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Posted: 6/15/2009 9:19:05 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/15/2009 10:48:04 AM EST by Thatdude333]
I was thinking of taking my flying squirrel with me for a week long vacation, but the airlines charge $100+ each way to bring a pet on board.

I understand charging for larger animals like a dog because they take up space, but my squirrel is like no bigger than a twinky.

You can put him in a crown royal bag and he'll curl up and go to sleep.during the day.

Should I try and smuggle him aboard in a pocket?



Picture of said twinky sized squrrel...




ETA: during the daytime, up until 8pm or so, he's pretty lazy and will hang out & sleep in his pouch or a pocket. They're naturally noctural.

I've taken him to stores and such in my shirt pocket, he just sleeps or hangs out and looks out... though if he's in the car for too long he'll eventually climb out and have a look around, but even then he'll stay on me.

Its not until after about 8pm or so when he starts waking up and wants to jump around and off everything
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:19:44 AM EST

Yes
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:20:15 AM EST
I would not risk my pet with the idiots at TSA.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:22:43 AM EST
Cute lil' bugger................smuggle him on
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:22:58 AM EST
Wow that is a pretty tiny squirrel. Does it fly in the house?
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:24:31 AM EST
Cute pet, tell us about him.
Should you take him on a plane, sure be certain to post you flight info here before you go so that if your plane suddenly disappears from radar we will know what happened. Something along the lines of the squirrel got lost in the cockpit and attacked the Capt. and co-pilot.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:24:46 AM EST
The Mississippi squirrel revival part II
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:24:53 AM EST
Should I smuggle my flying squirrel onto an airplane?


Any idea involving those two words in the same sentence could lead to trouble, or at least an 'epic thread'.


Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:26:05 AM EST
Originally Posted By Harvster:
The Mississippi squirrel revival part II


LOL
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:26:47 AM EST
Definitely!, Killer Idea
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:26:53 AM EST
WWBD?

Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:27:39 AM EST
Put him in a magnum condom
Stick him up your butt
????
Profit
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:28:37 AM EST
Haha! That's awesome.

As long as you keep him on your person I don't see it as a problem. I wouldn't put him in any bag. He would most certainly be killed. There is a more legal way around this problem. If you have a doctor friend, he can certify that this pet is your comfort animal. Comfort animals are allowed on board to keep passengers calm while flying. They also fly free. Just a thought.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:29:10 AM EST
Originally Posted By kaziganthi:
Put him in a magnum condom
Stick him up your butt
????
Profit


Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:29:19 AM EST
We sneak our 5.5lb Yorkie onto planes all the time, but we do have to carry him through the security checkpoint. That said, I don't know if a flying squirrel (or any other non-domesticated small pet other than a cat or dog) will be able to simply 'pass' through security. If however you can keep him in your pocket or inside your shirt and go through without detection, then you'll have no problem getting it on the plane. However, if you're going through the metal detector and the TSA person sees a suspicious 'lump' in your clothing (pun completely intended), you might have a problem.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:29:40 AM EST
Can't you just carry it on? Two weeks ago I sat in the row behind a woman that had a small dog that yapped for most of the six hour flight. She kept him in a small carrier that looked like a purse but had mesh on one end.z

Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:29:43 AM EST
First, get a BIG pair of dark black sun glasses, a long stick, a squirrel sized harness, and a leash...
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:30:06 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/15/2009 9:32:20 AM EST by vermont2nd]
Sure, what could go wrong?

ETA: On second thought; he can fly right? Just have him meet you at your destination.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:30:36 AM EST
Originally Posted By kaziganthi:
Put him in a magnum condom
Stick him up your butt
????
Profit


Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:30:37 AM EST
As long as it's not on fire.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:33:39 AM EST
Originally Posted By niceguymr:
We sneak our 5.5lb Yorkie onto planes all the time, but we do have to carry him through the security checkpoint. That said, I don't know if a flying squirrel (or any other non-domesticated small pet other than a cat or dog) will be able to simply 'pass' through security. If however you can keep him in your pocket or inside your shirt and go through without detection, then you'll have no problem getting it on the plane. However, if you're going through the metal detector and the TSA person sees a suspicious 'lump' in your clothing (pun completely intended), you might have a problem.


Yeah, I was curious if I could put him in my carry-on when I check in at the airline counter, then just remove him for the TSA screening and show him to the TSA people, since I'm guessing the TSA people don't care or know if you paid the airline or not?
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:33:41 AM EST
Found this online. Maybe it would work for a squirrel. What would happen if you were cought.





How to smuggle a snake squirrel onto an airplane

(idea) by bitter_engineer Sat Apr 15 2000 at 5:16:24

When I was in college in California, I had a pet Ball Python that was a little shorter than my arm. I wanted to take him back with me to Wisconsin for the Summer Break, so I read up on the official requirements from the airline.

It wasn't pretty. I needed to put him in a cloth bag, then put the bag inside a cardboard box, then put the box inside a wooden box. I also needed a signed document from a veterinarian that he didn't have any diseases. And oh yeah, there was also that $150 "Because we have to take your icky animal on the plane" charge. I still wanted to be an upstanding citizen, so I made an appointment with the local veterinarian.

She advised me to smuggle him. She made a few good points: Snakes are very laid back, they don't bite unless provoked, and they don't make the mess or noise of dogs and cats, which are regularly carried on planes without as much fuss.

So I did smuggle him, very successfully, four times.

Here's what you'll need to do it yourself:

One snake. It shouldn't be much longer than your arm, or weigh more than 1.5 kilos.
One old sweater or sweatshirt that you don't like.
One baggy sweater or sweatshirt that you do like.
A few strings of plastic beads, like you might find at Mardi Gras.
Scissors
Using the scissors, cut off one sleeve of the old sweater, so that you have a long tube made of cloth.
Using the beads, tie off both ends of the sweater. I tried using string for this step, but it really didn't hold as well.
Strip down to a t-shirt.
Add more beads to your cloth tube in two loops, then put your arms through the loops.
Adjust the bead strings so that your cloth tube is hanging alongside your belly button.
Remove the tube from your body and loosen one end.
Patiently insert the snake into the tube. If you try to force him, he'll resist, so just kind of ease him in, and he'll go on his own. Snakes like to crawl into holes.
Tie off the tube with your beads again, and put it back on your body.
Put the baggy sweater on top. Make sure it bags out mostly in the front.
Now you're ready to go to the airport. Some tips on getting through security:

The idea here is that you want to get past security as fast as possible while attracting minimal attention. Remember this.
Wear no jewelry or metal items. This is why we tied the sweater with plastic beads. If you have a watch, take it off and put it in your carry-on bag. Make sure your shoes don't have any metal studs. You want to go through the detector in one pass. You DON'T want to be stopped and swept with the hand gadget. It won't pick up the snake, but if he decides to squirm as you're getting scanned, they'll likely notice.
Dress conservatively. You don't want to wear anything that will attract too much attention to yourself. If you wear a sweater with a somewhat random pattern, that will help break up the image of a suspicious bulge in front of you.
Above all, act normal. You aren't smuggling drugs or explosives, so you have nothing to fear from dogs. Act like this is the 20th time you've been through the checkpoint, and you just want to get to the gate.
Once you're past security, it's smooth sailing. My snake was very calm through the whole trip, and only really acted up when we were on the plane in the air. I covered him calmly with my hand, and slowly stroked him through the sweater, which calmed him down.

Finally, when you get to your destination, the best way to let your snake out is to untie the tube and place it in his new home, and let him crawl out himself. After one expedition, I put my snake into a cage that smelled like its previous snake, and the combination of the unfamiliar smell and the seven hours of being cooped up caused him to strike at my hand. It wasn't anything serious, fortunately, since Pythons don't have sharp teeth, but it was surprising.

Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:34:44 AM EST
no, don't do it.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:35:22 AM EST
Originally Posted By Daytona955i:
First, get a BIG pair of dark black sun glasses, a long stick, a squirrel sized harness, and a leash...


Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:36:17 AM EST
Originally Posted By zoom:
Can't you just carry it on? Two weeks ago I sat in the row behind a woman that had a small dog that yapped for most of the six hour flight. She kept him in a small carrier that looked like a purse but had mesh on one end.z



Yeah, you can bring an animal aboard but the airlines charge $100+ each way to bring a pet aboard.

Since my flying squirrel is perfectly happy hanging out in a pocket, I'm curious if I could get around that $100 fee by keeping him on the down-low.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:39:03 AM EST
Get a cup/jock strap and put him in it. If anyone gives you trouble just say, what you never seen a guy with a big package before, running around with your micro penis, have to give guys with big packages shit.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:39:16 AM EST
squirrel nut tuck
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:39:22 AM EST
Originally Posted By kaziganthi:
Put him in a magnum condom
Stick him up your butt
????
Profit


Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:41:36 AM EST
Originally Posted By arowneragain:
Should I smuggle my flying squirrel onto an airplane?


Any idea involving those two words in the same sentence could lead to trouble, or at least an 'epic thread'.




With that in mind, I vote to smuggle.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:44:42 AM EST
Do the tickets say whether or not you are authorized to have a pet? If not, then just do it. Hell, I would do it anyway. If you are flying on an airbus, be sure to throw him out of the hole when the tail section separates. Give the little guy a fighting chance.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:47:22 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/15/2009 9:56:08 AM EST by SouthHoof]
Oh of course you can. What possible harm could come of it?
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:47:43 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/15/2009 9:52:48 AM EST by tommytrauma]
Sounds like a joke, but it isnt;
Ask your doctor for a letter describing 'flight anxiety', and identifying your pet as a 'necessary companion animal' in the treatment of said condition.

Edit - beat to it.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:48:42 AM EST
Considering your past posts on Obama...

Yes. Definitely. Do it.

Dust him with cocaine so he doesn't set off any sensors.

Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:49:54 AM EST
If it's a REAL flying squirrel, WTF are you taking it on a plane for?
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:52:13 AM EST
Originally Posted By Junction:
Haha! That's awesome.

As long as you keep him on your person I don't see it as a problem. I wouldn't put him in any bag. He would most certainly be killed. There is a more legal way around this problem. If you have a doctor friend, he can certify that this pet is your comfort animal. Comfort animals are allowed on board to keep passengers calm while flying. They also fly free. Just a thought.


I wonder if I could get a doc to say my wife was my "comfort animal"? It sure would make vacations a lot cheaper!
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:52:48 AM EST
Sure, go ahead. you'll be denied boarding if/when they find him, and won't get your money back on your ticket.

I'd plan on PLENTY of time to bring him back home, arrange for a pet sitter, and then get back to the airport for your flight when they deny you boarding.

Squirrels are NOT accepted in the cabin, even in an accepted carry on container. They must go as checked luggage.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:53:44 AM EST
A flight out of New York made an emergency landing today after a wild squirrel was released by a would-be terrorist.

Fortunately for passengers, the airplane's Federal Air Marshal sprang into action.

According to witnesses, the Air Marshal fired his service pistol repeatedly at the terror squirrel, finally managing to hit a window, sucking the vicious varmint out of the plane and into an engine.

There are conflicting initial reports, but some eye witnesses are also stating that the mad-man who released the deadly creature was shouting "Disengage" repeatedly at the Air Marshal, and bladed in an aggressive stance during the ordeal.

The would-be terrorist was then subdued by the Air Marshal by having his head slammed into the peanut-bag drawer –– a maneuver referred to by Air Marshals as "goosing".

Follow-up investigation has identified that in the course of his duty, the Air Marshal also managed to kill seventeen violent and rabid caged dogs in the cargo area of the plane.

Police report that, along with the venomous squirrel, the terrorist's carry-on luggage contained other unauthorized materials such as a Coca-Cola, fire, Ayn Rand's book "Atlas Shrugged" and a key tag with the letters 'FBO' on them.

Police aren't revealing much beyond this, but it is believed that 'FBO' is a new and rising right-wing extremist militant group which recruits from various online forums.

_MaH
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:53:59 AM EST
How many ounces of fluid does a squirrel that size contain. cause there's a limit you know.

Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:55:35 AM EST
Epic lulz if the squirrel has hantavirus and the OP is sent to Club Gitmo for bioterrorism on a plane.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:56:22 AM EST
I would love to see the XRay pictures of this one.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 9:57:04 AM EST

Originally Posted By James23:

Yes

agreed...and please bring a video camera as well.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:00:19 AM EST
Here's the real question: If you let the squirrel out inside the plane and it flies off, is he flying at the speed of the plane + plus his velocity, or just his velocity?


Bonus question: The same as above but with a treadmill....
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:04:33 AM EST
Originally Posted By Daytona955i:
First, get a BIG pair of dark black sun glasses, a long stick, a squirrel sized harness, and a leash...


^ this....start a whole new series of seeing-eye cat stories using a flying squirell
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:10:35 AM EST
Just put him in a zip'loc bag in your pocket.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:11:16 AM EST
my cousin flew with her bearded dragon. checked him in her bad went through x ray and everything. he was about 20 in at the time.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:11:54 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/15/2009 10:13:19 AM EST by Shooter42]
squirrel master is that you??? I really want to thank you for making me your bitch and saving me from Nasty Nate!!!!
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:26:40 AM EST
Originally Posted By Thatdude333:
I was thinking of taking my flying squirrel with me for a week long vacation, but the airlines charge $100+ each way to bring a pet on board.

I understand charging for larger animals like a dog because they take up space, but my squirrel is like no bigger than a twinky.

You can put him in a crown royal bag and he'll curl up and go to sleep.during the day.

Should I try and smuggle him aboard in a pocket?



Picture of said twinky sized squrrel...

http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/2567/db4hl6.jpg


Yes. You should definitely smuggle a squirrel aboard an airplane in your pants. It's extremely unlikely that something like this would happen, but it might be useful to take some video of your trip anyway.

Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:27:09 AM EST
FUCKING IN on one.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:32:15 AM EST
Having a little experience with this I will make this recommendation:

- Have a backup plan and leave time for the complications that will ensue if your little friend is discovered. Otherwise you will miss you flight.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:34:07 AM EST
You definitely should do this, sounds like fun!
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 10:44:31 AM EST
Originally Posted By hcook:

Yes. You should definitely smuggle a squirrel aboard an airplane in your pants. It's extremely unlikely that something like this would happen, but it might be useful to take some video of your trip anyway.



Naw, during the daytime, up until 8pm or so, he's pretty lazy and will hang out & sleep in his pouch or a pocket. They're naturally noctural.

I've taken him to stores and such in my shirt pocket, he just sleeps or hangs out and looks out... though if he's in the car for too long he'll eventually climb out and have a look around, but even then he'll stay on me.
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