The Lone Ranger was ambushed & captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in 3 days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you 3 requests. What is your first request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger. The Lone Ranger whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunet, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your last request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, alone." The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by one ear, grabs him by the other, looks him square in the eye & says, "listen carefully, for the last time, I need a posse! A POSSE!!!!"

One time the Lone Ranger and Tonto had a hard full days ride to get to the nearest town. As soon as they arrived they went to the nearest saloon to quench their thirst.

After a few minutes a guy walks into the saloon and says, "Whoevers white horse that is outside better go out there and check on it. It looks like its a little too hot and about to pass out."

So the Lone Ranger and Tonto head outside to check on the horse and sure enough its about to pass out. They get it some water to drink and they start drenching it with water to help cool off. Then the Lone Ranger tells Tonto, "Im gonna go back in and finish my beer and I need you to stay out here and take care of the horse. I want you to run around in circles for a few minutes and try to create a little wind to help cool it off. When you get tired just come on back into the saloon".

Tonto says he will and the Lone Ranger walks back in. A couple of minutes later another guy walks in and asks who the owner of the white horse is. The Lone Ranger replies, "It's mine, why? Is it about to pass out again?". To which the stranger says, "Oh no, your horse looks fine but you left your Injun runnin!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are surrounded by hundreds of Indians in a full native uprising.  The Indians have blood in their eyes and scalps on their belts.

"Well, Tonto," the Lone Ranger says, "we've been in tough places before, but I don't think we're going to get out of this one."

Tonto replies: "What do you mean [b]WE[/b], white-man?"

The lone ranger is sitting on his death bed and he turns to Tonto and says "tonto before i die i have one request" "What is your request kemosabi" Tano replies. "I want to know what exataly is a KemoSabi"

Tanto then leans over to the lone ranger and whispers into his ear "Horses ass"