Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/1/2005 8:33:41 PM EDT
Something that happened in the grocery store parking lot the other day got me thinking about this. I saw a woman get approached by a panhandler who presumably asked her up for money. I noticed the woman not only avoided eye contact while she mumbled "no i cant" or some other timid response, but she actually shifted her gaze away from the disgusting bum and towards the ground. That response really set her up for a fall if the bum had been sizing her up for any type of assualt.


When approached by those type of people the best response is make eye contact accompanied by a firm "No."

Making eye contact makes you less likely to be a target as it does not send a weak signal and lets the bum know you saw him and could identify him.


Same thing when somebody asks you for the time. Dont look down at your watch. Look the person in the eye then bring your wrist into your field of veiw. Puts you in a much better position if the "hey what time is it?" is a precurser to an ambush.

It's a simple little thing, but its clear a lot of women have never even thought about it.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 10:52:08 PM EDT
Most women hate conflict with someone they don't know.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:24:53 PM EDT

Even better:

Bum: Hey Yo! Got a dollar?

You: (eye contact) Yes I got a few. (maintain eye contact while walking away)

Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:33:14 PM EDT
"Get a job"


done.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 12:41:27 AM EDT
Good point. It doesn't apply to just women either. I'm male, and when I tell friends about things like this, they just look at me like, you think about this stuff? I've been trying to tell this to a lot of people, and none of them listen to me. My Dad once told me, "I don't know what's wrong with you. I don't know how I could leave the house concerned about things like that."
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 9:54:40 AM EDT
Bums usually dont just ask for a dollar anymore. You usually have to put up with some long drawn out BS story about getting somewhere and needing gas or money for a phone call or something. If I have a dollar in my front pocket and I am on a date I would rather gove it to them than have to listen to their long drawn out bullshit and waste my time and ruin the mood of my date. If I see someone as a threat I dont look them in the eye I look at their hands. If I get in a physical confrontation with someone I NEVER EVER look them in the eye. I stare at their torso so I can see better, peoples heads are not a threat.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 12:46:42 PM EDT
Make eye contact and speak firmly. If this guy was a predator, what this woman did is the exact way to trigger predator instinct.

Don't be an asshole. If you say "f*ck off" or "get a job" you'll probably piss them off. No reason to risk an escalation is a firm no will do.

Personally, i don't give change to people who beg. Offer me something. If someone offers to clean my cars windshield i'll politely tell them, no thanks and give you my pocket change anyway because at least he's trying to work, not beg. I tend to give my pocket change to street musicians as well.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 1:17:17 PM EDT
Q: What time is it?

A: Day time.
Link Posted: 8/4/2005 1:25:46 PM EDT
This is a good argument for carrying pepper spray. Just give them a small blast and escape. Always have a less than lethal option open to you. You shouldn't have to shoot a beggar.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 5:41:00 AM EDT

When approached by those type of people the best response is make eye contact accompanied by a firm "No."
I prefer "I cannot help you, sir/ma'am," with heavy emphasis on the sir/ma'am. The sir/ma'am really freaks the bums out and they run like hell, since the only people that call them that are police officers.

Kharn
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 6:32:23 AM EDT
Draw down on him.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 7:07:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rtech:
This is a good argument for carrying pepper spray. Just give them a small blast and escape. Always have a less than lethal option open to you. You shouldn't have to shoot a beggar.



Yea, this is a good way to go to jail for assult, unless the person was threatening you.

And drawing down on him??? I hope that was a joke. That's also a great way to go to jail and have ANY hope of getting/keeping CCW in your state quickly go down the tubes.

Just be polite and tell them you can't spare any and walk away. It's that simple.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 12:14:29 AM EDT
When someone looks like they ae coming up to me to ask for money right before they open their mouth I ask them, "hey man you got a dollar?" You'd be suprised how many people that throws off and they usually answer no and walk away.
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 10:52:58 AM EDT

Originally Posted By scottinhawaii:
When someone looks like they ae coming up to me to ask for money right before they open their mouth I ask them, "hey man you got a dollar?" You'd be suprised how many people that throws off and they usually answer no and walk away.



Link Posted: 8/8/2005 10:56:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Kharn:

When approached by those type of people the best response is make eye contact accompanied by a firm "No."
I prefer "I cannot help you, sir/ma'am," with heavy emphasis on the sir/ma'am. The sir/ma'am really freaks the bums out and they run like hell, since the only people that call them that are police officers.

Kharn



Another good one.

Usually if I'm able to, I just ignore them and keep walking without even responding. If cornered, I'll make eye contact and just say "no". But as posted I'll make eye contact then watch the hands/body language to see what the next step is going to be.
Link Posted: 9/4/2005 9:51:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:
Most women hate conflict with someone they don't know.



I'm guessing you haven't met my wife

Eye contact is taken as a sign of respect and strength in some areas. In the hood, eye contact can be taken as a challenge and could get you killed (especially if no one said anything to you). 90% of individuals who got something to say to me will receive immediate eye contact (I've already sized them up) and the 10% of the time that I'm caught off guard, the person will get a quick scan and then eye contact.
Link Posted: 9/4/2005 10:05:52 PM EDT
Women seldom make eye contact with strangers. Most will look up to 45 degrees away. Men do better, particularly in rural areas. City dwellers rarely make eye contact.

Link Posted: 9/4/2005 10:22:34 PM EDT
Eye contact can be seen as aggression to, though I generally agree with you confidence and presence are more important. Your body has to say fuck off at the same time you firmly say no or give the wave-off. I am not saying bow your chest out get in his face and stare him down just do not show weakness. Damn sure do not pull a gun to avoid a begger. Their is more than eye contact, it is said most of communication is non-verbal I believe this is true.
Top Top