Cat removed from tree sues Fire Department for wrongful eviction, discrimination

ORLANDO, FL - Cranky, the cat that was removed from a tree by firefighters here two weeks ago when it failed to come down on its own has sued the Orlando Fire Department for wrongful eviction and unspecified monetary damages.

In a statement he said, "I thought it would be apparent to the Millers, my purported 'owners', that I did not desire to return to their home.  Despite my lack of enthusiasm, persistent spraying, late night meowing and prolific hunting they simply refused to accept the obvious.  I moved into the tree and was quite happy, thank you.  I had plenty of birds to eat and didn't have to be placed into a pillowcase and swung around by that wicked 5 year old girl.  I began seeing a cute female kitty from a couple of streets over and was, for the first time in my life, beginning to feel like a real cat.
Then all heck broke loose when they called the fire department and stole my liberty."

Cranky's attorney, famed animal lawyer Vincent Ronald stated, "This is one of the most appalling examples of anti-feline behavior I have ever seen.  He wanted me to tell the Orlando Fire Department that this kind of infringement on personal rights will not go unpunished.  He wanted me to tell 5 year old Kendra Miller that, despite what her mother told her, he was not 'just playing' when he scratched her face up those 8 times."

A spokesman for the Orlando Fire Department was, "too friggin mad" to comment.