the petition for the restraining order. It was in court on Monday, & he called back to grill me all over again on Thursday, & I explained my reasons all over again, & told him about the restraining order to be served the next day, & he said he was going to present the case to the DA to see if I would be prosecuted for a felony. I asked my lawyer yesterday what she had found out, & she said he had decided to drop it based on what she had explained to the JBT.


Link Posted: 8/11/2005 7:33:28 PM EDT
Divorce is bliss
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 7:35:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By roboman:
Divorce is bliss



Dang straight!
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 7:36:01 PM EDT
good move, getting the restraining order before she did, because she would have and then you would have been tainted by it util the day you die.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 7:42:44 PM EDT
Sometimes small victories are all you have. Better than a loss for sure.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 7:55:30 PM EDT
Remind me what the "safety concerns" were?

Goodonya for serving her first!

Mine showed up in court with her loverboy. Tacky, to say the least.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 8:03:20 PM EDT
Why are divorces so danged expensive? Because they are worth it!!!!

Given that, if I had just off'd mine way back then, I'd be out of prison by now. Almost brings a tear to my eye.

Good going.

BTW, unless your state law is way different, with-holding visitation is not a felony - nowhere close. If it were, I'd be pushing for my ex to be in jail for keeping my daughter from me for 20 years now. It's just so funny how dishonest some cops can be. And some people wonder why we distrust most cops....
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 8:04:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Searcherfortruth:

Originally Posted By roboman:
Divorce is bliss



Dang straight!



Amen to that
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 8:21:09 PM EDT
I wouldn't waste my time talking to or listening to the investigator. Give him your attorneys name and number. That's what you pay them for.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 8:30:54 PM EDT
When I read stories like this, It makes me glad my divorce went so well for me.



Vulcan94
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 8:34:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Searcherfortruth:
....
Her team had to travel about 120 miles each way, for court. The part that had me laughing all the way home, is the fact that the judge forgot our hearing & was a no show. Even tho it's now going to cost "me" for an extension because he didn't show, she had to go home & wait for the rescheduling. & make another trip...
Two Fridays ago I got a call from a local detective telling me I was committing a felony, & he was doing an investigation. He was a total ass, very rude....





Sweet little victory... you know you win some and lose some and why are you even answering your phone, talking to a local detective? If I were you, I'd screen all my calls and only answer it if it's mom/pops/immediate relatives.

Link Posted: 8/11/2005 8:48:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rebel_Marine:
Sometimes small victories are all you have. Better than a loss for sure.

Link Posted: 8/11/2005 8:50:51 PM EDT
The perfect time to DrawDown and you blew it!!! Think about it. No consequences.

CW
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 8:54:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Roadhawk:
I wouldn't waste my time talking to or listening to the investigator. Give him your attorneys name and number. That's what you pay them for.



+1
Link Posted: 8/12/2005 4:20:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Goet:
Remind me what the "safety concerns" were?
Goodonya for serving her first!
Mine showed up in court with her loverboy. Tacky, to say the least.




She won't allow me to do a background check on her computer Romeo, & this greatly concerns me, I just want to make sure my son is safe as possible when he's around him. She insists it's none of my business, but my lawyer, & the judge who signed the order apparently don't agree. Me either.

Her mother moved here from WI, she got divorced a month after us. She is living with my ex, & her boyfriend. My ex has always told me she is a physically, verbally & mentally abusive person. In fact she has never been allowed to be alone with our son his whole life at my ex's insistence. But she all good now according to my ex.

I offerd to let my ex to visit the boy after court at my parents home, but she wouldn't. I had already asked my son if he was interested in spending some time with her afterward, & he said no, he didn't want to. I asked him why & he wouldn't say, so I asked if it was because the man she was so busy kissing had him bothered. He said yes.
Link Posted: 8/12/2005 4:24:25 AM EDT
I will continue to pray for you, Searcher.
Link Posted: 8/12/2005 4:26:11 AM EDT
Thanks Old Painless. I truly appreciate you.
Link Posted: 8/12/2005 4:34:26 AM EDT
IIRC, SFT's ex disappeared with the kid, leaving absolutely no contact information. He found them through divine intervention and was able to grab the kid.

I canot imagine what felony the "detective" would try to charge, since in most places, there can be no interference with custody until there's a custody order in place - and I have never heard of a statute criminalizing a parent's interference with visitation.

Prayer sent.
Link Posted: 8/12/2005 4:37:13 AM EDT
Your best move was to have a good lawyer. They ain't cheap but it's money well spent. Been there, done that, I have full custody of my kids and kept my house, my truck, HD and pension. Just never use your son as a pawn and don't bad mouth your ex to him no matter what you think of her, he'll find out on his own soon enough. Good luck to you!
Link Posted: 8/12/2005 6:59:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By JLB:
Your best move was to have a good lawyer. They ain't cheap but it's money well spent. Been there, done that, I have full custody of my kids and kept my house, my truck, HD and pension. Just never use your son as a pawn and don't bad mouth your ex to him no matter what you think of her, he'll find out on his own soon enough. Good luck to you!



I don't talk bad about her to him, but I helped him understand by telling him her brain isn't working right, & she is making lots of bad choices, & he seemed to understand.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 1:56:41 PM EDT
tag
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 2:53:55 PM EDT
Thoughts & prayers for you and your son, Searcher.
Link Posted: 8/13/2005 5:12:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Searcherfortruth:

Originally Posted By JLB:
Your best move was to have a good lawyer. They ain't cheap but it's money well spent. Been there, done that, I have full custody of my kids and kept my house, my truck, HD and pension. Just never use your son as a pawn and don't bad mouth your ex to him no matter what you think of her, he'll find out on his own soon enough. Good luck to you!



I don't talk bad about her to him, but I helped him understand by telling him her brain isn't working right, & she is making lots of bad choices, & he seemed to understand.



IIRC (and if the situation follows the pattern I've seen) he's probably seeing lots of things that cause him to ask questions you pretty much have to answer. The trick is just to end every answer (which is of course as uncritical as honesty will allow) with "but Mommy loves you very much."

I am sure it's a real challenge. God bless you for shouldering the burden of doing right by your son.
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