Make mine GUINNESS....



it's a poor subsitute for a slow pint, but the only close bar that has the slow tap is just now doing last call.  Sometimes you just gotta make do with what's at hand.  

Mmmmmmmmmm...that looks good!
Pour one for me. I'm on my way

I got a few of them in the fridge, but its at home and Im here.

Aaaahhhh, the mothers milk of beer!!  slainte' as well to you!

I'm envious of you Fenian...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmGuiness....................................

Slainte wah.

Nice pint.  We get a lot of that up here.

Marty

Quoted: Nice pint.  We get a lot of that up here. Marty

that's 'cos NY is full of MICKS

Fenian wrote:

that's 'cos NY is full of MICKS

You are right about that!  I grew up in The Bronx.  We had many bars in the neighborhood.  I didn't start drinking the black stuff until my twenties.  Suprisingly, only 5 grams of carbs per 12 ounces!  

Marty

Here's a good Guiness joke I heard once...


An Englishman, a Scottsman and an Irishman go to the pub for a nice frothy pint of Guiness.   The bar wench brings them their pints, and as they salivate over the frothy mugs of brown goodness, a fly lands in the foam of each of their pints!  

The Englishman pushes his pint away "I won't drink that!"

The Scottsman plucks the fly out of the head and tosses it aside and begins to enjoy his pint.

The Irishman plucks the fly out and says

"SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!!"

Slainte in other languages.

www.awa.dk/glosary/slainte.htm  Alternative Whiskey Academy...

actually, I was gonna put the whole toast in the thread title, but I figured it would scare the faint of heart.

"Slainte chuig na fir, agus go mairfidh na mna go deo."

Health to the men, and may the women live forever.  

Tannerite.

Some Guinness was spilled on the bar room floor as the pub was closed for the night.
Out from his hole crept a wee brown mouse and stood in the pale moonlight.
He lapped up the frothy brew from the floor and back on his haunches he sat.
And all night long you could hear him roar,
"Bring on the Goddamn cat!!"

A bloke goes into a pub. The barmaid asks what he wants.

"I want to put my head between your tits, and lick the sweat off." he replies.

"You dirty bastard!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband."

The bloke apologizes and says he will never do it again. The barmaid, disgusted, accepts his apology and asks what he wants again.

"I want to pull down your panties, spread cottage cheese between your ass cheeks and lick it off." he replies.

"What???" screams the barmaid, "That's it, you're barred, you dirty, filthy, perverted bastard, GET OUT NOW!"

Once again the bloke apologizes, and says he will never, ever do it again.

"Right. I'll give you one last chance," says the barmaid, "now, what do you want?"

"I want to turn you upside down, fill your pussy with Guinness and drink it all out of you."

The barmaid screams, starts crying and runs upstairs to her husband, who is sitting down watching the tv.

"What's up, love?" says the husband.

"There's this disgusting guy downstairs! When I asked him what he wanted, he said that he wanted too put his head between my tits and lick the sweat off," she says in a flood of tears.

"What?! He's a dead man!" shouts the husband getting out of his chair.

"Then he said he wanted to pull down my panties, spread cottage cheese between my ass cheeks and lick it off!" screams the wife.

"Right, he's going to need a body bag, the bastard!" shouts the husband rolling up his sleeves and picking up a baseball bat.

"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my pussy with Guinness and drink it out of me" she concludes.

When he hears this, the husband puts the baseball bat down and sits back down in his chair.

"Aren't you going to do something?!!" shouts the wife in hysterics.

"Listen baby, I'm not fucking with someone who can drink 14 pints of Guinness..."

Our time will come.

Quoted: Our time will come.

bas no an bua, a chara.  

www.28thmass.com/Songs/nationonceagain.mid



And some dirty Gaelic to impress and amuse your friends...

Cíoch = Tit
Póg mo thóin = Kiss my ass
Focal leat = Fuck off (lit. word with you)
Dún do bheal = Shut your mouth
Imigh sa diabhal = Go to the devil
Cailleach = Old hag, witch
Is dócha nach bhfuil seans ar bith ann? = I suppose a ride is out of the question?
Go dtachta an diabhal thú = May the devil choke you
Feisigh do thoin fein = Fuck your own ass
Striapach = Whore
Bitseach = Bitch
Feis ort = Fuck off
Focáil leat = Fuck off
Cac = Shit
Cac capaill = Horse shit
Titim gan éirí ort = May you fall without rising
Plá ar do theach A plague on your house
Go n-ithe na péisteoga thú =May the worms eat you
Téigh trasna ort féin =Go fuck yourself
Dúil mo Slat =Suck my dick
Éist do bhéil = Shut up! (lit. listen to your mouth)
Bog! = Fuck off! (lit. move)
Damnú air! = Shit/Damn it!
Bod = Dick
Ní mórán thú! = You're worthless!
báltaí = Pussy
Táim ag teacht = I'm coming
Go n-ithe an cat thú, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat = May the cat eat you, and may the devil eat the cat
Go lagaí galar tógálach do chroí = May an infectious disease weaken your heart
Go mbeadh cosa gloine fút agus go mbrise an ghloine = May you have glass legs and may the glass break

Quoted: And some dirty Gaelic to impress and amuse your friends... Cíoch = Tit Póg mo thóin = Kiss my ass Focal leat = Fuck off (lit. word with you) Dún do bheal = Shut your mouth Imigh sa diabhal = Go to the devil Cailleach = Old hag, witch Is dócha nach bhfuil seans ar bith ann? = I suppose a ride is out of the question? Go dtachta an diabhal thú = May the devil choke you Feisigh do thoin fein = Fuck your own ass Striapach = Whore Bitseach = Bitch Feis ort = Fuck off Focáil leat = Fuck off Cac = Shit Cac capaill = Horse shit Titim gan éirí ort = May you fall without rising Plá ar do theach A plague on your house Go n-ithe na péisteoga thú =May the worms eat you Téigh trasna ort féin =Go fuck yourself Dúil mo Slat =Suck my dick Éist do bhéil = Shut up! (lit. listen to your mouth) Bog! = Fuck off! (lit. move) Damnú air! = Shit/Damn it! Bod = Dick Ní mórán thú! = You're worthless! báltaí = Pussy Táim ag teacht = I'm coming Go n-ithe an cat thú, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat = May the cat eat you, and may the devil eat the cat Go lagaí galar tógálach do chroí = May an infectious disease weaken your heart Go mbeadh cosa gloine fút agus go mbrise an ghloine = May you have glass legs and may the glass break

I'm not impressed if somebody knows that stuff.

I AM impressed if they can pronounce it right.

<-slowly and painfully learning Gaelic.

Quoted: I'm not impressed if somebody knows that stuff. I AM impressed if they can pronounce it right. <-slowly and painfully learning Gaelic.

not to burst your bubble on learning some Irish, but if you can find TWO people who actually AGREE on how to pronounce anything, I'll pug YOUR hone lol.  At least that's been my experience.  Damn Irish speakers correct me WAY more than the French did when I tried speaking french to them.    

Quoted: not to burst your bubble on learning some Irish, but if you can find TWO people who actually AGREE on how to pronounce anything, I'll pug YOUR hone lol.  At least that's been my experience.  Damn Irish speakers correct me WAY more than the French did when I tried speaking french to them.

My lesson tapes don't even agree.

Teaching me to speak it with a Ulster accent too, but it was the best set of lessons around.

Quoted: Our time will come.

Now it's getting interesting...

Quoted: Quoted: not to burst your bubble on learning some Irish, but if you can find TWO people who actually AGREE on how to pronounce anything, I'll pug YOUR hone lol.  At least that's been my experience.  Damn Irish speakers correct me WAY more than the French did when I tried speaking french to them.     My lesson tapes don't even agree. Teaching me to speak it with a Ulster accent too, but it was the best set of lessons around.

Cripes. I have trouble with English spoken with an Uster accent.

Quoted: Quoted: Our time will come. Now it's getting interesting...

"I had four green fields, each one was a jewel..."

Quoted: "I had four green fields, each one was a jewel..."

but strangers came, and tried to take them from me....

(hey..I'm doing it from memory lol).  

So Saint Patrick walks into a pub and orders a pint.  A fat black cat sits on the bar.  The barman pours the pint but doesn't paddle off the foam and hands the under-poured pint to St. Patrick.  St. Patrick throws the pint against the ceiling and tells the barman, "you see that fat cat?  He's the Devil and he's grown fat on you stealing porter.  I will be back a year from now to get a proper pint."

A year later St. Patrick returns and is poured a proper pint.  The cat is still there but sickly, skinny and near death.

GunLvr